The Things I Do
by The Grand Dutchess
Summary: When Curly is spurned by Rhonda, he completely gives up on his love for her. But a series of accidental events leads to something that will bring the two closer to each other than before. Is it really worth doing, the things I do?
1. CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

RHONDA

It wasn't everyday that I wake up cringing in bed at the things I have to face in school, to be more specific, Curly.

I lied. I do wake up cringing every day but today the cringing took on a whole new level.

I turned to see the blinking green lights of my alarm clock. 5:30. I gritted my teeth as I slammed the alarm clock to shut it up. I know you're probably wondering what induced the super cringe but as we all know just take a look at the crazed eyes of that guy and his homicidal maniac smile and you're not left with a cringe but a sudden urgency to run as fast as your feet can take you and report to the police. And that's only when he's looking at you, he hasn't even done anything yet.

As I was saying, why did I wake up today with a sense of foreboding, heightened annoyance and an impulse to scream at the unfairness of everything? It's because, yesterday, Curly had crossed the line.

That's right. After all the crap that he has done throughout the years to make my life miserable, Curly, or should I say Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, has crossed the imaginary line.

Stare at me the whole day? Fine! Steal articles of my clothing? Great! Introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend? That I can deal with, I've been going through the same shit for 12 years! But interrupting my date with the hottest boy in school and the one that I have had a crush on for two years ever since I started high school? Not. Cool.

I shut my eyes preventing the tears from falling. I'm not going to cry because stupid Curly, the freak, ruined my only chance with Francis Mitchell. He doesn't have the right to make me feel this way. As if my brain was on autopilot, it replayed the horrible scene that happened yesterday.

Dinner with Francis was great. He took me to this gorgeous restaurant where he reserved a table that was located outside so we can see the view of the city as the restaurant sat atop a hill. It was breathtaking. The lights, the music, the atmosphere, everything. We flirted casually, I tried to bat my lashes and charm him with my smile. Then suddenly, disaster struck in the form of Curly.

I could still see it. Curly, emerging from the bushes half-naked then suddenly talking about how he was going to defend my honour while he pointed a frigging plastic sword at my date. Me, with my eyes widening and my throat trying to force a scream out when Curly dived on my date. Francis, with fear appearing on his beautiful features the moment he saw Curly's face coming very close to his then disgust after I explained who the lanky, half-naked guy was and what he was to me. Then he stormed off without saying goodbye leaving me with Curly and a mess to deal with. We didn't even get to finish the Fettuccine Alfredo that we ordered. Not only that, I had to pay for everything, apologize to everyone at the restaurant because I most definitely disturbed their dinner and drag Curly out of there so we did not have to deal with the shocked, outraged and pitiful looks that people sent our way.

When the restaurant was out of sight, I halted and let go of Curly's hand. On instinct, I wiped it against my red Valentino summer dress that I so excitedly picked out of my huge closet a few moments before. By now the excitement was gone. I suddenly turned to face him. There was a combination of sadness and regret in those black eyes, at least from what I can see through those hideous, thick glasses of his. His left hand still clutched the plastic sword.

Again my conscience kicked in and I felt sorry for him but then I remembered what happened and how he destroyed my one chance with Francis, the one guy whom I actually felt something for. When Francis passed me in the halls or when I see him in the court while we have cheerleading practice, my heart skips a beat. Now, I know that when I look at him, I'll only see what could have been, might have been, should have been. And it's all thanks to the psycho stalker in front of me that has been torturing me since I joined the education system. Life really is unfair.

His head was down and his shoulders drooped. He seemed really fixated at the ground. My eyes scanned the boy who have been the bane of my existence for the last twelve years, from his face which was unseen through the his thick, black hair to his pale chest and scrawny arms then his thin, seemingly never ending legs covered in loose denim and finally down to his red Converse sneakers. I sighed. How can someone who looks so normal be so sick and twisted on the inside?

I sighed loudly. "Look up," I demanded through gritted teeth. He looked up and for a second when our eyes met, it was like I could not say anything, could not think of anything, then the moment ended and I cleared my throat. "Do I even have to ask what the hell was that, Curly? Urgh! My first date with the guy I really, really like and you can't even control yourself…" I couldn't say the rest, my chest rose and fall and I glared at Curly with the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

There it was again, the look of hurt and anguish on his face, as if he had a right to actually feel that way. I wanted to feel sorry for him again but I wasn't finish with my piece. "You really are a freak, you know that? You need help. No normal person will burst through the bushes not wearing a shirt in the middle of a high class restaurant or insist on liking a girl that doesn't want anything to do with him," I whispered.

I closed my eyes to stop the tears. I didn't want him to see me cry, I didn't want him to know he had any effect on me whatsoever. But when I opened them again I saw his eyes widening, full of unshed tears and his jaw was hanging down as if he couldn't believe what I just said. He blinked. Once. Twice. Then finally the tears fell… I had finally broken Thaddeus' heart again. This time, because of my anger, I didn't even care how it would be like for him. Screw him, he's never been considerate of my feelings, of how I might react to his bizarre ways of him expressing his "love".

Then, I delivered it. The final blow.

As much as it pained me to crush another's soul, I had to do it. It was the final straw.

"Curly. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. YOU. I have never liked you and you should stop now. You're not winning my heart, you're never winning it because you truly repulse me and all I ever want is for you to just leave me the hell alone." All that I said as I stared him down with my eyes, I tried to anyways. I couldn't look at him like that anymore, it was like I could see his soul dying just from the expression in his face so I turned away. I didn't say anything more. I knew that I would regret whatever that would have come out of my mouth. It was probably just going to encourage him to stalk me again.

So I left him there, in a dark corner, with his heart broken and with that homicidal smile and the crazed look in his eyes gone from his face.

I never turned back, I walked and walked and then I ran until I thought my chest would burst. I called Nadine with my cell, she fetched me from the curb I was sitting on down at Lexington Ave. and drove me home. I sat in silence. I didn't want to tell her what happened and the concern in her eyes was just unbearable. When we reached my mansion, I thanked her, told her that I would tell her in the morning and just went straight to bed.

And now I'm awake. Staring at the ceiling, feeling guilty for what I did but at the same time relieved that I did that. He had it coming for a long time. He deserved it.

I shook my head. Of course he deserved it, the little freak have been doing the creepiest stuff to me since we were four. I had to end it. But was that the best way? Probably not. However, if there was one thing I was sure of, it was effective.

It reminded me of the time in the fifth grade, or was it fourth? I really don't care either way but a similar thing happened. And something happened that I didn't expect, they all sided with him. The class delinquent, the strange psychopath, the annoying nuisance. I couldn't believe it, I was fuming. Still the main point is: Is my popularity going to suffer like it did back then? That thought alone stopped me cold. No way will I let Thaddeus Gammelthorpe ruin what I have most worked hard on.

I was determined to not let that happen and that thought stuck as I was brushing my teeth until it hurts and my gums were bleeding. It was still there when I was picking out what clothes to wear when I decided on a white tank top, a red cardigan, a poufy yellow skirt and black kitten heels. I wasn't in the mood to do my hair nor my makeup. I showered, put on my clothes then went down for breakfast but the tiny doubt still stuck. Who was Rhonda Lloyd is she wasn't popular?

The question hit a little too close to home and I bit my lip, trying to ignore all the doubts that were starting to creep in. Fortunately, Daddy went in the dining room to interrupt those unwelcomed thoughts.

I smiled. Mother came in then. She always amazed me. We looked so much alike with our black hair, the same brown eyes and straight nose. Even the similar pouty red lips, it was like I was carbon copy of her.

They sat down as the maid brought in breakfast, my stomach gurgled as I realised that I haven't eaten anything since the unfinished pasta I had yesterday. Damn Curly, for ruining my dinner.

"So, Rhonda dear, what will you be doing today?" my father asked casually as he poured tea.

Usually I'd tell him in detail all the activities I'd be doing throughout the day. Today, I just wasn't in the mood.

"Going to school," I said lamely as I picked through my scrambled egg whites.

My father and mother stared at each other then turned to me, "Is something wrong, honey? You're barely touching breakfast." Their brows were furrowed in concern and I smiled. It's good to have loving parents but sometimes it can get a bit much.

"Nothing's wrong, I just am worried about the Prada bag I ordered, it hasn't arrived yet," I moaned. They seemed relieved and accepted my answer. "It really is a bummer," I continued as I finally took a bite of the scrambled eggs.

A beep on my father's watch alerted him. He bid us goodbye and gave my mother and I kiss on the cheek before saying, "I really must dash darlings, see you at dinner!"

He disappeared through the oak doors. The silence in the dining room was awkward, I never really had anything to say to my mother. We weren't really close but she loves me and I love her, to me that was enough. I smiled at her as she stirred her coffee.

I glanced at the wall clock. Seven. Great. "Mom, I have to go or I'll be late for school. Bye," I too gave her a peck on the cheek then went on my way. I went through the door, bid our housekeeper Leonora a goodbye.

My doubts resurfaced when I reached the garage, I needed to get rid of them. Curly was not going to bring me down to Loserville with him. I'm not going to be unpopular. I'm not going to be unpopular. High School is different. Those were my mantras as I slid into my sleek, red sports car and sped out of our garage.

I inhaled and exhaled just like my yoga instructress told me. Today was going to be a new day and not even Thaddeus Gammelthorpe can ruin it.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

CURLY

I just want to die. Just shoot me now. Twelve years of hard work, never ending devotion and countless schemes to make her fall in love with me finally culminated in a disaster. I really am pathetic. I have never felt this way. It was like she took my heart out of my chest, gripped it tightly and then finally shredded it into little tiny pieces with a smile on her gorgeous face.

_She doesn't like you. She doesn't even want you in her sight. She is repulsed by you._

I tried to block out the voices in my head and squeeze my eyes shut. However, they wouldn't shut up and I knew they were right. Rhonda hates me. No, worse than that, I disgust her.

Doesn't she know she means everything to me? My light in the blinding darkness that corrupts my soul, the angel that will be my only salvation and the water that can quench my endless thirst, she is all I have. I scoffed, it was an illusion. She was never mine in the first place. Rhonda Wellington was fully capable of giving her heart to whomever she pleases to give it to, I realised that as I stumbled in the darkness of my room.

I didn't even remember how I got home. It was all a blur. The moment those horrible words left her full, red lips to the point when I reached my front door, everything was hazy. All I knew was that it felt like an arrow had pierced my heart and life did not have any meaning anymore. I didn't greet my mom when she smiled at me and rejected the dinner that she offered to prepare. I went straight to my room with my eyes feeling like there was sand in them and my mouth feeling extremely dry.

Now as I lay in bed, the memories of yesterday flooding my head, I had this sudden epiphany that maybe I should just stay here. Under the blankets here in my bed, in my room, I'm safe. I wouldn't be hurt again. But that was the coward's way, I had to face Rhonda, it might sting. Shit, it might even kill me, but I just have to do it. If I don't, then I should just give up on life.

I stripped the blanket off my body. I had to face the world. There have been times in life when Rhonda had rejected me or said something particularly mean that stood out from the other insults she usually snapped at me and for a second it always felt like the end of the world. Until I recover because I see her face again, she doesn't know I'm watching her. However, those are the moments that she looks incredibly breath-taking. Not just stunning or beautiful but breath-taking. Literally. It was like just by watching her and seeing her it made me feel that someone had stolen all the oxygen in the room. My heart starts beating really fast and I hear music. Wonderful music, a symphony.

With what happened yesterday, all I'd probably hear when I see that girl's face is funeral music. Suits the mood.

I headed for the toilet but I could not help but stop in front of the mirror. I look at myself, really look at my gangly arms and skinny legs, my face. No wonder she hates me. I wasn't like one of those guys in the football team who are buff. Sure, I'm tall, thanks to puberty, but that's about it. I wasn't bad looking, still, I was a long shot from being good looking. Although, as I stare at myself I wondered, what doesn't she see in me? What did I lack? Wasn't love enough? And why do fools, like me, have to fall in love with girls like her anyway?

The pieces of the plastic sword pierced my foot as I decided to give up trying to find my flaws, I was scared I'll find too many. When I made my way to the shower and shut the door, something stirred inside me. Determination. If Rhonda doesn't like me, I guess I just have to deal with that and give up. I've failed after a million attempts. This did not brighten my mood. But after a night of crying and pining, nothing probably will.

I will get over Rhonda I promised to myself as I gritted my teeth. I will, even if it's the last thing I'll ever do.

I got out of the shower and hastily put on any shirt that wasn't dirty and a pair of jeans. I was struggling with my belt when my hands itched to turn on the radio before I did something crazy. My therapist suggested I did things like this to keep myself from more trouble but sometimes I can't help myself, especially when Rhonda's around. She makes me want to be insane. Neurotic. A total nutcase.

To stop more of these thoughts, I switched on the radio.

_Lying beside you, here in the…_

I growled then switched it to another station. Bon Jovi came blasting through the speakers, I smirked. She definitely gives love a bad name.

….

Saying it, okay, thinking about it was easier than getting it done. The bus passed by the usual spots: Gerald Field, that old tall tree, Arnold's house and as we get nearer to school I pondered on how I was going to get over Rhonda. More importantly, will I ever really get over her?

By the time the bus stopped and the driver yelled over his shoulder, "Get your asses out of the damn bus!" my stomach was already churning. Not from fear, I never get scared, but from nervousness. I was going to see Rhonda again. It was now or never.

Mustering all the courage I've got, I stepped out only to be hit by the full blast of the cold wind. I wonder if she brought a jacket today. It's really freezing and it's bad for- Argh! How am I supposed to get over her if I'm already thinking of her welfare?

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

So what if she doesn't have a jacket? I hope she freezes to death. I'll bet she'll survive, her heart is as cold as ice. Ignoring my concern for the bitch that broke my heart, I made my way to class without making eye contact with anyone else. People in this school are frigging mind readers, especially Arnold. I'm not going to lie he is probably the kindest boy I've ever met yet one of the most ignorant. Everybody can see that Helga is head over heels with him. I sighed. It seems like Helga has a bigger chance of getting her first love.

What was I thinking? Of course she has a bigger chance, I'm over Rhonda. I am!

I reached the door of my homeroom, unfortunately one I share with Rhonda. I was going in when I bumped into someone.

"What the hell? Watch where you're going, moron!" she yelled into my ear. Ah, Helga. How nice to see you so early in the morning, not.

I mumbled an apology then almost ran to my seat. I sat down, panting, I didn't know why that was so but then _she_ walked in. You know, the one. The heartless bitch that splattered my heart on the sidewalk. Rhonda Lloyd Wellington has just arrived.

My heart suddenly started to pump faster. I wondered how that can happen when it was already broken. She looked beautiful as always. Her silky black hair fell perfectly over her shoulders, those perfect, red lips pouted in a manner that begged to be kissed and those legs that are exposed. They seem longer than a mile, I tell you. Then, I remembered, so what if she's gorgeous? Tch. I'm over her.

She was sashaying towards her seat when all of a sudden she turned to me. Our eyes met and for that expanse of time I almost willingly forgave her for all that she had said. Those eyes the color of hazel widened as if she was surprised to see me here.

It all came back to me. She hates me. She is disgusted by me.

I didn't want her to see the pain that must be surely etched in my face so I turned away.

I left her stunned. The first time I was able to resist staring at the most amazing eyes that ever sparkled under the light. I sighed. It was painful even just to sigh.

But I felt optimistic too, I knew I was doing well. If I can do that, resist those eyes, I can get over Rhonda. Maybe, someday, even forget her…


	3. CHPTER THREE

CHAPTER THREE

RHONDA

"What did you do to 'crazy'?" Helga whispered in the middle of Trig from behind. I groaned. I didn't want to deal with her prying. When I didn't respond she started tapping my back. She isn't going to stop. I knew Helga.

I turned to glare at her. She gave me a deadpanned look and popped her gum. Nothing gets past Helga. My gut tells me to fake it as best as I can.

"I didn't do anything to the deranged freak, Helga," I hissed under my breath, I'm already in enough trouble as it is with Mr. Gunner.

"Really?" I can almost picture one of Helga's eyebrow rising. "You serious, princess?" I heard her laugh behind me. "He looks like somebody locked all the animals of the world in the zoo and after that somebody stole his chainsaw."

I'm never trusting my gut again. I almost cried out in frustration, what is it with Helga? I stole a glance at Curly, he was in the corner of the classroom staring out of the window. Just moments before class started he glanced at me then turned away. I was impressed, what I did worked perfectly. I have finally repelled Curly. It was great.

But Helga's incessant questioning isn't.

An idea came. I smiled, I turned again then I said, "If you don't stop bothering me right now, after this class I am going straight to Arnold and tell him how much you secretly love him and how you have been stalking him ever since kindergarten."

Helga's eyes widened and a blush appeared on her cheeks. I faced the front smirking only to see Mr Gunner in front of me.

I'm dead.

"Miss Wellington," he was grinning, fully showcasing his stained teeth. I cringed. Eww, has he ever heard of a toothbrush or at least flossing? He was dreadfully smug as if he just one-upped me, I had a thought that was very Helga. I wanted to sock him in the face.

"Miss Wellington," he repeated, "I'm sure you're aware that by not paying attention in my class you run the risk of going to detention, and I'm very sure your daddy dearest will not like that at all." This he said with such fake innocence that it made me bite back a nasty reply. If there was one person who can make me feel bad for being rich, it was Mr. Gunner.

I focused on the negative things about him. It always helped me calm down when I'm faced with someone impossible. His clothes looked like it came from Elton John's closet, he has deformed, yellow teeth, one of his eye is smaller than the other and not to mention his sallow skin hang onto his bones in a hollow way. One thing is for sure, my Math teacher is never going to get laid. Ever. I released the breath I didn't realised I was holding.

I felt calmer already. The insult never came out of my mouth and I widened my eyes to look as if I had done nothing wrong. He wasn't swayed. Oh sure, he seemed surprised that I didn't talk back like I usually did but as soon as he recovered the smug grin appeared again. My fists were already clenched, I'm halfway to losing it.

Helga must have sensed it too, she butted in. "Mr. Gunner, why the hell is the answer to number five sine133? Shouldn't it be cosine133? Crimeny! I'm dealing with amateurs here..." Now, if it was any other student who talked like that to a teacher, that student would have a sure ticket to detention but since it was Helga... Well, let's just say everybody's used to it by now.

Mr. Gunner was confused at first. He was caught between continuing his monologue about my rich father, who happened to be his sworn enemy in high school as Daddy told me, and correcting the mistake on the board. He frowned then turned towards the board. I gave a mental sigh of relief.

"Helga, it seems that you're right. How come I didn't see that before?" he muttered as he got busy erasing the wrong answer. I glanced behind and said under my breath, "Thank you."

"No. No 'thank you'. You owe me princess," she hissed, "And I'm not done wondering what in God's name you did to Mr. Insane."

"Fine." This might be a new day, a day when I don't have to deal with Curly's hair-raising stare, but it's going to be a really long one.

...

"So as I said, Shakespeare was really a..." I tuned Ms. Pattera out. I hate lessons. Boring. Boring. Boring. My eyes wandered around the class as I tried to find something that will relieve me of my boredom. Gerald and Phoebe were giving each other shy smiles from across the room. Barf. Arnold was paying really close attention to whatever crap the teacher was spouting then my eyes passed Sean, Lisa and Garrett texting under the table before finally landing on Curly. He was sitting in a corner again but this time I could see him much more clearly because I was also near the back of the class.

I wondered if he would really stop doing weird things to me like popping out of nowhere to sniff my hair or touch my nose. I did try to break his heart yesterday but this is Curly, somehow he always bounced back. Still, I can't help but notice something was different today, like there is something missing. I couldn't tell what it was but it certainly bugged me. A quiet Curly is not a normal Curly. The last time I remember Curly kept quiet was before he locked himself in the principal's office with 300 dodgeballs then started throwing those balls at everyone through a narrow gap at the top of the door.

The only person he trusted was Arnold.

I wondered. If that was what Curly could do during the fourth grade, what is he capable of doing now? A chill went down my spine at that thought. The chill became more intense when he looked up and caught me staring at him. This was not good. I expected him to wink back or smirk or... anything! That was how he usually flirted but now it was like I don't even exist. There was just indifference and boredom on his face. As if seeing me wasn't the highlight of his day. It usually is, but now...

He is just looking back, his face devoid of any emotion. It scared me yet at the same time I felt freedom. I rolled my eyes just for effect then went back to looking in front. Can things get any weirder? For the first time, Thaddeus "Curly" Gammelthorpe wasn't staring at me. I smiled, payback really is a bitch.

Then my stupid conscience just had to kick in and I felt my smile disappear. What if I really broke his heart and he got so depressed? Am I supposed to feel guilty for that or should I just ignore him? It was making me mad but those cold, lifeless eyes that he showed me last night popped into my brain. Did I really make the right decision by doing what I did? A part of me is saying hell yes; the bastard deserved it after doing whatever the hell it was he did to me for all those years and ruining my chances with Francis. The other part is saying no, I did not. It was saying I was a bitch and was urging me to apologize to Curly for hurting his feelings. I almost laughed at the idea. Me apologize to Curly? I don't think so. Like that's ever going to happen. Over my dead sexy body.

However, while I was having this inner war, I didn't see Coach Lysell enter the room. "Can I speak to Rhonda for a second, Trudy?" she asked Ms. Paterra as I glanced up to see what was happening. Coach was dressed in her usual outfit of track pants and a bright red jacket. It seems like those are the only things she wears.

"Well, if it's for something important..." Ms. Paterra started to say.

"It is," Coach confirmed staring me dead on the eyes. I smell trouble, call it women's intuition.

"Ah-okay! Rhonda could you please go with Coach Lysell," Ms. Paterra stammered. For some reason, Coach really intimidates the shit out of her. It would be hilarious if I wasn't in this situation.

All eyes were on me (aren't they always?) when I made my way across the classroom to the door. I gave the class one final look only to see that Curly was actually staring at me. It made me scurry out of the room faster.

The journey to Coach's office was silent. I drilled myself to focus my eyes on the spot between her shoulders and bit the inside of my cheeks to stop my curiosity from coming out of my mouth. She gave me an odd look before we went inside her cold office. It was filled with trophies, which I'm guessing were from her glory days. Coach was one manic cheerleader. She loves cheerleading so much she even decided to teach cheerleading. That is just sad. I mean, I love cheerleading but I can never see myself making it a career. It was just a hobby. A hobby that comes with prestige, power, popularity and really cute uniforms that showed me best asset, my legs.

As of now, cheerleading is very important to me. Without cheerleading, my popularity will sink and nobody wants that to happen. Everything is good as long as Rhonda Lloyd is in charge. I have to do something about that Shelby girl though. She's getting too much attention that I-

"Rhonda!" Coach shouted.

"Yes, ma'am?" I squeaked.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you to my office," she said as she took a seat behind her big desk.

_Well, duh. However, you did pull me out in the middle of a really boring lesson so I thank you for that._

"Yes," I answered warily.

"It's about your grades." Oh? Why would she want to discuss my grades with me? Ms. Grace our Guidance Counsellor does that.

"Why?" I said dumbly.

"You're grades are slipping and I am a firm believer of students balancing academics and extracurricular activities, not just being good on either but managing both well." Huh? What is she on about?

"So?" I asked bluntly and her gaze became much stern. She really is intimidating. I don't feel sorry for Ms. Paterra now, I feel sorry for myself. It was like there was an aura of darkness that says watch-your-tongue-or-I'll-cut-it.

"I'm deciding whether to kick you off the squad."

"What?" I yelled in surprise. I wasn't just surprised, I was in shock. Kick me off the squad? What is she thinking? She's mad! I'm one of the best there is! I work my butt off every practice and train extra at home. This is an outrage.

"Let me finish," she said calmly as if my future in this school is not what is at stake right now. Does she know what this will do to me socially? "I am still deciding whether you should be out of the squad. There is hope."

Hope? I'll take it! Any kind of hope is good. Not just good, great! Grand! Swell! Fantastic! Marvellous! Okay, that's enough.

"Your grades are slipping and this semester they are worse than they have ever been. You need to pull them up or you're out."

I nodded. I understand what's on the line here.

"Not only that, to make sure I don't lose a great flyer, you're going to have to get a tutor."

A tutor? A nerdlet that is going to hang around me and teach me boring stuff that I already heard in school? No, thanks.

"I don't think that's necessary, Coach."

Her lips disappeared into a grim line and with finality she said, "It is, it's compulsory. _I_ am making it compulsory."

Oh great! That's just great! I am now forced to be in contact with a nerd and just sit there while he/she talks about inverse proportion and other shit, waiting there to catch his/her disgusting geek germs. Like I said, swell.

"I mean it, Rhonda. If you don't get higher grades, especially in your Mathematics, I am kicking you out of the squad," she added.

"Will I be able to choose my own tutor?" I said through gritted teeth. My life really sucks now.

"No. But you already have one assigned to you, he comes highly recommended."

"It's a he? Who is it?" I asked, my voice filled with horror.

She scanned her desk for something, a piece of paper maybe. She found it under a huge stack of folders, it was really crumpled like somebody already threw it in the trash then she picked it out of there.

After taking the note, she read from it, "His name is Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, you might be familiar with him. He is in several of your classes, perhaps you know each other?"

Know? Familiar? Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. Curly? He is going to be my tutor?

ARGHHHHHH!

She asked me if I knew Curly, I almost chuckled. Hah! Yeah, I know him. The dude's been stalking me for twelve long years! Not only that, he has done things that I can bring up in court so that he'll get a restraining order.

Instead of screaming my frustration and how life doesn't really want to go according to my plan, I just clenched my fist until I felt my nails digging onto my palms. My lips curled into a smile and I heard myself say, "That's great," in a broken voice. I made my way out of the office but I didn't want to go back to class. My feet took me to the bathroom where I just stood in front of a mirror and stared at myself.

My feelings were all mixed up. I wanted to cry. Scream. Break something. This new day is already starting to suck and it's only ten in the morning.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR

RHONDA

A whole week has gone by. There was no longing looks, no phone calls, no weird shenanigans or outbursts of insanity, nothing. It was like Thaddeus Gammelthorpe ceased to exist, until I look at the corner of the class and see him frowning at everything. It was like there was a gloomy presence that was not to be discussed.

He didn't speak nor did he respond when people talked to him. Believe me, Arnold tried. It was fourth grade all over again, only this time it's worse, none of us knew what was going on in that mind of his.

Now that I have cooled down and actually had plenty of time to think, I actually feel sorry for Curly. _I _was the one who put him in such a state. It was _my _fault. But then I think about what he did and the boundaries he overstepped and how after so many years the nerve-wracking torture continued, he got what was coming to him so I flipped my hair and forced myself not to think about it. It didn't work. I thought about it day and night. I couldn't sleep because of it. I'd lay awake in bed pondering and contemplating any other course of action I could have taken to make him stay away. The guilt was making me sick and I knew that sooner I was going to have to do something drastic. It happened on lunchtime.

"So… I guess we're never going to discuss that fateful night," Nadine casually said before biting her tuna sandwich.

I shot her a look. The one that meant she better keep quiet or I will maim her.

"No, Nadine, we will never talk about that night. Ever."

She looked at me expectantly just as Lila sat down with as with the same kind smile on her face. I may be a bitch but the people I hang out with certainly belong in a convent. Lila has nothing but kind words and smiles for everybody, sometimes it can get annoying but mostly I just admire someone who can be nice to even the most infuriating people. She must have a lot of patience. Then there's Nadine, the lover of animals, even starting an Environment Club and helping at the shelter during the weekends. Next to them, I look like the devil.

"Hi! The line was ever so long and I was already ever so hungry that my stomach rumbled while I was in the line. Luckily, Arnold was there to give me some tapioca pudding while I waited to get my tray. He is such a nice boy," she said while smiling cheerfully. You see? Ain't she like a living Scarlett O'hara except she has red hair and isn't a conniving little bitch. Other than that, they're almost identical.

"Yeah, that is fo-" I forgot what I had to say because right then Francis entered the cafeteria. His wavy, blonde locks glowed under the lights, high blue eyes sparkle and his wonderful, knee-weakening smile showcased his perfect teeth, he is perfection. He sauntered in confidently, his eyes scanning the room, his stride was full of grace. He glanced to the left and saw me. He halted suddenly with horrified eyes then… he turned away. It has been the same for every day of the week.

I bit my lip and looked down so that the girls wouldn't notice, Lila did anyway. She notices almost everything, very astute that girl. She turned to see Francis and his basketball buddies and gave me a knowing look. I smiled to wave it off, to show that I didn't care, but inside my heart was breaking.

Nadine was reading her Biology book, which I was thankful for, the disgusting pictures kept her occupied. Occupied enough to not see that my crush just ignored me and had a face that said, "Where's your little psychotic boyfriend?"

Lila smiled reassuringly; she knew what the deal was. I stood up just because I couldn't deal with more problems right then. When I did, Nadine got her nose out of her Biology book and stared at me questioningly. I gave them a very hurried and lame reply, "I forgot about this thing I've got to do so see you later."

Nadine was confused but Lila just nodded. I packed my things, grabbed my Louis Vuitton handbag and left my half eaten taco on the table. Nadine opened her mouth to say something then closed it again, her brows furrowed in confusion.

I walked away from the busyness of the cafeteria, overheard Nadine saying behind me, "You didn't finish your lunch, Rhonda!" but I didn't turn. The girl already thought I had an eating disorder, things can't get any worse. She was worried about me, I knew, but right then I just really wanted to escape. I didn't care where, just a place where I would be alone.

Why did it hurt? It wasn't like the date went great and I expected him to act like this. Still, it didn't soften the blow. My feet lead me to an abandoned part of the school. It was perfect. A place where I could bawl my eyes out and no one would care. I waited but the tears didn't come. Was I all cried out or did I just didn't care? The pain was there but surprisingly, no tears.

It wasn't long before I realised I wasn't alone. There, sitting against the wall, was a boy with black hair and lanky frame listening to music with his eyes closed. I needed a distraction so I could stop feeling the pain.

I approached him by ripping the earphones from his ears, his eyes opened and he looked up at me startled. Those black eyes were penetrative, it was as if it saw what was inside me, my soul, my thoughts, everything.

"What are you up to, Curly?" I snapped. While my eyes narrowed into slits. To anyone this question might seem casual, like, "What are you doing?" but when used between Curly and I it has whole different meaning. It means, "What else are you planning to do to ruin my life?"

He did not respond for a few moments. I glared at him. He shrugged. "Nothing."

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" I asked hotly.

"Exactly what I meant, nothing. I am not up to anything as you so kindly asked and that's that," he replied. He looked pretty annoyed with me already.

Him, annoyed, with me? Hah! There really is a first time for everything, isn't there?

"I do not believe you," I growled.

He stood up and I realised that I wasn't taller than him anymore. In fact, quite the opposite, he has a lot more inches than me.

It felt as if my throat was dry so I gulped. Loudly. He grinned at that. Grinned! Stupid freak, as if he had any right to grin. It wasn't a grin of amusement, no, it was a smug grin. My stomach started to flip. Am I actually intimidated by Curly? Him? Of course not!

Am I?

He took a step towards me and I had to look up at him. He was so near that I could smell his breath, not that it's the first time I ever smelled it, seeing as how he always like to get so damned close to me. It was how it always smelled, like mint-flavored gum.

By the time we were face to face the grin had disappear and in its place was a grim frown. He spoke calmly, "Look, Rhonda, I have not spoken to you unless you have spoken to me first nor have I been following you around. Neither did I leave any gifts in your locker or confessed my 'love' randomly during classes we have together." He paused but still gave me that dead on stare. "I'm doing all the things that you want me to do, what more do you want?" He sighed.

He was right. What more did I want? He already left me alone and that's what I wanted but there's something off with Curly and I feel the need to talk to him although I really don't want to.

"Do you know that you're my tutor?" I asked. I was still outraged by that fact but it seems that I don't have to be so nervous about it. He certainly seem like he doesn't want to tutor me.

"Yeah... Math, right?" he said without any emotion, as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Right," I whispered while I touched my elbow. It was one of my annoying mannerisms.

As he took his bag, turned and gave me one last glance, I watched his retreating back and thought about how things between us had changed so much. Two weeks ago if we ended up together in a room alone he probably would have harassed me until my patience ran out and I beat him to death. But now... well, it was hard to explain.

One thing was for sure, things were changing, but I'm not sure whether I like it or not.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE

CURLY

The following events were almost fateful, coincidental, as if it was planned to be that way. How can forgetting Rhonda Lloyd be goddamn possible if I have to see her every day? I was definitely dumb-founded at how things turned out.

It started when Ms. Grace, a really old spinster that looked like she crawled out of her coffin, called me into her office. "You called for me, Ms. Grace?" I asked.

"Why, yes! Come in and have a seat. Now dear boy, do you remember when you applied for that program to help students who aren't doing so well in their studies?" Ms. Grace asked, smiling.

Of course, I remembered. I only signed up for it because of the extra credit.

"Well, we actually found the perfect candidate for tutoring!" she said excitedly. If she didn't look like she was ninety two I'd say the woman was on crack. Nobody could be that excited so early in the morning. A mental image of a chipmunk came to mind. I didn't know why it came to mind while I was watching Ms. Grace's ecstatic face but it did.

"Oh, o-kay," I said warily, my knee was starting to jump up and down. My hands were itching to do something crazy again. I put them in my pockets.

Ms. Grace observed me, "Are you okay, boy? She asked with concern only a woman her age could give.

I cleared my throat, "I'm fine." Except for the fact that I had the sudden urge to jump on her desk. I don't think she'd like that.

"Yes, as you can see," she was flipping through a file with the school logo on the cover, "we have no more tutors and you signed up and was willing to do this program."

"I still am."

"Good," she nodded. I glimpsed an expression of hopelessness on her face. What was that for? Was she worried about her biological clock? Not that she still has one, probably got smashed to bits years ago. "This girl is… how do I put this?" she sighed. "She needs all the help she can get, she's failing really badly and you need to save her young man."

Save a dame? The perfect distraction! If I want to get over Rhonda, I need something to keep me busy… or someone. I smiled and nodded.

"It's so nice to see that you understand the situation. Rhonda Lloyd Wellington really could use-"

"WHAT?" I stood up quickly. The chair made a screeching noise that almost made me want to throw it against the wall. Ms. Grace stared at me questioningly.

"Is there a problem, Thaddeus?" she asked, her brows furrowed again.

I immediately sat back down. "No," I hissed and Ms. Grace's eyes widened.

Rhonda Lloyd? She wants me to tutor Rhonda Lloyd? RHONDA LLOYD? Is she freaking nuts? I'd say she's more insane than me. She is definitely loony! There is no way I am ever going to-

"Thaddeus? You are going to do it, aren't you?" she said, observing me again through those half-moon glasses.

I faked a smile and said through gritted teeth, "Of course. It will be my pleasure to."

She sighed.

"That's great! That is definitely marvelous, Thaddeus!" she beamed in relief. This old coot is going to put me through hell.

She handed me a file, a pen and a form. "Now, here are the subjects that she's weak in, but her weakest is Math. You need to sign the form so that there is proof that you're tutoring her and she also needs to sign it. You will get extra credit for this, young man." She patted me in the back and continued monologuing, "You know, poor girl that Rhonda. Apparently, she is going to be kicked out of the squad if she does not do well in her studies."

My ears perked up. Kicked out? Rhonda? Hah, what goes around comes around. Every bitch has her day I guess. Especially cold-hearted ones.

I signed the form then stuffed everything in my bag. That was a really great beginning to the week. Not.

Fine. If this was what was destined to happen, I'll let it slide. It's not like it's going to affect me getting over Rhonda, no freaking way. I breathed in deeply as I twisted the doorknob.

"Oh, Thaddeus?" I heard Ms. Grace's voice from behind me.

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. What else did she want? I turned.

"Yes."

"You have my pen," she said still smiling. Does that damn smile ever leave her face?

"Oh," I dumbly replied. I took it out of my bag then threw it at her. She caught it perfectly. I was impressed.

"Now you can go," she said with a twinkle in her eye. I scratched my head as I got out of her office. Did I just imagine that?

…

After school finished, I hurriedly rode my bike home. I was already going to be late for work at the pizzeria because of the stupid Physics problem that I had to do with my moronic , football-playing, Neanderthal partner who was friends with the jerk off Rhonda was on a date with, that sleazeball Francis. I hastily put on my uniform then. What did I care? She could go out with any guy she likes, it's her life. If she wants to go out with a guy who does nothing but brag about his arms, three pointers and the girls that he has slept with in the locker room, it's her decision.

But that night, the night when she told me to leave her alone, I was worried about her. I knew who Francis really was. She didn't. I was just trying to protect her. Maybe barging in with a plastic sword, pretending to be Rambo was not the best way but it did work. Francis was now avoiding her like the plague. Thanks to me. Not that I cared if she still decides to stick to him. It's her choice.

When I reached the pizzeria, it was, as usual, filled with families. They were laughing and just basically having a good time. Those are the times that made me want to be part of the fun and the reason why I applied for this job. I wanted to see strangers living their life and having a blast doing it. It made me forget my crazy world for a moment.

"Is Joe here yet?" I asked Tony as I approached the counter. Tony is the one with the magic hands, he could probably create delicious pizza out of anything. Tony was a really big guy with a huge smile on his tanned face and an Italian accent that middle-aged women still find charming. I didn't get what the big fuss is about, it's just an accent.

"Ah! Thaddeus! So nice to see you! Joe's not here yet. He'll be here soon," he beamed as he grabbed my shoulders.

Then as if he realized something, his facial expression changed. "You're early! You didn't cut the school, did you? That is a very bad thing to do! Education is important!" he said to me as I put on my apron. I rolled my eyes and clipped on my nametag. Sometimes I felt like Tony's my uncle or something. No one can replace my father but Tony, he's someone I can talk about anything with.

"Dios mio! Angela, we got two number 4 and five number 11! Hurry up, bella!" he shouted at Angela, who was new to this kind of thing.

She was short girl with a blonde, pixie haircut and a nose ring. She has a lovely sarcastic humor as well, something to look forward to during long, tiring nights.

"So did you cut the school?" he asked with a stern face.

"No, that would be physically impossible and no, to what I think you meant, I did not skip class or cut school."

"That is magnifico! You got tables four, five and seven by the way. Chop chop!" he shouted, making chopping motions with his hands. I quickly took the pizzas to their respective tables. Everything was just the usual routine, until this girl walked in. She turned the heads of every male in the vicinity, I heard Tony whistle and Angela mutter under her breath, "What's inside her shirt? Two watermelons, a few cars and a house? Must be where most of her brains went…" she got back to mopping the floor.

I really didn't pay the girl any mind until I noticed she was staring at me. I wasn't serving her, Andrew was, but the whole time she was looking at me like she wanted to… well… eat me. It was very unnerving and something I had never experienced before.

Before long, Angela approached, "Looks like Miss Boobs there loves you." She was grinning manically and waggling her eyebrows, I glared at her.

"She's just… I think she's observing how weird I am, she must be doing a paper on neurotic people."

"C'mon! Go to the girl! It's not like Rhon-"

"Don't say it," I snapped. Angela rolled her eyes.

"The girl you have been fawning over for years does not even notice you and now you have this overly hot, so not in your league girl, who may or may not be a bimbo, almost telling you with her eyes that she wants to dry-hump you like crazy and you are still contemplating whether to talk to Boobs babe?" she said.

I laughed at the absurdity of what she just said. "Fine. If it makes you and everybody happy, I'll go talk to the girl."

I didn't know it was possible but I think her grin grew even wider. I took a pitcher of water and strode towards the girl. Yes, strode.

She was really pretty. Gorgeous, actually. She had great green eyes, blonde hair that was past her shoulders and an inviting smile. Her exotic eyes weren't putting me off either. The fact that she wasn't my type was.

"Do you need more water?" I asked. I was actually nervous, this girl was just too pretty to be true. Girls like her don't stare at boys like me all night, they have better things to do than that.

"No, just you," she replied in a throaty voice that made my knees feel weak.

I felt my jaw slacken and my eyes just popped open. I didn't know what to say to her reply. She blinked coyly and giggled as she took a sip from her glass.

"I guess I was too direct. I'm Gwen by the way," she said while patting the seat next to hers.

I cleared my throat, "Uh, I really can't sit down, I'm at work."

An eyebrow rose, "Oh, what's your name?" Can't this girl read? My name was written on my nametag. Duh. I put my finger on it. "I know what's written there. I asked you what you're name is," she said calmly as she took another sip.

I gritted my teeth, she may be pretty but she really is annoying. "It's Thaddeus,"

"Thaddeus! What a lovely name!" she gasped, clasping her hands together.

Was this girl for real? A lovely name? What century did she live in?

"So, do you have any plans this Friday night?" she asked suggestively giving me _that _look. The one that made my stomach a bit queasy, still not sure why.

I didn't have any plans that Friday or any Friday of my life so I responded with a no. Bad mistake.

The second the "no" came out of my mouth she squealed and wrapped her arms around my neck. A girl I have never met before until that night hugged me for just saying no.

She let go of me (fortunately) and as she did I felt myself slowly inching myself away from her. Luckily, she didn't notice. "Will you go out with me?" she asked, sounding as if she's almost out of breath.

I nodded. I didn't want to make unpredictable actions come out of her. I was used to being the unpredictable one in every situation but this girl totally threw me off. It was like she was a whole new level. I wasn't even sure if that was good or bad.

"But how will w-" I started to say but then she put her index finger on my lips. O-kay. It was official. I have met my match. The craziest girl I've met that hasn't been sent to the asylum yet.

"Shh… I'll work out the details," she whispered as she looked me straight in the eye, our foreheads touching.

I was seeing double of her, almost getting dizzy. Then, with a wink and a peck on my cheek, she disappears through the doors of the pizzeria. I was left there so f***ing dumbfounded. Standing like an idiot while everyone looked at me.

I didn't even notice Tony coming from behind. He nudged my with his elbow, "I didn't know you're so good with the ladies." He laughed then went on his way to the kitchen.

I didn't know that either, Tony. I wanted to say but he already left. I was planning to play the new videogame I got but then… I have a date on Friday. Shit. What did I get into?


	6. CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SIX

ARNOLD

I don't know what happened, but for the past few weeks both Rhonda and Curly have been acting kind of odd. It worries me but then again none of them ever says a word about it no matter how many times I ask them. I knew something happened, everybody does, but I can't help them if I don't know what went on between them. I can only pray it doesn't get worse than it already is.

HELGA

Can the two of them just freaking get back to their Psycho and Victim routine? Seriously, this is getting pretty old. I mean, CRIMENY! The pathetic loser is just mooning in the corner of the classroom pretending he doesn't care what our "princess" gets up to. How pathetic. I actually feel kind of sorry for him. If he wasn't such a freak.

CURLY

The day that Rhonda talked to me, I acted as cold I could. No. I didn't act, I am cold. I don't really feel anything towards her anymore. I even have a date now. What is Rhonda Lloyd Wellington to me? Nothing, that's what. And I'd tell you another thing, I HATE HER. Seriously, I do. Why have I never noticed it before? Alright I won't lie, I have noticed it before. That bitch is incredibly self-centered. I used to think she was just confident and it was part of her appeal now I just find that she really gets on my freaking nerves.

I know, she is suppose to be nothing to me right now but it's hard not to think about her when I'm so angry with her that I want to throttle her.

So, today was the day that we were supposed to do this tutoring thing, I tried to find her and I had difficulty doing it. Finally, I spotted her in what the youth call "_The_ Lawn" where most of the popular kids hang out. She was in there sitting with Nadine and Lila, in the middle of it. It being the lawn.

I gulped nervously as I eyed her, she was too engrossed with her conversation with our classmates to notice the psychotic geek at the side lines of The Lawn. There is one thing all losers, I don't really count myself as one of them but apparently it is not my choice, should know about The Lawn, they could never step on it. Not. A. Single. Toe. It was for popular kids only. I realize that this is grossly unfair but we, losers, have no say because The Rules has also been the same for every batch of students that have gone through those great (vomit) high school doors.

But then again, I'm no ordinary loser. I am Thaddeus Gammelthorpe. The rejected outcast, considered to be the one who will most likely shoot the students in the school with a stolen handgun. I admit that sometimes what people can think up are even crazier than what I think of. Did they really think I'd do that? No! Of course not. I'll choose a chainsaw instead of a gun to kill my fellow classmates. Geez, people, guns are way to blasé.

I stepped on the freshly cut grass to talk to Rhonda so we can finally arrange this stupid tutoring thing. I saw the shocked eyes and heard the protests only to be shushed by their friends. They know the deal, don't provoke the crazy guy. I sneered at them, they cowered behind their notebooks. I smiled, this is going great. I continued my way to the three females when Rhonda, it may be because the whole lawn is now silent, looked up and we locked eyes. I saw one of hers twitch. I snorted. If she doesn't want to see me, the more I don't want to see her. Does she think I don't have better things to do? Actually… that's kind of right. I had nothing to do today but that's not the point! I could have used that time to clean my room or eat peanut butter… or watch paint dry! It's still better than having to see her.

By the time I reached her, The Lawn had continued with their idle chit-chat while the conversation between the girls had stopped. Lila, the only sweet and innocent girl in existence, I think, smiled at me and asked politely, "Hi Thaddeus! What are you doing here? Are you also enjoying the ever so wonderful afternoon?"

Sadly no, Lila, I'll be spending it with a girl who wants absolutely nothing to do with me whom I was in love with my entire life. I didn't say that though, even I wasn't that mean to innocent girls like Lila who thinks that the world is full of flying unicorns and shit like that. She probably loves movies that my little cousin adores like The Enchanted Bunnies of Happy Forest.

Instead, like the well-bred gentleman that I am I say, "It is a wonderful afternoon, Lila."

Then _she _had to cut in, "What the hell do you want dweeb?"

I turned to her. Really, this was the girl I was in love with? Sure, she's beautiful but, I feel like she sort of despise me. Nope, she really despises me. Even if I am over her, which I am, I hope just the tiniest bit that she doesn't hate me so much. "To talk to you, surprisingly, not that I'm interested in anything you have to say."

I couldn't believe it, she gasped and after that started sputtering. "I-I, you! I beg your pardon!" she grabbed my arm and was almost going to drag me across The Lawn when she turned to her friends in a chirpy voice, "See you guys later!" The cheerfulness was probably just for show. She dragged my ass to a secluded corner while I felt the eyes of our peers digging onto my back. "What is it?" she snapped.

I played it cool like I did before. No way will I let her see that I'm actually bothered by her behaviour. I said coolly, "This is about me tutoring you."

She raised an eyebrow that was supposed to imply, "So?"

I sighed. "It's today."

"No way, I have cheerleading practice today. I'm not going to some stupid tutoring thing that will pro-"

"You have no choice in this matter," I said as calmly as I could again. My hand started to itch again, I felt like I wanted to burn something.

"Are you blackmailing me? Seriously, this is not the fourth grade where y-!"

"First of all, Rhonda, shut up. Second of all, I'm not blackmailing you. The school said you have to start today. You're failing Math, Rhonda it's time to be serious."

She rolled her eyes and put on a passive expression but behind that I could see that she cared about her grades. It was as if she was trying to hide her weakness and for that one time, the only time, I saw Rhonda's vulnerable state. It rocked me to my core. The magic disappeared when she spoke.

"Like you give a shit about my grades?" she snorted, putting her hands to her hips. "Listen here, you slimy piece of ick," she pointed at me with her brows furrowed, I tried to appear bored, "I am not doing this tutoring thing with you ever so like I said before, leave me alone!" Her voice got higher with every word and I tried harder to seem unaffected and I guess it worked because she got angrier and growled before stomping down the hallway. I laughed, she looked like a gorilla that I used to watch in the zoo.

Before she rounded off the corner, I said something that stopped her. "You know I don't give a shit whether you continue failing until you get kicked off from your precious cheering squad. But then again, without cheerleading, what would Miss Wellington do?" I said sweetly, too sweetly just to piss her off.

She turned, slowly, with a horrified expression. "Who told you that?"

"About what?" I said innocently.

She scratched her head, frustrated. "Who told you about that?" she quietly said which was actually quite scarier than her screaming her head off.

"Nobody. I figured it out myself," I shrugged and she shook her head as if she really can't believe what the hell is happening.

Then, Rhonda did something she hardly ever does, she never did it to me. She begged. She looked at me with her pretty eyes, grabbed my shoulder, sighed and whispered, "You cannot, you cannot! I mean it! Tell anybody, anybody at all, about this. Got it?" I stared back at those pleading eyes and I couldn't handle it. I turned away. I nodded and I heard her sigh again, this time though, it was in relief.

"It's not as if you having a tutor is _that_ interesting," I said, finding myself able to look at her again seeing her nod in agreement and her face full of relief.

"I just don't want people to know," she let go of me and became standoffish again. I almost smiled fondly. Almost.

I realized Rhonda was observing me so I got my I'm-so-bored expression back when she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. After thinking it over, she shrugged like she was shrugging a thought in her mind too. I know enough about Rhonda's body language to know that she's confused. Confused about what? I don't know.

"Let's go," she finally said after watching me. It was odd and not to mention, it was staring to turn me on, that fact probably had something to do with my raging male hormones. You can't blame me! Males are slaves to their sex drives.

"Where are we going?"

"To my house. Duh. We're taking my car."

I followed her. Good. Now both of us are pissed and now she's taking me to her house which better be a conducive place for learning. Now we're both in hell, all I wanted to do is get this over and done with.


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER SEVEN

FROM A THIRD PERSPECTIVE

The ride was silent. Nobody dared to talk because of the threat of one of them just suddenly exploding. Curly was uncomfortable inside such an expensive car. It was too clean too. It was begging to be dirtied. It's as if Rhonda asks the hired help to clean the car inside and out after every drive. It wasn't impossible, Miss High and Mighty probably does that. It is so her.

Rhonda clucked her tongue as she swerved through the old neighborhood. They even passed by her old house, the one they almost lost when her family became bankrupt and she had to stay in Arnold's boarding house.

She had not much to say about the state of the boarding house, it was the people and the feel of the place. Even if she only stayed there for awhile, it was one of the homeliest places she had ever been. The kind of place she wished she had instead of living in a mansion that felt lifeless and devoid of any emotion.

She chanced a glanced at Curly who was pretending to be busy staring out the car window. He seemed irritated that they were sharing the same air. The feeling was mutual. Rhonda saw the light turn from green to yellow to red. On instinct, she suddenly pressed on the brake and the car halted with a sudden jerk.

Curly almost flew through the glass if it wasn't for the seatbelt. He gave Rhonda a glare that could seriously decapitate. She just shrugged. "It turned red."

"Uh huh," he replied, unconvinced.

"So, what do you exactly plan to do with me?" Rhonda asked as she stepped on the gas again when traffic got moving.

_Loads and loads of unspeakable things. _

Curly cleared his throat, "I first thought we should get started on algebra seems that's what I think-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, all I hear is me studying things that I do not ever have to use. Ever! It's like a snake having to learn how to hop! Totally unnecessary!" she screamed as she gave someone who overtook her the finger. Very unusual behavior for Rhonda, Curly observed, she was really on the edge.

"You need to learn that if you need to graduate."

She muttered under her breathe something Curly couldn't hear. He smiled then shook his head. She wasn't suppose to affect him this way anymore. It was unnerving how the way she can mesmerize him seems like it's never going away.

"We're here," she announced, got out of the car and slammed the door. Piercing eyes glared at him through the glass, Rhonda mouthed madly, "Let's go."

Curly blinked. Where was he? Buckingham Palace? Rhonda had parked the car in front of a huge mansion. It was a mansion that could be a setting for most of the gothic, horror novels he reads. He got out of the car to inspect the house some more, it was quite a sight. He would have liked it if there were vines crawling up the walls and some shrubs and bushes at the sides that were unkempt. It was too clean, to pristine. He frowned and thought about what a shame this house is not living up to its full potential.

Rhonda watched Curly's reaction to the house. He was not staring at it in awe like most of her friends when they first saw the mansion. In fact, he seemed not impressed at all. She couldn't help but develop a small amount of something like respect for someone who did not think much of extravagance and the flaunting of wealth. Someone who still valued substance over style, not that she was that sort of person, it was just nice to know that there were people in this world who were not like her. Different. If it wasn't Curly, she'd even say she admired this trait of his. Of course, however due to the circumstances, she would not.

"For the last time, move it! Urgh, I can't believe the things I have to put up with!" she grumbled as she got up the steps and the great big oak doors opened for her. A girl with black hair and warm brown eyes greeted them with enthusiasm.

"Good afternoon, ma'am!" she turned to Curly, "Hello! You are?"

Curly became flustered and stammered out a reply. Rhonda rolled her eyes and retorted, "He's unimportant. Where are my parents?"

The maid's, Elsa's, enthusiasm did not waver and she told Curly, "It's nice to meet you!" Which made the boy blush, in turn one Rhonda's perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose. Elsa then faced Rhonda and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, they are not here yet. You're father is still at work and your mother is in the country club. After that, she said she is going to be attending a party and your father said he might be working over time."

None of this better Rhonda's mood, she just nodded and swallowed the hurt she felt every time she was abandoned. She was lucky Curly did not see. He was busy looking at the interior of the house.

She tried to imagine what it was like to be in his shoes, being in a house that could make anyone feel poor. The exquisite golden and cream striped wallpaper that covered the wall, the big, crystal chandelier that was hanging in the middle of the hall and the floor made of white Italian marble. It was too much. It felt like they were showing off, her whole family flaunting their wealth, at that moment a wave of shame washed over her and it was not nice. Definitely something she did not want to wash over her again.

Curly's eyes took in the surroundings, it was a sight to see. A rich man's world. Like that ABBA song.

He followed Rhonda upstairs after giving Elsa a smile which she returned. The second storey was different than the first. The floor instead of marble was carpeted in red and the walls were pure white. Family portrait hang on the walls but the one that caught his eye and made him release air through his nose was the one in between the two tall, glass paned windows.

Framed with gold, it was a picture of a girl sitting on a plush sofa. Her eyes tilted upwards at the sides in an inviting way, her red lips curved upwards in a way that made it seems she knew something that mere mortals do not and with her lustrous hair piled atop her head in a stylish manner, she made a really beautiful picture. She was wearing a red, silk dress that complemented everything. The effect was the picture's ability to stop anyone and make them look at it. Her posture was regal, her chin parallel to the floor, it showed pride and a courage to face anything that anyone will throw her way.

Curly's head swam, he realized it was from the lack of oxygen. He breathed in loads. He needed it, the air. And felt good when it finally filled his lungs.

The girl in picture, the one anyone would have thought was a royal, a beautiful princess… It was Rhonda.

He smiled bitterly. She still had that power over him. Hmm. Some things never changed, maybe they never will.

When he heard her voice telling him to hurry up, he shook his head to brush off all the thoughts that were starting to creep up again. All the feelings that were starting fill him again with such force. Curly gritted his teeth, he'll be damned if he let things become that way again.

So when he reached the room and found Rhonda there, he knew what he had to do now. The challenge that was right before him. He was not aware how many problems this tutoring program will spring in front of him. Now he does, he has to prevent himself from falling in love with her again because looking at what happened just now, he was in severe danger of doing so.

…

Curly was quiet when he joined her in the study room created specifically for her. She informed him that the study room was in fact hers which made him laugh after commenting she has her own study room but her grades are so damn low. She did not appreciate that comment.

Although after that, it was as if he was just focused on getting through the session. Gone was the anger and frustration he showed her when they were in school. It was like they were just acquaintances hanging out in a study room, one of them teaching the other algebra and the other struggling to learn.

Rhonda did have cheer practice but Coach knew she had tutoring session so she's covered. The cheer practice was just excuse so that she doesn't have to be stuck with her ex-stalker. Maybe she was reluctant to do this because it was him who had to teach her but if it meant she get to stay in the cheer squad then it just means to an end, isn't it? Now, she was going to do this thing even if it kills her. Whatever it takes to remain popular and cheerleading is certainly needed to stay on top of the high school food chain.

However, after an hour or so… "I'm never going to get this stupid thing! Just feed me to the sharks or something to end my misery! Argh!" she screamed in frustration after breaking a pencil in half then slamming her head against the desk.

With extreme patience that Rhonda did not know Curly had, "It's understandable. I only wanted to test what you know so now I can teach you the basics and focus on what you are weak in. You'll soon get it."

Even with her black hair covering her face, Rhonda was sure Curly could see the I'm-not-buying-the-bullshit-you're-selling look on her face.

He sighed and rubbed his temples, "This wouldn't happen if you paid attention in class instead of sexting the boys you were with during Mr. Reynolds' class."

Bitterly, she spat, "Ha ha. And when the hell did you use the term sexting?"

"I just wanted to get it out of my system since it's all I hear from everybody's lips."

"Right," she dragged on the word to point out that was so the answer she was looking for.

She blew the hair from her face. From her peripheral vision she knew Curly was watching her, she'd master this trick from all the encounters with him but this time when he's watching her, it does not seem to bother her that much. This was what was odd. It's like there was no more feeling of ickiness when his eyes find her. Rhonda did not like it, she needed to be creeped out at anything Curly does or it's not normal.

"If you're done whining maybe we can continue?" he asked, his eyes still on her. Even behind those glasses, they glowed.

Rhonda felt a shiver go down her spine. What was that? Was that normal? The sensation shocked her and at the same time, it was exhilarating. She cleared her throat before she replied, "Sure, you're the one who knows what to do."

"Let's see, you've got questions 3, 5 and 9 correct," he commented.

Rhonda beamed.

"You go the other 97 questions wrong," he finished. Rhonda rolled her eyes again, all this eye rolling at him is making her dizzy.

"So now I'm supposed to know everything? I thought you're here to teach me the things I don't know!" she said focusing on the spot the stained her desk. She did not want to see his reaction. Didn't he know it was frustrating for her too to not know these things when most of her classmates can do it in their sleep? Even Stinky freaking Peterson knew how to do Algebra! She doesn't want to be a laughingstock so she kept to herself that she was, what she thinks is, mathematically impaired.

"No, I didn't say that," he said dryly as he continued to work on the solutions.

"But you were judging me!"

"No, I wasn't. I was merely stating how much you got for the test I gave you. Now can we get back to what we're supposed to be doing in the first place?" he asked with slight irritation on his tone. Rhonda could sense his patience is wearing thin.

"Fine," she finally said and they worked for an hour without talking so much. It suited Rhonda. It suited Curly. And that was that.

…

RHONDA

My head was starting to spin from all the problems I have finally solved. I felt a sense of achievement as I stretched my arms and tried to work on the kink on my back. I smiled. I hated to say it, but Curly was a superb tutor. He maybe a creepy psycho but he really knows how to teach.

In a matter of an hour, he made me understand the basics of algebra and not only that, we also went through the homework, Mr. Reynolds' assigned work. I felt like celebrating. It was only Friday and I have already finished like half of my homework, now I only have to work on the English essay for Ms. Pattera.

I looked over at him, the first time I felt truly grateful that he was there, he helped me. He was already packing his things. "Do you want to eat? I mean, it's kind of late so I can just drive you home too since you probably left your bike at school."

"No, I didn't leave anything. I took the bus this morning," he said again without really saying anything else. Okay. He did not want to talk to me. I understand. I did break his heart but that was like a few weeks ago. Surely he is over that?

"I was just thinking since it's Friday, maybe you wouldn't mind… Nevermind, you obviously don't want to spend more time with me than necessary, I get it, but at least let me drive you home." What I said was logical, since our neighborhood wasn't exactly one that has a bus stop in every corner. Everybody here has a car and it's an awfully long walk to the city so I'm offering. He should accept while I'm still being grateful and he still has not done anything to creep me out.

"No, it's fine," he said rushing to the door I stopped him by blocking his way.

"I insist," I said through gritted teeth. Can't this guy take a hint? Obviously not, since I have told him to leave me alone for many years and he has only stopped a few weeks ago. Now I'm offering him a car ride since I'm being so thankful for his mad tutoring skills and he's refusing? If there is one thing that he should have learnt from all those years of worshipping me, it's that nobody says no to Rhonda Lloyd.

He heaved a sigh of irritation that felt hot against my face. "Okay, Rhonda." He emphasized on the Rhonda and I laughed and for a second, I thought he was about to laugh too, at the ridiculousness of this but his face remained stern.

I was nearly disappointed, nearly. Why should I care? This is Curly for crying out loud! So I dragged him down the stairs, told Elsa I won't be late and threw him into the car without protest.

"So, where are we headed?" I asked.

He looked at me as if I was dumb. "To my house."

"Duh! Of course I know we're heading to your house, I just don't know where you're house is!" I said as we passed by the mansion's gates.

"You know where it is Rhonda, the drycleaner's near the old burger place."

Reluctantly, I nodded. I remembered where it is now. I had been there before. Fourth grade. Lots of things happened in fourth grade, probably one of the best years of my life. Except for the fact that Curly was so hardcore crazy back then I had to watch every move I make. Or maybe he was the one watching it for me. All I know was that there were some really crazy things that happened in the fourth grade.

"Yeah, I know where it is," I said in case he didn't see me nod. He was staring out the window again. He really didn't want to make conversation. That's fine with me too. I was busy reliving my childhood through memories. I tried to grasp something but I couldn't really fully remember what happened. I let it go.

We were both quiet. Not for the lack of things to say, none of us are shy and there are definitely plenty of things to discuss, but because we chose not to say anything. The silence in the car wasn't peaceful, it was full of tension. Full of unspoken words that should be said now and I realized he was not going to start. If he wasn't, then I'm game.

"So… You know that night when…" I let it hang in the air since I couldn't continue.

"Yeah," he replied, fully aware of what I was talking about but still not removing his gaze from the side window. The lights played patterns on his face that made him appear even more serious. I struggled to find the right words.

"I actually, I- um. Okay. I really, well, I wanted to apologize, some of the things I said they wer-" I started to say but he cut me off with one word.

"Bullshit," he said harshly, his eyes still fixed on the other cars that zoomed pass us.

"Excuse me?" I asked with my voice rising. What else did he want?

"You heard me. You didn't mean to apologize. If you did you would have done it already instead of talking about doing it." I hated that he wouldn't look at me and I could only see half of his face. It was unfair, he probably could see my expression by watching my reflection on the glass.

I admit. I was not going to apologize so I nodded but figured he wouldn't see so I spoke up, afraid that he'd notice the wobble on my voice, "Alright, I did not meant to apologize but you have to understand that I sa-"

"I understand," he cut me off again, this time I didn't mind. He said with it such pain that I knew he understood. It made me swallow whatever it was making me feel choked up because I did not want to cry again.

He understands I did not want him around.

Somehow that's harder for me to accept than when he did not understand I did not want him around. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was so used to him being around that it didn't even matter anymore.

My hands shook as I gripped the steering wheel tighter and he announced that we were nearly there. I inhaled and exhaled like all the other times when I knew I was going to lose my shit. I shouldn't have started this conversation. It was just affecting both of us badly. What's in the past should remain in the past, no reason to dig up all the bad memories and feelings. Even if the past I was speaking of only happened a few weeks ago.

I saw the old burger shop at the corner, or what used to be the burger shop. I remembered Arnold's house was around here too. The house that was far cozier and homely than our big, empty mansion. The boarding house that made me wish I lived in a home instead of a house.

I stopped the car in front of the drycleaners. I heard the click when Curly opened the door, I wanted to stop him because we were not finished talking but then I saw him head towards a blonde, buxom girl who seem to know him very well. He looked shocked to see her as if this was a rare visit but then again, how rare could these visits be if she's holding onto him like she's going to fall off a cliff if she doesn't grab onto something.

I got out of the car and approached the happy girl and the confused-looking boy and all that came out was, "Who the hell is this girl?"

I swear I didn't mean for it to come out that way, I don't know why it did.


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHT

CURLY

"Who the hell is this girl?" Rhonda screeched as she saw what's-her-name with her arms around me.

I'm serious, I forgot what her name was. She was beaming at me with her perfect white teeth gleaming and her body so close that her breasts are mashed up against me but I still can't, for the love of all things hot, remember what her name was.

Not that I'm complaining, this is my first ever encounter with breasts up close and I am male teenager so…

I did not even know Rhonda got out of the car, I thought after her disastrous way of striking up a conversation with me was over she'd want to get out of here as fast as she can. It turns out I'm wrong. Rhonda obviously just love awkward conversations between us since she asked who is the girl-currently-clinging-to-me's name. I would answer her if I knew.

"My date," I replied. It seems the safest since a.) I don't know her name and b.) I really don't know her name. Really. I want to remember but I can't.

Girl-whose-name-I-can't-remember giggled like I just said the funniest thing in the world, she slapped my chest and cooed, "Silly you! I think she was asking for my name!" She turned to Rhonda who already had a scowl on her face while her feet tapped against the pavement. In a really friendly tone she introduced herself. "I'm Gwen! I go to Ridgefield High, you know, near th-"

"Yeah," Ronda cut her off, taking the hand Gwen (finally I remember her name!) held out. "I'm Rhonda," she said dryly exuding boredom and the urge to rather be somewhere else. What the hell is her problem? She's the one who out of the car and decided to talk to us. If she's so rich, why the hell can't she at least afford some manners?

"Oh! Oh my gosh! You're Rhonda Lloyd! You're the heiress!" Gwen laughed. "You're so pretty in person! Really! I assure you, those pictures in the magazines do you no justice."

"Thank you," Rhonda said with a smile that did not reach her eyes. "I have to go though, I only drove Cur-" I shot her a look, "I mean, Thaddeus back home."

Gwen looked at Rhonda then at me then back at Rhonda again. "You guys are friends?" she asked with uncertainty, her pretty green eyes innocently blinking at us.

Rhonda gave me a glare and replied with as much contempt as she can put into her tone, "No. We're just classmates. We had to work on a project together so… Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Gwen. Thaddeus. I have to get home, it's getting pretty late." She gave us one final smile, the fake one that didn't reach her eyes and walked towards her car.

I turned to Gwen and said, "Can you wait here for awhile? I just have to say something to Rhonda before she leaves."

"Sure!" she gleefully answers.

I left her behind and jogged towards Rhonda. I tapped her back just before she entered her car. She turned back, wide-eyed.

"What the hell was that?" I snapped in a low voice so Gwen will not hear.

"What the hell was what, Curly?" she bit back with the same tenacity. The fury in her eyes was unmistakable but I did not understand why she was so angry.

"Back there, acting all bitchy towards a girl you haven't even met before! What the hell did she ever do to you? And why did you get out of the car? I thought you went home," I said.

Rhonda looked away, like she doesn't even want to talk to me but she is freaking mistaken if she thinks she can get away doing what she did without answering my questions.

She sighed. Finally, she faced me, her hazel eyes pinning me to where I was standing. "I'm sorry, okay? I guess I was just shocked and tired. You're right, Gwen didn't deserve that. She seems like a sweet girl." This time, when she smiled, it was real but it was strange, in a way that even I could not articulate.

"I think she is," I said unsure.

"Good. You, uh, go enjoy you're date?" she stated it like it was a question. "Uh, I have to go to, em, you know… Home."

I nodded. She didn't need to explain. She understood.

"Goodbye," she said hurriedly.

She waved a goodbye at Gwen who waved back madly and then she glanced at me one last time. That was when I realized why she got out of the car. She didn't want to be alone.

There was nobody at her house.

Rhonda got into her expensive car, slammed the door and sped away into the night leaving only a cloud of smoke. It was like she was never in front of me. I blinked, just to make sure that she was really not there anymore. She wasn't.

The last glance she gave me, I didn't want to admit it but… it broke my heart all over again.

This thing going on between us, it really had to stop. I guess it will be hard, there is a connection that will always be there and I guess that's my fault for forcing her all the time to endure my company. However, no matter how hard it is, we need to stop. It only hurts us both.

I need to stop watching her from the corner of my eyes. I still do that in school. I need to stop worrying about, like I did just now, whether there's someone at home to keep her company. I need to stop thinking that this is just a phase, that she will realize I'm the guy for her and we will live happily ever after together because every night, every single night, I still dream that.

We were never meant to be. This is the hard fact. Even if I push myself on her, we will never be.

I'm not the only one who needs to stop either. She's going to have to stop too. She's going to have to stop feeling sorry for me every time she pushes me away. She's going to have to stop looking for me when she is lonely and has nobody else. She's going have to stop looking at me with those eyes because when she looks at me with those eyes… I forget everything and I feel like anything is possible, that maybe someday, hopefully, it will still be us. And that's a lie. That's a dream that will never come true. Unattainable.

Gwen's voice pierced through my thoughts and I welcomed the intrusion.

"So… Are we going on our date or are we just going to stand here all night?" she yelled cheerfully behind me.

I pasted a smile on my face before I faced her. "Of course not, let's go, Madame!" I walked towards her and held out an arm. I'm really good at acting, I can make it appear like I'm really having the time of my life when I'm actually suffering inside. The pain of losing Rhonda was back. I thought the weeks had made me numb, it turns out I only took a painkiller and now I've ran out of it.

But then again did I really lose Rhonda? How do you lose something that wasn't yours in the first place?

Gwen clapped her hands together, her face lit up and she said, out of breath, "Qui, monsieur!" Her happiness was just making me more miserable.


	9. CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER NINE

RHONDA

Wouldn't you know it? I'm bawling my eyes out again as I sped through the streets, passing by familiar places and faces that are blurred by my tears. I tried to figure out why I'm crying again but I really can't. My brain tries to scramble out an answer. Anything.

What am I crying for? Is it because of everything? Because my parents are never there when they should be? Because most of the time I feel so alone? Because there is always that empty void inside me that I'm afraid I'd never fill? Or is it because of… _Curly_.

I should have known he'd survive without me. He's like that, he always bounces back. Whatever life throws at him, he can take it. And I am happy. Happy that he has moved on. Happy that he will not pester me again. Happy, just so so happy… And yet, I feel like there is missing part of me now that will be gone forever. Him.

Funny. I laughed as I cried, nearing our mansion. He was always there to admire me, always there to adore me and now that he is not, it just feels wrong. Like there is a missing color in a painting. The painting may look complete, seem perfect and people may actually pay for generous amounts for it, but it just really doesn't feel right and you know there's something not there that you can't put your finger on. Something missing.

Missing.

He is with another girl now. One that he seems to like, not someone who he is obsessed with. And I'm glad he found someone. I really am. Very glad.

That's what I tried to tell myself as the tears flew and I braked the car in our garage. I turned off the motor but I didn't get out. I just stared into space. What is happening to me? Am I finally losing it? What is this feeling called, this mixture of sadness, disappointment and regret?

Do I miss Curly?

Do I even enjoy Curly's company?

And why am I sitting here in my car, stationary while I ponder this, while I think about him and how his date must be going and I guess, how I'd love to join them. They must be having fun. He must have something planned. A boy like him always does. I smiled even though my cheeks were still wet and my nose too.

Curly always does think ahead. Curly. Psh. I guess it's Thaddeus now, isn't it?

But I whispered the nickname I so very much loathed when we were younger, trying to hold onto what was left. "Curly…"

It sounded strange coming from my lips. It sounded weak as I struggled to get it out of my mouth. Then I said again, "Curly…"

This time it sounded firm and there was desperation to it and I realized, I wanted him to hear it. That I should have said it before he went with her. That I should have stopped him so we could talk some more and I could have apologized even if I thought I wasn't going to and he would still be with me while we would be probably eating ice cream from Slausen's and he would be giving sarcastic or just random remarks that would amuse me… and I… Well, I…

I don't have to face an empty house filled with hired help that are already in bed.

I don't have to go up to my room where I know I will stare at the ceiling, tossing, turning, trying to make sense when did my life turn upside down.

I could only think of that time, that night… when what I did to him was so heartless and it must have been so painful that the guilt nagged at me but I chose to ignore.

I now know the feeling, what he felt when I saw his eyes through his bangs. It must be what I'm feeling right now. This feeling, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I keep calling it this feeling because I don't know what it's called. I've never experienced it before and that makes me so unbelievably shallow and at the same time, so innocent or ignorant because with all my flirting and countless ex boyfriends I, I have never experienced love before.

The type that makes people do crazy things like jump off buildings, sacrifice their lives, jump half-naked in the middle of someone date carrying a plastic sword… Curly was really in love with me…

With me. Rhonda Lloyd. Me. I. You know, the girl with the black hair who is almost having a nervous break down in her car.

Holy shit.

This is depressing. How do I respond to this.

This is really kind of a shock. Not just kind of, it really is a shock.

There was almost a hum of something electric the coursed through me making me bolt out of my car door and upstairs to my bedroom. I headed to for the bottom drawer of my dresser. The one where I kept most of what Curly gave me.

I threw flowers away of course, they die quickly and I didn't want questions from people. I kept notes and letters, pictures. I just never looked at them. I couldn't bear to throw them either, so I kept them hidden. Locked away in a drawer for no one to see. Even me.

The key was under the dresser so I grabbed at the floor and felt for the cold metal. I got it quickly, opened the locker and the letters from all those year flew out. I was not about to get sentimental. I opened this drawer for a reason.

I grabbed a piece of paper that had his number on it. Actually, all of them had his number on them. I laughed. It was a loud laugh, anyone who passed by my door would have probably thought I was the crazy one.

I got up and ran to the telephone. I needed to talk to him.

My hands trembled as I dialed the number. I pressed the last one, waiting for the ringing sound. Just waiting.

It rang, but no one was answering.

I redialed about two times more before somebody answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Rhonda. Cur- Thaddeus'…" What am I to him? I go with the safest one, "Classmate. And I was wondering whe-"

"Oh! Rhonda! Ms. Lloyd, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I cautiously replied to the woman on the other side.

"I'm Thaddeus' mom. I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now, he's on a date. However, I can pass him a message. What is it you called for, dear?"

I panicked. What is it I called for? To talk to him, I guess. But obviously calling his house was stupid, I knew he wasn't there. I should have called his cell.

"Nah, it's just about some project that we have to do," I lied and surprisingly enough convinced Curly's mom. I could tell she was the kind of parent who took care of her child herself and did not leave it to the nanny.

She sounded concerned about me even though I've never met her. She was an Arnold kind of person. Truly kind ones that sometimes may come across as gullible.

"Oh, okay. That is all? Is there anything else, Rhonda?" Okay, I take that back. Maybe she's not that convinced.

"No, just please tell him I called. Goodbye Mrs. Gammelthorpe," I said with as much nonchalance and happiness I could muster.

"Goodnight Rhonda dear, I hope to meet you someday. Thaddeus does tell a lot of great stories about you. I wish one day you could come for dinner!"

Uh, yeah. I don't think that will happen considering your son hates my guts.

But I replied a cheerful, "Of course, I would love to," and both of us hung up.

I lay back on my soft bed, staring at the ceiling again. I knew as I tapped my lamp to turn it off that this is going to be a sleepless night.


	10. CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER TEN

STINKY

I've have lived for sixteen years and I have never seen anything stranger than what I'm seeing right now. It was that odd boy Curly… with a hot, young thing who made all the men in the diner stand at attention.

I nudged Sid as he was sitting right next to me, just to make sure, "Willikers! Is that really Curly, Sid?"

Poor Sid, didn't even knew what was goin' on. He looked up from his milkshake, startled. "Huh? Where?" He turned until he saw them. Boy, I tell you, his jaw almost fell to the floor and his eyes popped out like that lizard in one of the pictures Mr. Simmons showed us when we were in the fourth grade. "Holy- ! Who is that babe?"

I shrugged. "I figured she might be new here, ne'er saw her before." I bit my burger as I was still quite hungry since we all just came back from dropping water balloons at Arnold. He didn't like that at all. It was Sid's idea anyway.

"She's smoking!" Sid said before he whistled.

"I don't think so, I don't see a cigarette with her," I replied as I scratched my head.

"No! I meant she's hot!" Sid said through the corner of his mouth as Curly and the girl took a seat at the corner booth.

"Well, I'm sure the air-conditioning in here should cool her down," I said and took another bite of my tasty burger.

Sid stopped staring at them and turned to me, rolling his eyes. "What I really meant is that she's pretty. Good-looking. Beautiful. One fine-ass babe that I wouldn't mind taking to dinner but the question is; why is she with Curly?"

I tried to think of an answer to that one. All I knew was that girls were complicated. I did not want to bother about them as much as I do not want to do homework. They were too hard to figure out. Take for example Helga Geraldine Pataki, that is really one complex girl. In the past, I used to carry a torch for her and sometimes I still think about her but the times I think about her became lesser as the years passed by.

"Stinky?" Sid asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah, Sid?" I asked back.

Sid smiled, I could already see he had a plan, "I'm going over there."

"What? I'm sure the miss is enjoying her date with Curly," I said. Maybe not everybody likes the chap but he certainly is interesting. It was no secret that after puberty Curly actually became better looking and a few of the girls in our school talk about him. What drove them away was his intense love for Miss Rhonda Lloyd. Speaking of which, why is Curly on a date? Isn't this going to upset Ms. Lloyd?

"Are you kidding me? She looks like she's pleading for a rescue!" Sid sighed as he looked at their table again.

"I don't think you should do that, Sid." I looked at their table, they haven't noticed us yet but I bet they'd notice Sid interrupting their (what looks to be) a date. If anyone asked me, I'd say Curly is the one who looks like he wanted to be rescued, not the girl. Although she is a definite looker, I can tell that they just don't match, unlike peanut butter and jelly.

"That's it! I'm going over there. She needs help. I can sense it," Sid said confidently.

"Sid! No!" I yelled out and tried to grab his arm but it was too late! He approached them. The girl glared up at Sid. I followed him just to prevent him from getting into trouble.

"Hey, I was wondering whether you like-" Sid was cut off by the girl giving him a deadly look. I took a step back.

"Can't you see I'm on a date?" she said coldly. Curly looked up, finally noticing Sid. He smiled and it was, very, very strange. Curly never smiles. Unless Rhonda is around, of course.

Sid did not know what to say, I almost pulled him out of there before Curly said ,"Hi Sid, Stinky."

Sid and I looked at each other, we'd never been friends with Thaddeus. It was again strange that he was greeting us.

We said a hello back quickly and left the diner as fast as we could because Sid was very embarrassed and I also felt embarrassed for Sid. We left them behind, the girl burning our back with her stare and Curly seemingly disappointed that Sid did not interrupt the date further.


	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CURLY

I was almost bored out of mind by the time we reached the diner. I smiled and laughed at the right times and this only encouraged her to talk and talk and talk more about herself. She could not stop beaming. It was very unnerving. I just wanted her to shut up so I could deal with my thoughts and go home. But sadly no, I was raised a gentleman and I am going to be a gentleman. It was already embedded in me to treat every lady with respect. I don't know how much longer I could treat Gwen with respect though. I might just lose it while we order the food or as we're walking home or at any minute actually. My episodes are usually unexpected and suddenly just pop up.

When we enter the diner near my house I felt like I already have known Gwen for a long time, and I certainly did not mean that as a compliment. She loves pink, her favourite singer is Britney Spears because she is such an inspiration and she just loves cherry bomb lip gloss because when she kisses someone, it stays on her lips.

You see? Those are things I did not really want to know even if Gwen and I were already married and have kids but let just get this straight: We are only on our first date. And judging by the way things are going, the only date we'll ever have.

Gwen dragged me through the door and the smell of greasy, oily food mixed with ketchup and sweat immediately hit my nose. When we entered, it was as if all the men in the vicinity stopped what they were doing, turned to our direction and stared with drool hanging from their mouths at Gwen. They all did this in perfect synchrony. I was impressed.

I wonder how often Gwen comes here and if all these men knew her or her hotness just basically turned on the radar of every male within a 500 mile radius to pinpoint her exact location. I'm betting on the latter.

Even though she was a total bore and was too happy for my taste, I actually felt a sense of pride that she was with me. For the first time, Thaddeus had a date that was so beautiful, it made everyone envious. Actually, for the first time, Thaddeus had a date. Period.

You'd think I'd be more ecstatic that I have a date since I'm always alone and nobody wants me while I'm pining for a girl who didn't give a shit about me. But no, I actually felt disappointed. What's the big deal about this? We were basically just eating together, right? I do it with my friends all the time. Or I would do it with my friends all the time if I had any friends.

We sat down at the corner booth because Gwen insisted she did not want to be disturbed. I thought, 'Well, Gwen, we should not have gone to a diner then, where everybody is so busy staring at you that not even a corner booth will help.' But that's just my opinion, which apparently does not matter since now I'm in Gwen's world.

She sat down and I just watched as her breasts bounced and almost popped out of her tight t-shirt.

Gwen smiled at me, "Soooo, what would you like?"

What would I like? Should I tell her the truth? That I want to get the hell out of here? That would be probably ill-advised. Not very gentlemanly at all so instead I just smiled thinly and replied calmly, "Whatever you're having."

Gwen threw her hands up in the air and squealed. Squealed, I tell you. In the middle of the diner, well, the corner, but that's not the point. Doesn't she know that any sort of movement makes her incredibly massive boobs jiggle? Probably not. I sensed the salivary glands of the men around us working overtime.

"Oh, Thaddeus! You are soooo accommodating! Soooo unlike my other boyfriends!" she said then she realised what she blurted out and quickly added, "I meant my exes! My ex-boyfriends, of course." She sipped water from the straw as she waited for the big, red-headed lady wearing a pink apron approach us, her cheeks pink. She smiled shyly at me.

I nodded, like it was no big deal but all I thought about was how I soooo wanted to spend my Friday night somewhere else. Why do boys even date? This is my first one and I already do not like it. Maybe I'm just with the wrong girl? What if Rhonda… No. I refuse to think that. She can just go and jump of a cliff, that girl. Indecisive, infuriating, arrogant, vain, shallow, heartbreaking wench. I can see why she's friends with Helga. They deserve each other. Not that it's any of my business.

The lady with the apron finally came to us and drawled, "What would you like to order? Make it quick, I got other people I need to serve." She scowled at Gwen, she glared at me. Very hospitable, I'm certainly coming back to this establishment again sometime in the future. I feel really welcomed.

Gwen, again, did not sense the hostility rolling off the waitress. Her bright, cheerful eyes sparkled and her mouth was still fixed in that gigantic smiled that does not seem to leave her face. "I would like to have a Caesar salad."

The waitress smirked and said sardonically, "Hm, miss, what do you think this is? The Hilton? You're going to have burger." Her eyes travelled from Gwen's head to her toes, "You're going to need a milkshake too. You, what the hell do you want?"

An escape, I almost said. Instead, I did the old act of pretending to be having the time of my life, "The same."

The woman chuckled. "She makes all the decisions for both of you? Quite a catch you got there Little Miss Sunshine," she retorted and moved to another table.

Gwen was quite taken aback by that last comment. She opened her mouth as if to speak but then closed it again. "What a rude woman," she muttered under her breath.

I almost laughed. It was the first time of the night Gwen showed any other emotion besides happiness. It was quite refreshing.

Then she's back, wiping everything away with another huge smile, this time though, it was forced.

"Soooo, I realised I was talking all about myself. I'm like that. My daddy says I babble too much. Anyway, enough about me, what about you?"

"What about me?" I said.

"No, silly!" she slapped my hand and damn it hurt. "I was talking about what you do in your free time, your interests." Gwen stared at me expectantly with her eyes wide.

I stalk this girl I like but that stopped a few weeks ago because she told me to leave her alone. Her name's Rhonda, you just met her and yes, she is that famous heiress. However, I couldn't really say that, can I?

I opted for, "I read."

She appeared very perplexed, "Read? Ha! That's so funny! That's like a hobby nobody does anymore!" Another slap on my hand. Ow.

I almost rudely said, 'Well, maybe if you could actually read, you'd appreciate books'. However, tonight is the night to keep the thoughts to myself, something I'd never manage to do in front of Rhon-

Is she always going to pop into my head? Can't she just keep out for ten seconds? I'm pretending to have the most awesome date of my life here and that can't happen is that Lloyd girl is wandering around in the deep recesses of my mind.

Silence was what followed. Gwen sensed that she must have quite insulted me. I did not really want to talk to her anymore and it was perfect because at that exact time Sid came in.

"Hey, I was wondering whether you like-" Sid started to say but before he could finish, Gwen cut in. Damn. That girl needs to keep out of the way and be immediately attracted to Sid so I can go home.

Her eyes narrowed and the air crackled with her electric fury, her head slowly turned to Sid in a Japanese horror movie kind of way. In the most menacing and venomous voice I have ever heard, she uttered, "Can't you see I'm on a date?"

She was ruining it. Sid was my chance to leave and now… Wait, I just have to make them stay longer and hopefully Sid's persistent hormones can convince this girl to leave me alone. So, again, for the billionth time tonight, I fake a grin. "Hi Sid, Stinky."

They glanced at each other warily. Obviously, they were not used to me acting so friendly. It was the best I could do at such short notice.

Gwen tsked and the boys left, I almost held out a hand for them and yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOO! Don't leave me here!" but I controlled myself. I'm very proud of that.

The girl I was with smirked with satisfaction as the door closed on them. Her eyes were fixed on me again and suddenly, I had a great idea.

I did not talk for five minutes and Gwen began to look at me strangely. Mentally, I was grinning.

I rubbed my temples and the bridge of my nose, just as I suspected, the question came on cue. "Are you alright, Thaddeus?"

I did my best fake cough while trying to seem like I can't take the bright lights. My eyes became half-lidded and my breath became shallower, just for effect. It was working.

"Thaddeus? Is something the matter?" she asked with real concern.

"Nothing's wrong," I smiled weakly. This is going to work. This is going to work.

"Really? You seem sick!" Gwen tried reaching for my forehead but I caught her hand. Nuh-uh. She can't touch this. Literally. She'll know I'm not sick.

"I just have this slight headache, been having it all day," I replied weakly and smiled tightly, caressing her hand that I caught with mine. She seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded her head.

"If you want to cancel the da-"

"Really?" Damn. Too enthusiastic. My reply should have been more sickly.

"Yeah," she muttered, unsure. There was already a hint of suspicion in her eyes.

"I think we probably should. My headache's worse now. I can't stand the cold," I said and did pretty decent job at shivering even though it was like a 100 ̊C in here.

Her smile drooped and her eyes became sad, I instantly felt guilty. Too bad, what's done is done.

"I'll just walk you home, how did you get here anyway?" I asked with my fake-sick voice.

"Oh, I took the subway," she casually mentioned and waved it away. She took the subway, she must live pretty far from here. The guilt was starting to return.

"Oh… ah, okay. So I'll see you around?" I said, hoping that I will never have to see this incredibly stunning girl again. Her tilted eyes will haunt my nightmares from now on. Nightmares about dating and how I will definitely never get a wife.

"Sure. You okay to walk home?" she asked.

"Yeah," we both stood up and left the diner, the burgers definitely forgotten, they probably would taste like grease anyway.

We stood there in the cold, blistering wind, her blonde hair floating through the breeze. She is definitely radiant. I wonder why she would pick me. If there was a scale up to ten she'd probably be a twelve while at most I'll be a definite five.

Gwen gave me one last final smile, whispered, "Get well", gave me a kiss and left. I cross the street to get to my house, the taste of cherry bomb lip gloss still on my lips.

I could not help it. I grinned, my first ever kiss. Not the ones I forced on Rhonda, this time, a girl initiated the kiss. She wanted it. She wanted me. Nothing boosts a male ego more than when a girl showed she actually liked you.

I stepped inside and was greeted by my mom watching the television. Her and her Mexican soap operas, I did not understand it since we're sort of Asian descent. Although my blood is so mix I can't really tell with an absolute answer what ethnicity I am anymore.

My mom's smile was quite off-putting. What was going on?

"A certain girl called," she said with her lips curled and her eyes trained at the television. Ahh… a girl. Wait, what? No girls call me. What is this strangeness?

I tried to act cool as I took of my sneakers and rubbed my shoulders. "Who?"

My mom smiled, "Oh, just someone."

"Mom," I whined. "Can you just get to the point?"

She sighed. She enjoyed tormenting me. "A certain Miss Rhonda Lloyd asking if she could speak to you, it sounded urgent."

Rhonda. Rhonda? Rhonda! Why would she call?

Mom must have probably my facial expression hilarious because she just burst into laughter. "You should have seen your face! Yes! Rhonda called, believe it."

Believe it? It's like believing in unicorns.

I shrugged even though inside I was quite shaken. What would Rhonda want? She tells me to enjoy my date then she calls my house the minute she got home.

"You should call her back," Mom said slyly. I glared at her.

"Not going to," I replied stubbornly as I stomped upstairs but her words stopped me.

"Did something happen?" she asked, even though I could not see her face, I knew she was worried. Mom has always been the first one to figure out when I had a crush on that girl. Woman's intuition, I guess.

"No, nothing happened. Good night. Mom," I lied and quickly dialled Rhonda's number which I memorised by heart.

Then I hang up, clutched the phone, turned off the light and went to bed. I was still holding the telephone in my hand.


	12. CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER TWELVE

RHONDA

"Here are the FIGHTING TIGERS!" the announcer with the cheesy smile and disgusting leer said with his loud voice as our football team came out in all their shoulder padded glory. I put on my wide smile and cheered my heart out.

I put my all to every dance, every yell, every single shake of my butt in front of the audience. I felt my cheerleading uniform sticking to my body because of the sweat. The adrenaline felt good pumping in my veins. Driving me.

This was why I love cheerleading. It lets me be free. I watched the world whirl by as the boys threw me to the air, then gravity pulled me back down and I felt their strong hands break my fall. I stood up again, grinning widely and savouring it. The attention. The crowd going wild for us.

I barely paid attention to the score until we stopped cheering.

47-14. We won.

I beamed again, waved to the crowd, blew kisses, feigning so much happiness even though the adrenaline from the workout has been wiped out of my system taking with it the ecstasy. I felt hollow inside. I've been like this for days now. I don't know what's going on. I'm distracted, disoriented and moody. Most of the time I'm just so bitchy that even my friends don't want to be around me. Only Lila sticks around saying stuff like "You'll get over it" or "You will get through this". Get over what? What is there to get through and get over? And that supportive smile? Her face makes me feel like I'm battling cancer.

I jogged towards the benches with the water jugs on top of it. I grabbed a cup and drank all the water with a single gulp when my ears perked up at the mention of my name.

"Look at her cutting her hair so short she can't even tie it in a ponytail. She knows that's what we decided our hair is going to be styled this year and _Rhonda _ju_s_t have to go and get a bob cut," Bitch no. 1 whispered.

"I know, right? She always had to be different. Like she's sooo unique. Honestly, I can't see how people put up with her," Bitch no. 2 agreed.

If they only knew why I cut my hair…

Last Sunday, I was again alone at home. I was making my art project, a collage. The scissors were there. I grabbed them on impulse, ran to my toilet and cut my hair. The ends reached my chin.

With every cut, satisfaction and joy filled me. It was extremely liberating. I looked at myself in the mirror and wiped the fog of the glass. I liked it. It was me. The old me, minus the bangs. I felt sophisticated and classy. It lifted my spirits for awhile. Only for awhile. Then the hollowness came back, swallowing me in the middle of the night. Robbing me of sleep. Of thought. Of anything.

Their gossip session was not only heard by me but by our Captain, Grace Mercy Ann Milkovitz. Oh, don't be fooled by her name. I smirked. Something was about to go down.

"Kelly, Darcy, locker room, now!" Grace Mercy Ann yelled at the top of her lungs with her booming voice. Kelly and Darcy's eyes almost popped out of their skulls, everybody was afraid of Grace. She's a senior who word has it is going to be the valedictorian this year. She is the Captain of the cheerleading squad and the debate team. Yes, she is one of those really great people who are good at everything they do.

Kelly and Darcy followed her command, pouting their way to the locker room then Grace followed them inside, not before winking at me. I almost laughed out loud, as a result water squirted out of my nostrils. Damn you, Grace.

Of course, it was the perfect time for Francis all sweaty and gorgeous to pass me by. Yes, with water dripping from my nose.

Not that he noticed me, like he ever does. Not since the incident. Can't say I miss him that much anymore either. A guy who leaves you because of one humiliating incident is not a guy who I want sticking around me. I'd rather have a guy who sticks by me through the end. Someone like… no…

Not even going there.

I made my way to the sink to the side of the stadium that was located outside the locker room. I heard Grace scolding Kelly and Darcy. I smiled as I washed my face to rid off sweat and make up then grabbed the towel hanging on my shoulder and wiped my face with it. Definitely refreshing but it was not enough. I still felt sticky, I really need a shower.

I didn't want to face the girls who probably are probably going to have snide comments ready to throw at me, I figured I'd just shower at home so I grabbed my bag, tightened my ponytail and went on my way.

But not before I bumped into someone.

"Ow!," I yelped then looked up to see who it is. "Hi! Brainy- I mean, Brian! It's nice to see you. I didn't know you follow football," I said. Brainy just stood there. Breathing. Just breathing. I know that he has emphysema but seriously, the breathing creeps me out.

"I don't." Another inhale.

Okay. What do I say now? Brainy- I mean Brian (I gotta remember he goes by Brian now) and I aren't really close.

"Oh, so why are you here?" I asked, throwing in a smile so I did not seem bitchy. I did not need another person to think I'm such a grouch.

"I sell hotdogs," he stated.

"Huh?"

"I work at the hotdog stand," he wheezed. It made me feel bad asking him all these questions, it seems like he is having such a hard time just answering them.

"Oh, okay." I smiled. Again. Then we were just staring at each other and things were becoming awkward.

All of a sudden, Brain- I meant Brian broke the silence. He told me something that was really weird, you know, coming from him.

"Rhonda."

"Yeah?" I dumbly replied, expecting him to bid farewell.

"Follow your heart," he said without difficulty. Staring into my eyes and making me feel like he could see my soul. It was the strangest experience.

Then, he left. Just like that. Gone. In his, what I guess to be, hotdog stand uniform.

Follow your heart? The first thing that came to my mind was "HUH?".

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? AM I DOOMED TO BE SURROUNDED BY WEIRDOS AND FREAKS MY WHOLE LIFE?

Can't anybody tell me simple advice that I can use and apply, uh, simply? Please! Whatever the universe should throw at me should not be a puzzle. I'm more of a creative soul rather than a logical type. I stood frozen to the ground for a few moments trying to make sense of things. I couldn't. I shook my head to clear the thoughts that were slowly giving me a headache.

I walked over the grassy field to exit the stadium. I figured that anybody who is up there must be laughing at me. Follow my heart. It's just three words. It's supposed to be simple. But it isn't. I don't know what I'm supposed to apply it to.

When I reached my car, I was still thinking about it. When I was driving home, I was still baffled by it. When I entered my house, I thought I'm at least close to figuring out what Brian meant. I wasn't. Argh! I was becoming mad but the feeling was better than the hollowness so I welcomed it.

I tried to solve the riddle of Brainy's advice while I was chewing my steak. While I was listening to my father's long rant about the pompous fool in the office. While I stretched. While I was brushing my teeth. While I was watching a rerun of Friends. While I was getting ready for bed. While I was in bed.

Then it clicked. The advice. The question is not what is it for, it's who is it for…..


	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HELGA

DIARY ENTRY NO. 597

Dear diary,

Yeah, that's right, I'm telling the story. Well, it's more of a recount actually. Of the things I've seen and what I have figured out so far. By the way, this is an exclusive. Only YOU know this, diary. That's correct. You are the only one I have told this. You're very lucky to be the first one to know my suspicion.

I have come to the conclusion that… the princess and the psycho are doing it. I know! I was shocked too! Rhonda and Curly? But that's the only reason I could come up with. It explains why they are acting so weird towards each other and why they always sneak out of school together. Something just tells me that those two are getting it on… and Helga Geraldine Pataki is never wrong. Or so I thought…

So it was a Tuesday, right? Wait, why am I asking you if I'm right, of course I'm right. It was a TUESDAY and we were all in the cafeteria. Eating, duh. I was watching Arnold running his fingers through his flaxen hair that glistens under the school's crappy fluorescent lights. I've sniffed that head of hair countless of times and have dreamt of touching it and stroking it. His hair has the best scent in the whole world. A mixture of watermelon and strawberries and his scent, just his scent. I want to bathe myself with it. A tub of his delicious smell. I want to soak in it for a really long time until I too smell of The Best Scent In The Whole Wide World.

Phoebe was talking about homework and I was starting to tune out while I picked on my tuna sandwich when suddenly, my peripheral vision picked up something. I saw Curly bumped into Rhonda as she went round the corner. I chuckled. Phoebe turned to what seemed to be so amusing. Upon seeing Rhonda and Curly rubbing their foreheads, Phoebe turned to me with her "That's not very funny, Helga" expression.

I laughed and innocently said, "What?"

Phoebe was pensive for a moment, "Helga, don't you find Rhonda's behaviour odd?"

"What behaviour, Pheebs?" I asked, curious as to what she meant. Yes, Rhonda has been frowning a lot lately. What a hypocrite. She tells me not to frown so much or I'll get wrinkles but look at her now. At the rate she's going she's going to look like raisin when she's in her twenties.

"I can't really put my finger on it but from what I conclude from my observation is that she seems very upset. A traumatising or heartbreaking experience perhaps?" Phoebe said, keeping her eyes on the couple as they parted ways and sat at different tables. They barely recognised each other's existence even though they just did an accidental headbutt.

"Hmm, you're right, Pheebs, both parties are acting weird. Maybe they eloped and don't want anyone to suspect or maybe they have a kid together and Curly's bummed out that he has to pay child support while Rhonda's ashamed she's going to have the spawn of Curly… you know, something like that," I said as I gestured wildly with the tuna from my sandwich flying all over the place. This is the part when I was already quite convinced those two were doing some hanky panky behind everybody's back.

Phoebe smiled, "I don't think it's something as extreme as that, Helga. Something must have happened to Rhonda. We should make sure she's fine."

"She's fine," I waved her suggestion that we should make sure hoity-toity Miss Lloyd is fine.

"Helga, look at her," Phoebe whispered as she discreetly jerked her head at Rhonda's direction and for the first time I really looked. Rhonda Wellington Lloyd looked like she was losing it.

There were bags under her eyes, she seemed skinnier than she usually is and her pale complexion made her appear quite dead. I almost couldn't believe that I'm staring at her highness, The Popular Princess of Ponce herself and I felt something I had never felt before for Rhonda Lloyd, sympathy and understanding.

Rhonda reminded me of myself when Arnold left to search for his parents, which he successfully managed to do so in a year's time. She looked so frail and weak with Lila rubbing her back soothingly. It almost, ALMOST, made me sad. I thought of how depressed I was when Arnold left. Rhonda looked like me.

Without my angel beside me, I found it hard to connect with other people so I let go. Luckily, he came back and brought me out of the darkness. My saviour. My one true love.

From the depression that is coming off from Rhonda in waves, I realised that she was not doing it with Curly. The matter did involve Curly but it was not sexual, it was more of an emotional matter.

There was something going on.

Then I saw her face when she looked back and glanced at the table Arnold, Gerald, Sid, Stinky and Curly were sitting at with longing.

I smiled and felt a pang of sadness. Phoebe understood too. I could see it by the way her face almost lit up from the realisation.

The princess has fallen in love with the psycho… and she doesn't even know it yet.

CHOCOLATE BOY

I love chocolate. So much that sometimes when I'm thinking about it I don't notice other people around me but the broad in the carpark looked as if she needed help. She was leaning against a car with her forehead resting on the hood. It wasn't just a car, the car was Rhonda Lloyd's red sportscar. Nobody, I repeat, nobody touches Rhonda's car so I decided to warn the miss. I tapped her shoulder. Chocolate. I love chocolate.

She turned and boy was I surprise when it was Rhonda Lloyd herself who was leaning against her car.

"What do you want?" she moaned as she looked at me through her black hair. Chocolate's the best.

"Chocolate. I want chocolate," I said. I do love chocolate.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out something then shoved it in my hand. Chocolate. When I opened my hand, I knew my eyes widened when I saw $50 in it.

"There, go buy yourself some chocolate and leave me alone", she groaned and continued leaning on the car.

"Oh, boy. I will! Thank you so much!" I said as I ran to the store to get some chocolate. I almost didn't hear the muffled "Anytime" coming from her lips but I did. I grinned. No matter what anyone says, I think Rhonda Lloyd is an angel.


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHATER FOURTEEN

CURLY

"Did you see Rhonda today?" Helga asked with a sly grin. "She looked terribly depressed. You don't happen to have anything to do with that? Do you, Curly?"

I wanted to smack her smug face but I controlled myself.

I shrugged. I don't really care what Miss Lloyd gets up to anymore. She's just a student I'm helping with her studies. She means nothing to me. So in my snide voice I spat, "Maybe she missed a goddamned sale or a beauty convention, I don't know, Helga. Why the hell don't you ask her? I can't be bothered with her anymore."

Instead of backing down, Helga merely grinned some more. And she seemed to be oddly focused at something behind me. I turned.

Rhonda was there… then again it was like she wasn't. She was there physically, yes, but from her tired amber eyes and her mouth that drooped downwards at the side, it was like Rhonda died. In a horrible way. She seemed… there was something completely different with Rhonda. It scared me and I didn't like it. I remembered her phone call…

Another twinge of guilt managed to swim back up but I shoved it down as I saw Rhonda's face darken and she pushed me out of the way much to Helga's amusement.

As she passed by me I heard her utter, "I'm so glad that's what you think of me," in an extremely bitter tone. Her heels clacked as she made it to the Physics lab taking long, angry steps. I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. I didn't deserve her anger. Helga was the one baiting me. She wanted me to say those things because she knew Rhonda would hear.

I saw Helga gave me one last knowing smile and gave me a mock salute before she disappeared through the classroom door.

_SHE MAY HAVE BAITED YOU BUT IT WAS _**YOU**_ WHO RESPONDED…_

_Shut up. You haven't appeared since my last session and you're never going to appear again._

_OH? BUT YOU MISSED ME SO MUCH, MY DEAR THADDEUS. UPON MY DISAPPEARANCE YOU HAVE TURNED BITTER. EVEN SPURNING THE GIRL YOU LOVE. YOU NEED ME, I'M AFRAID… _

_I don't love her._

_OH REALLY? GROW UP, THADDEUS. YOU WILL HAVE TO DO PLENTY OF THAT. AT THE SAME TIME, LOOK AROUND YOU. YOU ARE TOO BLIND WITH HATRED TO SEE WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU EVEN IF IT IS WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY THE MOST IN THIS SOMETIMES JOYLESS WORLD…_

_What the hell are you talking about?_

_IN TIME, YOU WILL REALISE… BUT FOR NOW, I MUST DASH… SO MANY OTHER YOUNG MINDS TO POISON…_

"Shit," I growled. A hand landed on my shoulder. I heard Arnold's voice asking me if I fine. I shakily nodded. I made my way to class hoping I wasn't late. I opened the Physics' lab door and stepped inside, almost welcoming the chaotic noise of my classmates chatting with each other. No one noticed my arrival. I quietly snuck into a seat, very far away from Rhonda. I didn't want to deal with her just yet. Besides, we got plenty of time for awkward silence at her house later.

Our physics teacher walked in, he started to drone about velocity and other crap and I fell asleep with Rhonda's short, black hair in my sight. I sighed. It wouldn't be the first time.

…..

As I cycled to Rhonda's mansion, I thought of how to apologize to her but at the same time not to make it obvious that I'm apologizing. I still think I'm not in the wrong. Helga was the one at fault. Helga is the one who should apologize. Still, I was the one that looked like a jerk so I really have to say sorry without saying sorry. Does any of this make sense?

The guard smiled at me. He was used to seeing me. This has probably been my eighth time going to the Lloyd's residence. The guard sometimes even asks me to bring him something from Joe's Pizzeria. I don't mind since I get an extra tip.

We always have the tutoring sessions at her house even though sometimes Rhonda insists we should go to my house. I tell her firmly that we can't and have rejected the idea so many times that along the way she just gave up.

I passed by the big fountains with those Greek statues pouring water from their bottomless jars and my bicycle wheels spun on the asphalt path, on each side there are fields of colourful flowers lit up by unseen lights. The scene looked quite magical.

I leapt from my back, kicked the stand and let it rest beside the post. I laughed as I saw the wheels of my bike dirtied the pristine white post. Still smiling, I made my way to the big front doors. They opened and on the other side was a man dressed expensively in a black tuxedo. He smiled. His smile was incredibly familiar.

"Hello, young man! I'm Buckley Lloyd, and you must be Rhonda's tutor! Thaddeus, I presume," he greeted me loudly holding a hand out. I took it and shook it, smiling politely.

Rhonda's father, at last. He was the famous billionaire, dealing with stocks and other complicated things Rhonda would always say. I don't think she even knows what her father does. Ironic actually, since she could just google it. Buckley Lloyd actually buys out companies that are about to go bankrupt and makes a fortune of them. As his daughter, one might think that Rhonda Lloyd is actually aware of what her father does.

When I was young, I used to dream of meeting Rhonda's father and asking him for his blessing and his approval of the marriage between Rhonda and me. I would tell him that I'm rich so I could give Rhonda whatever she wanted and Rhonda would be deliriously happy if she was with me because we are so in love with each other. Then, Buckley Lloyd would say, "Of course, my good man! I'm the luckiest father in the world to be able to give my precious daughter to such a fine man like you!" Dreams, hah. They only give you false hope.

I tried to focus on what he is saying. "Rhonda told us all about you. She is very lucky to have someone like you to help her with her studies. She's not very good with her academics." Buckley's brows furrowed in concern then his face brightened.

"I have called the school and they have told me that she has been progressing quite nicely. They told me she got a tutor and that you pulled up her grades in a matter of weeks. Thank you, Thaddeus," he said sincerely. I was dumbstruck. I couldn't say anything. I felt like I was ambushed. There I was, expecting to tutor Rhonda when suddenly a billionaire decided to block my path and thank me. This is quite an interesting day.

"It's no problem, sir. Rhonda's a fast learner. She's really smart but…" I faltered, I couldn't insult Rhonda in front of her father.

"She's lazy and easily distracted," Buckley continued with a knowing smile and a twinkle in his eye. He knows his daughter well. He continued smiling until he realised something, "Oh, I forgot my manners! Please do come in. Rhonda will be down in a minute. Her mother and I are going to a party, some business partner's birthday." He continued talking as he let me inside the house. I noticed the sad tone in his voice. "A shame. I wanted to spend the evening with Rhonda but it seems that there is always something coming up. We are always busy."

We passed by the hall with the big chandelier, he led me to the waiting room and we sat at opposite plush sofas. Buckley Lloyd was still smiling at me. "So tell me young man, how long have you known my Rhonda?"

I do not know why but the question threw me off course. I was unprepared for that, however, I still did my best in answering. "Since kindergarten, I think about… twelve years?" I said, my voice almost breaking.

Buckley nodded, "That is a long time." He grinned. "I only knew Rhonda's mother for two months before I married her. I knew immediately she was the one."

Uh, where was he going with this?

"You know, my daughter sometimes can't see what is in front of her."

"I guess Rhonda and I have the same problem," I said earnestly and Buckley chuckled.

"She is a very spirited woman but very near-sighted."

"She has myopia?" I asked. I remember the time Rhonda had to wear glasses.

"Oh! No!" Buckley roared in laughter again. I was starting to get uncomfortable. It seems that there are people crazier than me in this world.

"What I meant to say young man is that Rhonda only sees what she likes to see. She is very much like my mother that way," he said with such nostalgia that I couldn't help wonder what Rhonda's grandmother would have been like.

"Her grandmother?" I asked.

He nodded as he stood up and poured himself a drink from a nearby table. "You may have seen her before since you use the study room for your tutoring sessions, right?"

"Sir?" I was confused. Seen her before? I don't have the slightest clue how Rhonda's grandmother look like.

"There is this big painting. Quite magnificent, actually. A lot of people have been asking if I would sell it if they give me a generous amount but I refused their offers. The painting has a lot of sentimental value and I would not sell it for all the money in the world," he stated proudly.

A painting? There is only one big painting upstairs. The painting of Rhonda sitting on a sofa. Or is it really Rhonda?

"Does your mother… did she look a lot like Rhonda?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

He smiled. "It is Rhonda who looks like her. My mother was a beautiful woman filled with a joie de vivre that could not be matched. She was always the life of the party. It was not only my father that fell in love with her but other men too, including the man that painted that picture."

A knock startled us both. Rhonda came in. I knew she knew I was there but she ignored my presence and she went straight to her father, kissing him on the cheek. He hugged her and his smile grew.

"Rhonda dear, Thaddeus and I were just getting better acquainted," he said joyfully.

Oh yes, now much better acquainted. Now I know your family history and the fact that the painting I was admiring was not actually a painting of you. I didn't say it but I thought about it as Rhonda turned and pretended that she just noticed that I was in the room for the first time and looked at me with her I'm-so-bored-I-hardly-can-keep-my-eyes-open-anymore gaze.

"Oh, I see," she said with a deep undertone of scorn. Her lips were pursed in a most unattractive fashion.

_Pout all you want, princess. Be angry at me even though the incident this afternoon was Helga's fault._

_THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO SMOOTH WITH THE LADIES._

_You, again!_

_WHY YES, SURPRISE! BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT DEAR MISS RHONDA LLOYD. YOUR FUTURE HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON IT.I CAN ASSURE YOU._

_Just get out of my head!_

_MY PLEASURE… AFTER YOU APOLOGIZE TO HER._

_I have thought it over and I really don't want to apologize to her anymore._

_REALLY? THEN I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO STAY INSIDE YOUR HEAD SINGING GENERIC POP SONGS._

_Don't you dare…_

_HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! MY LONELINESS IS KILL-_

_Alright! I'll apologize…_

_I'LL BE WAITING…_

"Thaddeus," Rhonda's father looked at me quizzically then he looked at Rhonda. She shrugged and stared at the vase in the corner of the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry I was just thinking about something."

He nodded, "I get that way sometimes too. Used to happen when I was a lot younger." Buckley hugged his daughter again and turned to me. "It was really nice to meet you, Thaddeus. Please do not let me daughter get the best of you. I heard she can be very draining."

"Father!" Rhonda yelled in protest but she was smiling. It seemed like this was the first time she has smiled in weeks. There was a fire back in her eyes. However, as soon as the smile faded, so did the fire.

"Goodbye, sir," I said. He said something to Rhonda in a low voice and went on his way. Which left me and Rhonda. Alone.

Rhonda was the first to speak. Her voice sounded raspy like she hasn't been talking for a long time. "I want to go to your house."

"Are you kidding? I cycled all the way here from my house then suddenly you decide to ju-"

"I want to go to your house," she said firmly, not meeting my eyes.

"We can't," I said, equally firm.

"We can and we will." She looked up at me with her pleading hazel eyes, then with a desperate tone she whispered, "Please."

I was just… plain confused. Why is she acting like this? Just now she seemed pissed off now she is just really sad. She's never been like this and my heart started to beat faster. Was something wrong? Is she alright? I knew that all these weeks I've been trying to say she doesn't matter and I really don't care for her anymore but now that I see her… and she's suffering. I realised that what I've been saying is bullshit. I care. I care about her. I wouldn't be concerned with what's going on if I didn't care.

"Alright," I said hesitantly. Not knowing what is making her feel so depressed. I felt my heart go out to her and I tried to stop it but what was the use? I will always care for Rhonda Lloyd. Always.

Upon getting my approval, her face lit up like it was Christmas morning. Instantly, my rapidly beating heart slowed down and I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Get your things," I commanded so she would not realise that by just seeing her smile, she already calms me.

"Okay," she said with unmistaken excitement in her tone. She ran out of the room and I followed her out to wait by the big oak doors of the mansion. The maid was there, the pretty one and she smiled coyly at me. I waved at her in return.

I heard Rhonda's hurried steps down the stairs before I saw her. She had her backpack with her. She was wearing her red sweater, white, Converse sneakers with little pink hearts and her denim shorts. Her long, glowing legs were exposed again. I looked away.

"Let's go!" she said happily as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Why are you so excited to go to my house?" I asked. The maid opened the door and we got out.

"I just want to get out of the house so badly I would have been excited to go anywhere. Plus it was forbidden before so… we women always want what we can't have," she said with a hint of danger. I smiled. She was starting to regain her spark, but why now?

"We're going to take my car," she announced.

"No, that means I have to leave my bike here and I ha-" she cut me off by grabbing my lips with her thumb and index finger. She grinned.

"I know, I know, you cycled all the way here. Alright. You just have to cycle all the way back home," her grin grew wider, "with me on the back."

I almost laughed. "My bike's old! It can barely hold me let alone you _and_ me!"

She looked unconvinced. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

"What? No! You're so slim… Actually, skinny would be the right word. You look like you haven't eaten since Yo Earnest was showing on television. Are you sure you're fine?"

She was quite for a while, staring at the bike off to the side, probably deciding whether it could hold the two of us. Then she spoke. "I'm fine," she said a little too forcefully that I knew she wasn't.

I walked over to where my old bike was standing and rode it. I kicked the stand and felt soft, long arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I suddenly had a sharp intake of breath as I realised that Rhonda was sitting behind me with her chest close to my back, her arms around me. I shivered as I felt the electric zing that travelled through my whole body.

"Are you cold or something?" I heard her ask.

"I'm alright. Ready to go?" I asked, not looking back and I started to pedal without waiting for her response.

"I'm suddenly starting to doubt if this piece of crap can carry us to your house," she muttered and her breath tickled my ear as we passed by the guard who winked at me as we sped pass. That old, sly bastard...

"Hey! Don't call her a piece of crap, she has feelings. She gets hurt easily," I said seriously.

I sensed her smile. "I'm sorry old bike… but if your owner gets all of us killed, I'm going to kill him again in heaven."

"Is that even allowed?" I asked sardonically.

"Would you like to find out?" she whispered.

Oh god. Her voice really is sexy. I mean, I don't like her romantically anymore and I still care about her but goddamn it. She can't keep talking to me like that while I'm driving this bike. I might crash into a lamppost or something.

I breathed in the cold night air. It's about seven in the evening, if I'm not wrong. We were going through the crowded part of town and we both are decidedly quiet. It wasn't long before the burger shop came into view and soon the Laundromat and my house was in sight. I braked and I felt her head bump onto my neck.

"Would you warn me next time?" she snapped and got off the bike. I smiled.

"Sure, I'll warn you next time," I teased. I realised what she said. Next time, as if she will be riding my bike again, holding onto me and breathing down my neck sending ripples of pleasure throughout my body.

I'm sure when she gets home she will want to wash her arms and disinfect herself after having to come into such close contact with me. I felt myself frown.

She was standing by our door about to press the doorbell when I caught up with her.

"No need, I have a key," I said and opened the door.

"Oh… What a handy young man. Thank you for rescuing me," she said sarcastically.

"Anytime."

Immediately, the second I stepped inside the house, I heard my mom's voice, "Thaddeus, is that you?" How does she know that I'm here? It's like she's a psychic.

"Yeah, ma. It's me," I replied before encouraging Rhonda to come in and closing the door. I expected her to scrutinise the house or make some kind of remark about how small it is. That was why I was scared to let her go here. I was scared she'd judged me but today she seemed so sad and eager to get out of the mansion I just have to let her come along. To my surprise, upon entering, Rhonda only smiled, closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of my mom's cooking.

"I love home-cooked meals," she said to no one in particular as she surveyed our tiny living room and sat down on our old beat up sofa.

My mom came out of the kitchen with her apron on, surprised when she saw a girl in our living room. I quickly explained.

"Ma, this is Rhonda. Uh, she wanted to come here, for the tutoring thing so… I brought her here."

Rhonda looked at my mom. She seemed nervous which was shocking since Rhonda was never nervous, unless something really bad is happening.

"Hi," she said almost shyly. Shyly? What does she have to be shy about.

"Hi, Rhonda! You are such a beautiful girl! It's a wonder why we have never met before," my mom greeted enthusiastically as she held her arms out as if expecting a hug. I looked at my mom asking with her with my eyes, "What are you doing?"

To my absolute shock, Rhonda stood up and hugged my mom.

Do they know each other? Is there something I missed?

When they broke away from each other after such a, believe me, incredibly long time my mom asked Rhonda if she wanted to have dinner at our house to which of course Rhonda said yes. They chatted for a while and I watched the exchange between the two of them. It was very comfortable. It is as if they've known each other for years.

My mom said she had to go check on the meal but from the glare she gave me before she vanished to the kitchen, I knew she wanted me to say something to Rhonda who appeared to be much happier sitting in our old beat up sofa than she was back at her enormous mansion.

She was beaming widely and I couldn't help but join. She turned to me, her eyes finally having the light back in them. "You have a lovely mom. You're very lucky," she said quietly.

"Yeah, mom's awesome," I agreed. She nodded. This is getting very awkward.

"My mom and I… we don't really get along," she continued, her face revealed that she was not sure whether she should share this or not. This is the longest time I have spent with Rhonda with both of us acting civil. I did not say anything for fear of screwing it up.

I did not prod or ask. I just kept quiet. She decided to continue.

"I guess we're too different. And sometimes my mom can be a bit… superficial. She's not mean or anything but her views can be a bit, um…"

"Shallow?" I asked.

She shakily nodded and I realised Rhonda has never told anyone this. Not even her friends. I was the first person to hear this and I was honoured she would share that with me. However, I also felt responsibility weighed down on me. I did not know why but it was there.

"Do you think I'm shallow?" she asked with such vulnerability that I knew this was about what she heard from my mouth this afternoon. Her amber eyes met my own and my heart started to beat much faster again. My hands were twitching, ready to do something crazy again.

I could only tell the truth. "No, I don't think you're shallow at all," I say truthfully.

_APOLOGIZE NOW._

_I will._

"Uh, Rhonda, about this afternoon, when you heard me said those things, I want you to know that…"

"It's fine," she said.

"I'm really really sorry."

I saw her smile and nod her head just a little and I knew that I was forgiven. So much for my much planned subtle apology.

"You know, Curly. I think you're right. I'm not shallow at all. In fact, I'm as deep as a plunge pool," she said wisely as she grabbed my hands and lead me to the kitchen, I was too busy looking at her to realise I had a stupid smile on my face the entire time.


	15. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

RHONDA

Is this weird? I'm having dinner with my ex-stalker and his mom and I am actually having a good time. To add to the weirdfest, I actually know what Brainy is talking about. Follow your heart. It kept me awake for days. The scary thought. You know the thought that's so horrific you are actually asking yourself "Should you be having this thought?"? But then after you admit to yourself that "Yeah, I should be thinking about this" it just clears everything up and it feels so right that somehow it is wrong. Am I getting through to anyone? Because to me it makes sense, what doesn't make sense is the realisation that I actually kind of, sort of, maybe, I don't know! Like Thaddeus Gammelthorpe. Yup. I like Curly. There, I admit it. Which is the first step. An important step. I have to admit it. To deny it would just be… painful. I would know, been there done that and all that crap.

So here I am, after convincing the guy I like to take me to his house, I'm having dinner with him. I know. I can't believe it either. I have achieved so much progress in one night. Oh, but you know, it's all part of the plan. The plan to actually get him to like me again. I know what you're thinking, how did I get from being so freaked out and disgusted by the guy to liking him and even scheming how to get him back? Simple. I realised.

I realised that there has been no boy, before him, that have ever stuck by me, bitchiness and all. I realised that without his constant ravings about his love for me, the silence was unbearable and how I missed him stating all the features I have that he thinks are lovely. I realised that without him, I have one less person to look for support and understanding from. I realised I just missed him. I just missed him so much I would give anything for things to be the same again. But that can't happen because I was the one that ruined it. I was the one that broke his heart. But I'll be damned if I don't do everything in my power to mend it right back.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen and whoever is up there, you can laugh at Rhonda Lloyd's stupidity because right now she actually thinks she is in love with Thaddeus 'Curly' Gammelthorpe. No. Scratch that. She knows she is in love with Thaddeus 'Curly' Gammelthorpe. The only problem is at the moment, Thaddeus 'Curly' Gammelthorpe is not in love with her. But he soon will be. And God, I just realised how long his name is, I have to work on that. I mean, if we get together… No, of course we'll get together. What I meant to say is that _when_ we get together I have to think of a pet name for him.

Thaddy? Nah.

Thad? Kind of okay.

Pumpkin? Now he's a vegetable?

My neurotic prince? Too long.

Munchkin? Okay, that's just wrong.

I said I'll work on it so I have plenty of time. I realised that I was tuning out of the conversation. I try my hardest to catch up. We were having mashed potatoes and chicken tonight. My future boyfriend's mom is such a great cook. When Curly and I get together, I'll swing by here all the time.

Mrs. Gammelthorpe was talking about her time in high school and college and how she and her friends were such losers back then and how they got into weird shenanigans. It was hilarious how she told the story and Curly (even though he swears it's the millionth time he has heard this) and I could not help but burst out laughing at some parts, especially the part when they accidentally locked a guy inside a Porta-Potty after too many rounds of tequila.

I watched as Curly laughed at something his mom said and I was suddenly stupefied. I never realised how great his laugh is. It was so rich. So throaty and wonderful. The kind of laugh you would want to feel vibrating under your lips and jus-

"Rhonda!"

"Huh? What?"

Curly snapped his fingers in front of my face. "You were staring," he said matter-of-factly, a grin starting to pull at the edges of his mouth. His mom was looking at me oddly too. Shit.

"I was thinking," I said. I grabbed another spoonful of mashed potatoes and acted as nonchalant as I could.

"About what, dear?" his mom, whose name is Theodora (I know, she said she got a lot of shit for it when she was a kid but I think it's a pretty kickass name compared to Rhonda), asked. Now, I couldn't bloody well reply "Your son's laugh and how it would feel under my lips" so I settled with asking for more gravy.

She gave me that warm smile again, the one that made me wish my mother was more like her, "Sure, hon." She passed me the gravy bowl while Curly looked weirdly at me, his mouth curling at the corners as he sipped his coke.

I narrowed my eyes and poured my gravy on my mashed potatoes. I could kill him. Really. What does he have to be so smug about? I was just staring. He did way worse things than that like cut my hair and maybe tape it to a shrine. I don't know. But then again, if I kill him I'll never get to hear that great laugh again. And who knows, I may need him for something important someday and there is that tiny fact that I just realised I like him.

To distract from my weird staring, I complimented Mrs. Gammelthorpe on her cooking. "This is really great. I've never eaten anything so delicious, Mrs. Gammelthorpe," I gushed.

"Oh, dear, thank you! But how many times have I told you to just call me Theodora, Mrs. Gammelthorpe makes me feel quite old."

Curly pretended to gag and I kicked him under the table. He yelped then glared at me, I stifled my laughter. I took another bite of my tasty chicken. Yum.

"You know, Thaddeus has never brought a girl home before," Theodora said as she grinned at Curly. It seemed to me they don't have a problem with embarrassing each other, just what a healthy relationship needed. I instantly felt kind of envious.

"No kidding!" I exclaimed in mock shock and Theodora laughed. Curly appeared to be muttering choice words under his breath.

"He had a crush on you, you know," she said like it is no big deal.

"Mom!" Curly cried.

"And it seems to me you rejected him. What was the problem? My son's not good enough for you?" she asked seriously, her eyes narrowing. I stared to get nervous. Is this normal mother behaviour? Feed the girl who spurn your son then start interrogating her?

"No… I just… Uh, well," I stammered.

Suddenly, Theodora's face broke into a grin, "I'm just kidding, Rhonda! You should have seen your face!"

"Oh… Ah! Good one!" I muttered, placing a hand on my chest.

"But seriously, you probably rejected my son because his approach was too forward, just like his father's," she smiled and collected the dishes from the table.

"Mom," Curly groaned as if he's wishing for a hole to open up on the kitchen floor and swallow him whole. I giggled.

She put down the dishes in the sink and I replied, "Yes, forward."

Theodora threw her hands up in the air. "I knew it!" she exclaimed triumphantly and added, "Gammelthorpe men suck when it comes to wooing women."

I laughed and I'm pretty sure I heard Curly mutter "Just shoot me now" under his breath. Or maybe I could have just imagined it.

…

"Do we have to?" I asked as we climbed the stairs.

"Rhonda, the whole point of you coming to my house was so that I could tutor you, of course we have to," Curly responded in such an irritated tone that I kept my mouth shut.

We finished dinner and have cleaned the dining room/kitchen up. I was stuffed. I think I ate about two platefuls and a half of Theodora's cooking. She was a superb cook. I, from this day forward, suggest, no, insist we have our tutoring session here. In this very house.

We reached a narrow hallway with three white doors. Curly opened the one nearest to us and I struggled to take a peek but I could not see anything past his broad shoulders. If it was another time, I would admire them but now I just want to see his room. I hate to admit that I was curious.

He went in and did not move.

"Uh, aren't you going to let me in?" I asked, annoyed. Why is he blocking the way?

"Damn! I forgot to… Wait here, this will only take a second," he said really fast then he slammed the door on my face.

Literally on my face. Ouch.

"You crazy jerk! You hit my nose!" I screamed nasally. I touched my nose and felt it to make sure it's fine. If he damaged my nose in any way… Oh, it's fine.

"Sorry!" I heard him say on the other side.

"Will you just open the door? It's not like I'm going to care what you ha-!"

"Done!" he said after opening the door.

I pushed him aside and strolled in. So this is what a guy's room look like. All dark blue and black sheets and rock metal posters. And there is a smell, not a bad smell, a manly smell, like aftershave and something else minty. I love it.

"You didn't want me to see the shrine you made for me, did you? Where did you hide it?" I asked as I looked at Kurt Cobain's face covering half of the wall beside his bed.

Curly crossed his arms and frowned. "I never made you a shrine. You must have had me confused with Helga."

"Now, why would Helga make me a shrine? And I think the dude doth protest too much," I said and dived on the bed. It was soft, comfy and smelt so good. I forgot. They own a dry-cleaning shop and the Laundromat. Figures. I rolled on the bed and stretched.

"What are you doing?" he asked but his voice sounded kind of weird like he was choking. He was still standing by the door like he's scared to approach me and his eyes are almost bulging out of their sockets. Am I turning him on by being on his bed? Good god! This is just precious!

I rolled to my stomach and rasped in my most seductive voice, "Would you like to sit down?" I patted the bed. "Here."

I saw his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He cleared his throat and said in strangled voice, "We really need to start studying, Rhonda."

I wanted to laugh so badly that I had to bite the inside of my cheeks. I have never seen him so nervous. I rolled to my back again and gazed up at the stick-on, glow in the dark stars pasted onto the ceiling. "Aren't you happy the girl you have had a crush on for almost twelve years is now on your bed?" I teased.

I watched his face in the corner of my eye. He appeared stunned. Like if there was a list of things he expected me to say 'I dance naked in the dark' would be higher on the list than what I just said.

Curly did not appear nervous anymore. In fact, he seemed really tense.

I decided to get rid of the awkwardness. "I'm sorry. I guess we're still not in the We-can-make-fun-of-it-and-laugh-about-it stage yet."

He did not reply. He just stared at me. Me and my stupid, gigantic mouth. Screwing everything up.

Curly opened his mouth then closed it again. It's as if I'm watching him have an inner battle with himself. Then he spoke.

"No, we're not in that stage yet, but we should be. It's been, what? About a month? I think both of us should be over it," he admitted and somehow what he said hurt me. Because what he said meant that he was belittling everything that we've been through.

"Yeah," I heard myself agreeing even if I didn't agree.

"I mean, it'll be easier for us to forget the whole episode and start over, with the tutoring and such. I think we can communicate better if we put it past us. You know, all that stuff… It's just, it's in the past. Nothing we can do about it now." As he said it, I could hear the pain in his voice and I wanted to say "We _can _do something about it". But I didn't, instead I nod and continue gazing up at the luminescent stars.

"So… you want to get started?" he asked, driving away from the awkward topic and pulling out his Algebra book from the desk drawer in the corner of the room.

"No. I'm really full. I think I want to lie down for a while." In truth, I just could not look at him. It hurts. This is so stupid. I finally realised I like him and now he is so eager to move on. _Yeah, Rhonda! Let us be friends and I could tutor you until we both become valedictorians together and after we graduate we could run for congress and make the world a better place by providing children with sunshine and laughter and magical, flying ponies. _Bullshit.

I realised a lot of things today. One of them is that winning Curly back is not going to be as easy as I thought.


	16. CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CURLY

So, the used-to-be girl of my dreams is lying down on my bed making fun of my innocence through mock seduction. I just could not believe it. I take a second to take it all in. Is Rhonda Lloyd really inside my bedroom lying down on my bed? Is this real? This type of scenario is the stuff fantasies are made of, most of which ends up with her screaming my name. Not the bad screaming, the good kind.

Does mom's mashed potatoes have some hallucinogenic in them? Because what I see before my eyes is most definitely a mirage. I blinked. Two, three, fifty times. I rubbed my eyes. I secretly pinched my left hand with my right behind my back.

She was still there, lying on the bed. All those toned limbs spread apart. Her hair, short and shiny, spread on the sheets giving a captivating contrast to her fair face. Her chest rapidly rising and falling as she breathes, begging to be touched. Her skin illuminated with an ethereal glow and her lips… cherry red and so kissable.

I licked my lips and I swallowed. A lot.

But then of course, I have to focus on the conversation.

"I'm sorry. I guess we're still not in the We-can-make-fun-of-it-and-laugh-about-it stage yet," she apologized and it came back to me. We were talking about "The Incident", again. To me, I feel like we have exhausted the topic. She already said she wanted to apologized (but she didn't, not that I hold it against her) and I already avoided her. After the tutoring thing complicated things, there was the date, the phone call and some weirdness at school where we just ignored each other. She started it. Well, actually, I think I did. After "The Incident", I pretended she did not exist so technically I started it. Urgh, I'm getting off track…

I wanted to brush it off. Just let it go. It's in the past. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want her to feel guilty anymore neither do I want to think of how painful it has been trying to get over her. Notice the key word, trying. I know. I suck. I vowed to get over Rhonda but a series of unexplained events just leads to me finding more about her and feeling the need to fill up her surprisingly empty life. I feel as though she needs me.

I could do it. I could be there when she needs me. I've already been there for her so many times. However, I first need to know if this time I have a chance at all. Am I going to waste my time and energy by liking the unattainable Rhonda Lloyd again?

So, as a test of how much I matter to her, I decided to see what her reaction would be if I told her that everything that we've been through, the sadness and the heartache (most of which are from my side), we should put behind us and start anew as acquaintances or even friends. I knew what would happen if the reaction I'm looking for doesn't show. A shitload of hurt with a dash of heartbreak and contempt at the unfairness of it all.

It would suck to be in my shoes if that happens.

Hopefully, it does not. I'm feeling optimistic. Maybe I still have a chance. Maybe it will still be us. I can't help it if I feel this way. I still want her. I just can't make it stop.

I did not want to show her I still care but at the same time I want to know if she does. If she doesn't, well, it's really pointless then, isn't it? I put on my mask of indifference and said tonelessly, "No, we're not in that stage yet, but we should be. It's been, what? About a month? I think both of us should be over it."

I waited for a reply. A sound. A sudden reaction. Anything.

She did not reply immediately. She mulled over what I said, obviously giving it much thought. I watched her lips part and in her soft voice she mumbled, "Yeah."

It was clear. With her face devoid of any emotion and that word, that one brief word, confirms her approval that we should all get on with our lives and forget the whole sordid affair. I swallowed the lump of hurt. So she doesn't care after all. My hands were starting to tingle and my eyes were starting to water. I was screaming at myself to be a man. Men don't cry. They especially don't stalk gorgeous heiresses then cry when said heiress rejects them. They get over it and move on.

Just like what Rhonda wanted to do. Get over it and move on. It hurts.

Stupid me, it was my idea. I forgot that there was a fifty per cent chance she will actually agree to move on.

My throat was getting scratchy and the silence mixed with the agony of another heartbreak was unbearable. I babbled on. "I mean, it'll be easier for us to forget the whole episode and start over, with the tutoring and such. I think we can communicate better if we put it past us. You know, all that stuff… It's just, it's in the past. Nothing we can do about it now."

It was awkward. I did not want her to know her reaction meant so much to me and the lack of anything on her face when she uttered "Yeah" pained me so much it made me want to cry. Because that means that she doesn't care. She doesn't care at all. I tried to change the topic.

"So… you want to get started?" I asked. It took great effort for my voice not to break. I pulled the drawer and turned my back to her so that she wouldn't see I was blinking tears away.

"No. I'm really full. I think I want to lie down for a while," I heard her say. I nodded though I doubted she wouldn't have seen since she has been entranced by the stars on the ceiling since she laid down on my bed. I closed the drawer and sat down by my desk, still facing away from her.

"I'll just sit here until you're ready to start," I said and stared down at my hands. I didn't expect her to reply but she did.

"Curly," she called. I resisted the edge to turn.

"Yeah," I replied, still not turning to her.

"Could you come here?" she asked. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and pasted a fake smile on my face before I faced her.

"Yeah, what is it?" She had her eyes closed. She appeared serene, peaceful, as she laid on my bed. Funny. Not funny ha-ha but ironic. Rhonda Lloyd was lying on my bed looking totally calm. If somebody had told me this months ago I could have sworn they needed more therapy than me. However, this is real. What I see before me is genuine. A picture that would be stored in my mind for life to be glanced at during private moments when Rhonda and I part ways after graduation.

"Come lie down with me?" she said, scooting over a bit but still keeping her eyes closed.

"You want me to what?" I asked, unsure of what I just heard.

"You heard me. Come here," she commanded, this time though, her eyes finally opened and I felt her amber orbs pierce through me before I saw them.

I took a hesitant step, and another, and another, until reached the edge of the bed. She was waiting for me with her wide eyes watching my every move. It was torture. How could she break my heart then lit my body up on fire after only a few moments?

My body sank on the soft mattress and I quickly inhaled Rhonda Lloyd's intoxicating scent. My head felt strangely light and I had to control my hands before they did something crazy. I put them in my pockets.

Rhonda was right beside me. I hear her breathing and I smell her alluring perfume. I could see her dark eyelashes fanning her hazel eyes and her rosy cheeks, flushed. Flushed?

"We should be studying now, Rhonda."

"Boo. You're such a killjoy. If you said we have to start over, we have to do it now. Studying can come later," she said, smiling. "But no introductions! They are so stupid and clichéd and you see them in movies all the time."

"I know," I chuckled and I saw the corners of her eyes crinkling.

"Even if we are starting over, no introductions. I already know your name and you already know mine." Then she was deep in thought again, only gazing at the stars. I don't see why she finds them so fascinating.

"Say, do you remember the first time we met?" she asked, her voice so full of wonder.

"I do," I say with confidence. I do remember. It was a cold and rainy day. Mom sent me to school because dad had to work. As she handed me my Power Rangers lunchbox filled with a box of milk, a Mr. Fudgy bar, an apple and two ham sandwiches in comes this adorable girl with shiny black hair tied into pigtails. She was beaming happily, hugging a stuffed brown teddy bear while holding a man's hand. I did not know for sure back then that the man was her father but I suspected he must be.

She looked around the room in wonder as if she wanted to absorb everything that she was seeing. Her eyes scanned the room some more then they fell on me. She smiled. A whole smile. A big smile that lit up her face until I did not even noticed I whispered, "Pretty."

My mom grinned. "What's pretty?" she asked and turned to see what I was looking at. When she saw Rhonda, her grin got even wider. "Oh, I see. I do agree she's pretty." Rhonda then turned and walked away with her dad, disappearing behind the brown door that led towards the classroom.

I nodded and mom patted my head, holding a finger out. She squatted so that her eyes were level with mine. She was still grinning, although this time it was a small grin. "But my dear Thaddeus, remember, prettiness is not the only thing that's important. You have to know how the person is inside because most of the time the inside is more important than the outside," mom said and she winked. She hugged me and whispered, "You be a good boy now and don't be shy. Try to make friends. I know that everyone will just love you."

I let go of her and clutched my lunchbox.

"Really? What was the first thing I said to you?" Rhonda's voice interrupted the memory. My head turned to her so we were staring at each other's eyes. Her eyes were wide and glassy. I smiled.

"You remember that game? That introduction game that our loony teacher forced us to play," I asked.

She nodded with her hazel eyes still trained on me. "I do. We have to introduce ourselves then say something interesting about ourselves and compliment the person we're introduced to."

"You strolled in front of me and I said my name was Thaddeus but you can call me Curly just like the guy from the Three Stooges and you gave me this haughty look," I told Rhonda and gave her a pointed look. She cracked another smile. "Then you said, 'Hmph… Thaddeus, is it?'" I mimicked in a snobbish, girly voice.

Rhonda laughed out loud as she gestured for me to continue.

"'Your glasses are the most hideous things I have ever seen.' That was it. Day one and you already broke my heart," I said lightly.

"I did not say that!" she protested after guffawing until tears were streaming down her face. "God! Was I such a bitch?"

"You're not a bitch," I said seriously and she stopped laughing. I continued. "Sure, you were conniving, supercilious, egotistical, obnoxiou-"

"Hey! That's quite enough," she said, pursing her lips.

"You may be all those things but you were never a bitch," I said with finality. Rhonda smiled contently at the ceiling. What is so freaking interesting about my ceiling? "What are you smiling for?"

"I could stare at your ceiling for hours."

_OFTEN, THADDEUS HAS DREAMS OF YOU DOING THAT, WITH HIM ON TOP OF YOU, OF COURSE._

_Would you just go way? You're irritating!_

_AWW… DON'T BE LIKE THAT, THADDEUS. I'M HURT. AND I KNOW YOU SECRETLY LIKE ME._

_No. I'm quite sure I don't._

_FINE, I'LL GO AWAY…_

"You never made my life boring, you know," she whispered.

I smiled secretly. "I'm glad to know that."

"I really regret saying the things I did. I thought if I just…"

"You know what? It's fine. And I thought we're over that since we're starting over and everything," I asked and exhaled. How many times did she have to bring it up?

"I know but… I still want to make it up to you."

"How?" I asked, truly interested.

"I'll think of something. Wait, what do you want most right now?" she teased me lightly.

To kiss you actually, I wanted to say.

"A million dollars, a collection of all of Nirvana's albums and a new bike."

She giggled and replied, "Tsk tsk, so materialistic."

"Well, I am talking to an heiress who just asked me what I want."

"True, true… but what do you really want?" her wide eyes, her beautiful amber eyes looked at me expectantly.

"You thought I was joking when I said I wanted a new bike and a million dollars," I answered flatly. Her expectant gaze turned into a glare.

I stretched my arms and put my hands under my head as I pondered on a question I would like to ask her. "How about you? What do you want?"

By the long silence that followed, I could tell she was thinking it over, then she replied something I never would have thought Rhonda would say. "I would like to graduate. I would like to graduate and go to fashion school. I want to learn how to design clothes, sew, no fur of course, I learnt my lesson in the fourth grade…"

I smirked. I was pretty sure she did too. "Point taken."

"PETA would probably storm my store and boycott my brand," she joked.

I nodded. "That's what you want to do?"

She did not speak immediately again so she was probably thinking it over.

"Yeah…" she stated dreamily, sighing at the grand thought, "I know it's not much but it's really what I want to do."

"I think you'll be a great designer," I reassured her.

I sensed Rhonda rolling over to her stomach and I felt her squeezing my arm. I looked up to see her peering over my face with such vulnerability in those gorgeous amber eyes. She smiled shyly, the edges of her lips curving upwards sensuously. That was when I got the idea.

"You really think so?" she asked hopefully, uncertainty filled her face.

"I do," I said.

Then I put my hand at the back of her head, pulled her down and kissed her.


	17. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

RHONDA

All I knew was one moment I was staring into his eyes, the next I was kissing him. I was shocked but after our lips touched, when I felt his tongue tasting my lower lip, I sighed then gasped. It felt amazingly magical like I was floating in space and everything felt light and wonderful and… It was so gentle. The lightest of touch. Like a feather had landed softly on my lips.

It quickly took a surprising turn, mostly because of me. I felt that gentle wasn't enough so I put my hands on the side of his face and straddled him. Yes, straddled him. Him. Thaddeus 'Curly' Gammelthorpe. And it felt so good. I didn't want to get off him. I wanted to egg him on. At that time, I didn't know why. I just listened to what my body told me. And it wanted to feel Curly against it. It wanted my hands to touch every part of him.

It was turning out to be the best kiss of my life.

I moaned loudly when his tongue went inside my mouth but it wasn't gross like I always thought it would be. It was sensual. It stroke my own tongue and I was gripping his shirt due to the thrill of the contact. It was all a haze. Like I wasn't the one kissing him but was the one witnessing the event.

His frantic breaths warmed my face as his hands explored my back, playing with my bra straps. Needless to say, they were underneath my shirt. Touching. Rubbing. It felt so delicious that I didn't stop him.

He flipped me over and suddenly he was on top and I was the one lying on the bed. I don't know how that happened and it was amazing because we didn't even break the kiss. I don't know why I felt incredible being pinned to the bed. It excited me even more than I possibly thought I could be excited.

I may have weird fetishes. Is that considered a fetish?

Suddenly breaking the kiss, he went on to my neck, planting kisses and muttering my name over and over again. I kept hearing so so beautiful as he buried his nose on the crook of my neck.

He made me feel so so beautiful.

Thaddeus' lips found mine again as his right hand sneakily made its way under my shirt. His nimble fingers were already playing with the edge of my bra and the expanse of skin beneath it. But I wanted more contact. It was not enough. My body demanded me to wrap my legs around him, so I did.

Sensational, was what it was. It fuelled the fire burning inside me into a scorching, raging inferno.

Then it was like my hips had a mind of their own. They wanted to be closer to him. Hence, the grinding. I'm not proud of that one. It made me seem like a horny teenager and I thought I had more control than that but it was absolutely worth it when I heard him groan roughly. It was a guttural sound that awakened something primal inside me that needed to be unleashed.

What wasn't worth it was when he stopped, broke the kiss and pulled away.

After that, he said something I really did not want to hear. We were staring at each other, panting, his hands planted near the sides of my face. His eyes had fire inside them but I also saw something else that I have never seen there before.

Fear.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Rhonda. I shouldn't have," he apologized repeatedly, stumbling out of bed. He then paced back in forth on the bedroom floor. I stared at him, mildly amused because he was reacting like this but then slightly irritated that he broke such an awesome kiss. But if we kept on kissing, I was certain that things could have gotten further… Was I ready for that?

My body was. It was like I wanted to consume him. That was wrong. It shouldn't be like that. It's like that Christina Aguilera song.

"Are you done freaking out?" I asked softly. He immediately stopped and turned towards me.

"Freaking out? I'm not!" he almost yelled like he was angry at something. He pointed a finger at me shakily then dropped his arm to his side. My left brow rose to tell him I was still waiting for an answer.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair repeatedly.

"I'm sorry, Rhonda. I shouldn't have done that. It was a mistake…"

"A mistake?" I mimicked. He looked pained but I continued and got off his bed. I marched towards him.

"Why can't you say the word kiss? Why did you have to refer to our kiss as that? Huh? A mistake! Did it feel wrong? Didn't you like it? What made you-"

He cut me off by grabbing my shoulders and capturing me with his penetrating gaze that forced me to look back.

He started yelling, "I liked it! That's the problem! I liked it a little too much! I like kissing you Rhonda but I'm sorry I started it! I'm sorry, okay? We both want to move on! Heck, we even talked about starting over, alright!" I was so taken aback I couldn't say anything. He let me go and turned away as if he was ashamed.

Then I realised what he was angry at, more like who he was angry at.

He was angry at himself.

I wanted to hug him to reassure him but I didn't. I couldn't. He needed to deal with it himself. When he faced me again his head hung low and tears were brimming at his eyes. I wanted to wipe them away, to get closer to him, but I stood my ground. Let him say it all out.

His voice cracked as he said, "It's just so hard, you know? I just want- I need…"

He sighed. "Maybe it's best for us to stay away from each other. You need to find another tutor. Being near each other is no good. I need to stay away from you."

"So you're basically running away? I never knew you were such a coward. The Curly I know is brave," I stated firmly.

"The Curly you knew was also crazy, reckless and impulsive. Not caring about what will be the reaction of the girl he liked if he suddenly just jumped half-naked in the middle of her date. That Curly's gone. He grew up. Nobody needs him anymore, especially me," he placed a thumb on his chest.

Oh, how wrong he was.

"I need him," I whispered. I didn't want him to hear but he did because I saw his eyes widen.

Eventually, as I stood inside his room, the flood of emotions I was feeling was just too much for me to bear. From lust to anger to pity to understanding to…

I wanted to breathe. I just couldn't deal with what was going on anymore. I wanted to run away too. Like him. I guess we really are a match because we are both cowards. Even if that's the case, I'm not giving up.

"I don't think we'll be able to study after whatever in the world just happened," I stated glumly. "But I'm not getting another tutor. I'll talk to you when you've cooled down."

I gave him a peck on his tear-stained cheek and left his room. I saw Theodora in the living room watching something Mexican and I bid her goodbye. She was shocked to see me leave so early but I just shrugged saying it ended earlier than expected as I had things to take care of.

I knew she wasn't convinced.

But I walked straight through their front door and as I stood outside his house I stared at the window on the second storey that had light coming from it. I smiled sadly.

He'll come for me. He always does. All I have to do now is wait.

….

Three weeks have passed, and I'm close to having a mental breakdown. Finals are coming and I so don't have any idea what I'm doing. I am studying everyday with Nadine(an expert at biology) and Lila(history expert, don't ask me why or how). They help but I wish he's the one helping me. We're back to not acknowledging each other's presence and I was sick of it. I want to talk to him. I want to touch him. To kiss him. To listen to his voice… but alas, no, I have to control myself.

I watch him when we're in the cafeteria, with freshmen girls staring at him. I grit my teeth and look away.

I see him when I'm cheering at football and basketball games. He's always with Arnold and the other boys. He's doing everything he can to not look at me.

I look at him in class. He sits in the front. I think he's doing it on purpose so that he won't see me. He always sits at the back. Sitting at the front makes it more likely for you to get called by the teacher to answer questions. He doesn't want be bothered in class. He just wants to sleep. But now it seems like he'll sacrifice sleep, just so that he can ignore me.

That hurt the most.

I'm currently at the library where I'm writing an essay about how Romeo and Juliet is not a tragedy, which is our topic for the assignment, and I just can't think of why it's not a tragedy. They don't get together. They die. That's pretty freaking sad and if that does not qualify as a tragedy, I don't know what will. And I'm suppose to think of good things about them dying? About Romeo poisoning himself while Juliet stabs herself?

I'm feeling quite sorry for them. They die because of a misunderstanding which, if you ask me, is pretty stupid.

I've only written my name on my sheet of paper. That is all I have accomplished in two hours. I am pathetic.

Wait. Wait!

WHAT AM I SAYING? I'm Rhonda Lloyd! I'm a Lloyd! I'm fine without him. I can do my homework without him! We Lloyd's always pull through, especially when times are tough.

I look at my name on the paper, the only thing that's on the paper, if you exclude the printed lines and the margin. I let my head drop to the table and bang my forehead against the wood.

Who am I kidding?

Myself, basically.

I sigh and glance around the library through strands of my hair. I am the only one left. Not counting Marge the librarian who's looking oddly at me right now, not that I blame her. What am I doing here?

I get up and leave, past the rows of shelves of books and the desks and empty tables I walk, until I reached the glass door that lead out of the library which I forgot to mention was freezing cold. The school hallways look empty. There are no more students in the school at this time. The always crowded hallways feel deserted and lonely without the throng of students that occupy it. I move towards the lockers. It was quite dark, so when my phone buzzed I jumped about fifteen feet in the air, almost to the ceiling.

"What the hell?" I swore. I check my pink, customised cellphone. There was a text.

JULY 18 2011 5:48 PM

FROM: BITCH FROM HELL

Oh, it's from Kelly. What does she want? To insult my hair again?

U R INVITED TO PARTY AT MY PLACE! BRING DRINKS, FOOD, A DATE AND A SMILE! LOL! THIS IS TO CELEBRATE THE END OF OUR UPCOMING FINALLLLLSSSS! COME AT 7:00 ON AUG 6! BRING A SWIMSUIT TOO JUST IN CASE ;) LUV ALL OF YA AND HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

Oh, wow. A party. Should I go?

Nah. As if.

My phone rang again. It's Grace.

"You coming?" she asked. She sounded really bored, can't blame her. She's probably studying the gazillion extra electives that she decided to take.

"Nah. It's probably going to be full of sweaty, drunk teenagers grinding against each other. No thanks," I say as I opened my locker, take my homework out and slam the damn thing.

"Isn't that your scene?" she chuckles on the other line.

"No! When I throw parties, they are not full of drunken people dry-humping to rap music. My parties are classy and sophisticated with elegant music and people dressed in their best clothes. Having fun."

"Bo-ring!" she coughs oh-so subtly.

"Oh! And I suppose little miss goody two shoes Grace Mercy knows how to throw a party?" I ask innocently.

"You got me there… but seriously, you're not coming? It's after finals. I'm graduating. I want to have fun with the girls from the squad and I want YOU there," she says convincingly.

I trap the phone between my shoulder and my cheek as I pushed open the door that led to the parking lot. My car is the only car left.

"I'll consider it," I reply huffily.

"That's my girl. Goodnight and goodbye," she says and hangs up.

I breathe a sigh and enter my car. Hopefully, Nadine and Lila are free tonight.

….

"So are you going?" Nadine hops excitedly on Lila's bed. We're currently at her house which was the first place I thought of going as soon as I entered my car. Luckily, both of them were already here. Doing homework and studying. We really have transformed into nerds.

Lila has her red hair piled atop her head and is wearing a track pants and a big t-shirt that says He's Got The Whole World In His Hands (He must have pretty big hands). Nadine's wearing a grandma sweater that has holes in it, a bohemian skirt and her soda pop, gigantic glasses. She has her massive curls in a ponytail. Then there's me, out of all of us I am the one who looked the most fabulous with my black leggings and my red, mid-thigh, sleeveless dress.

We are in our element. These are the clothes we are most comfortable in and I have found out that comfort matters a lot when you're studying. Information that I don't intend to use after I've graduated from high school just tend to stick to my mind better when I'm comfortable.

Lila rolls her eyes and smile as Nadine continues to bounce on the bed. "Tell me!" she squeals.

"I'm not going," I declared even though I felt bad since I told Grace I'll consider.

Nadine pouts and Lila shrugs, taking her place beside me on her own ginormous bed. "I think Rhonda's decision is right. People become irresponsible when they have consumed too much alcohol and this happens a lot in these types of parties."

"Oh shut up, Lila," Nadine says but Lila just laughs. "Do you know how many hot guys are going to be there?"

"Oh, so now you're interested in something else than plants, insects and animals? This is a very, very unusual day, don't you think, Lila?" I imitate Peapod Kid and Lila giggles. Needless to say, Nadine's eyes turned into narrow slits, she crossed her arms and pouted her lips. I could almost see smoke coming from her ears.

"You HAVE to come! Have to!" she whines and I pretend I don't hear her as I pay an enormous attention to my Chemistry book, my eyes so close to the page that atoms were starting to double.

"I told Grace I'll consider it so stop pestering me. We all have finals to study for so can we just do that right now? Study, I mean. And why are you pushing for this? Why?" I ask her, getting a little bit suspicious here. Nadine has never been a party enthusiast.

She gulps and Lila and I smirk. I see.

Lila then decides to state the obvious. "It's because Jared Greene is going to be there."

At that statement, Nadine turns beetroot red and starts sputtering. "NO! No! It's not that! I swear! He's the furthest thing from my mind. Really! Guys! Stop it!"

Lila and I fall on the bed rolling over in laughter while Nadine kept denying her massive crush on the handsome and smart junior.

"You know it'll be easier if you just give up," I managed to say before a fit of laughter shook my body again. Lila nodded. She was finally sitting upright and has stopped laughing.

Nadine looks away, eventually she whispers, "Fine. You win. I want to go because he's going to be there. Happy now?"

"Very!" we chorused.

"Good. Now that that's settled, can you please, for the love of all things red, go to the party, Rhonda?" she pleaded, her eyes just the right amount width to make her look innocent and pitiful. I give up. "Come on! It'll give me more confidence if my super popular best friend makes an appearance."

"Alright, I'm going." I threw my hands up in the air in surrender as Nadine squeals loudly, jumping with Lila on the bed. Maybe I have come to the wrong place tonight. I should have headed home so that I can study in peace.

"Hey! Guys! Do you mind? I'm trying to learn Chemistry here. We really need to get back to studying," I yell over the noise of them squealing. This effectively stopped them from turning Lila's bed into a freaking trampoline.

They snicker and I think I hear the word 'nerd' being repeatedly whispered.

I tried to look pissed off but deep inside I have huge smile on my face.

….

At 10 I bid Lila and Nadine farewell and drove home listening to old Ronnie Matthews CDs that I have no idea why I haven't thrown away yet. I guess I'm still clinging to my childhood. I bop my head to the music and when I stopped at the traffic light I turn my head suddenly to face the car window when the "WOW!" part came during the song I Saw Your Face and Wow.

I made a child in the other car cry. Okay.

Never dancing while I'm in a car ever again. Never.

Since I'm still in a pretty good mood and I know that no one is going to be at home (dad's at a board of directors meeting and mom is at a dinner party) and I'm also super hungry, I stop by Sushi Palace to buy my dinner and guess who's there?

Yes. Kelly and Darcy, the witches from the squad, apparently they eat fish too. Funny, I thought their diets consist mainly of small children and broken hearts. I put my best fake smile. They're with a group of guys from the baseball team whose names I can't remember but let me just say that even though Kelly and Darcy maybe the worst condescending bitches on the planet, they have good taste in guys.

I'm impressed. Although, not by much.

"Rhonda! So lovely to see you here!" Kelly says loudly (attention whore) and everyone and their table looks at me, not that I don't appreciate the guys eyeing me lustfully. Checking me out, huh? Aren't you with Kelly and Darcy? I take back what I said about their taste in men.

Kelly stands up from her seat, comes toward me then kisses me on the cheek.

Eww. Germs. Remind me to wipe my cheek later.

"Ah! Kelly! Hi, Darcy! I received your invite!" I say happily. Yes, I know what you're thinking. No worries, fake happiness ooze out of my pores easily just like sweat.

"Yeah! It's going to be such a blast! Soooooo are you coming?" Darcy asks from their table.

I beam and reply, "Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world! It's so nice to see you here but I must dash. I have things to do."

"You should stay. We're ordering sake, you should come join us," one of the guys say suggestively and from my peripheral I could see Kelly's face twist as if she bit a lemon then she quickly covered it up with a smile.

"I really can't, bye boys. Bye, Kelly, Darcy!" I wave.

As soon as I turned my back, I heard Kelly say, "Did you see? She's here to buy food that she's probably going to barf out later but once she saw us she decided she's not going to eat anything at all. She must be like so embarrassed. Eating disorders must be like so horrible."

"Look at her. She already looks like a twig. If she doesn't eat soon she might vanish into thin air," Darcy comments and all of them laugh.

Ha ha. Very funny, girls. How truly freaking original.

I didn't say anything even if the urge to was overwhelming. I held it in because I know every (female) dog has its day. And once that day comes, be assured that Rhonda Lloyd is going to have front row seats.

When I walked out of the restaurant, crossed over the parking lot and got into my car, I realised I'm still so hungry so I decided to swing by somewhere else where there are no stench, you know who I'm talking about, that will hover and stick to my food.

Mc Donalds.

Eating disorder my ass, I thought as I passed through the drive thru and bought myself a Big Mac, fries, a hot fudge sundae and a diet coke. After all, I am trying to watch my diet.

I sped home, parked my car in the garage, ran to my bedroom and stuffed my face with artery-clogging crap that left me feeling satisfied. A feeling I haven't had in ages.

One word. Yummy.

My secret love for fast food may be the death of me but I wouldn't stop for anything in the world. Okay, maybe for twenty pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes every month for the rest of my life I'll stop.

I lie in bed full and happy when my phone rang. It was Salt-n-Pepa's Push it.

"Hello," I answer.

"Hey, Rhonda," a voice I've been wanting to hear for three weeks now greets on the other line.

"Hey yourself. Why'd you call?" I ask, truly curious as to why he will.

"To ask whether you're available tomorrow. I'm still your tutor after all and I can still help you with things you need to know for the finals," he answers earnestly and I smile.

"What if I'm not free?" I coyly answer.

"Your loss," he states with complete nonchalance. O-kay. Apparently, he still hasn't completely cooled down.

"Alright, I'm your girl. I'll be there tomorrow. Ask your mom to cook something especially delicious, bye!" I hang up because I knew I would not be able to bear it if he did.

So I'm coming over tomorrow to his place. He needs to calms down and see that the kiss was definitely not a mistake. I'm going to help him do that.

Hopefully, he'll be cooperative.


	18. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

**CURLY**

Damn it. Just damn, damn, damn it! That's all I could think of after Rhonda and I shared that magnificent kiss. The one that left me breathless at night after waking up drenched in sweat, dreaming about that moment…

Heck, even daydreaming about that kiss gives me shivers. I'm not exaggerating.

But I wonder what Rhonda thinks of me now. After I pushed her away and avoided her like the plague after I forced a kiss on her. In my room. It's as bad as if I attacked her, I realised. Just like the times in elementary when I would maul her and force her to kiss me. I feel so ashamed.

Did I really force the kiss? She kissed me back, didn't she? Enthusiastically, if I recall correctly but I doubt my brain was functioning right during that cloud nine high when Rhonda's lips met mine.

What am I doing? What if she just kissed me back hoping that I would get off her? Did she kiss me back because she wants to or because as she was just humouring me since I'm her tutor? She put her arms around me. And she wrapped her legs around my waist… That counts for something, right?

Or maybe…

"Thaddeus, I think you're overthinking this. You kissed her back and she kissed you, right? So that means you've made quite the progress there. And she also said she wanted you to be brave, that's what you have to be, brave," Dr. Amelia Bliss said gently as she took down some notes after processing what I just said.

Currently, I'm sitting across the pretty woman wearing glasses with short brown hair that suited her pixie face. This woman has helped me a lot. She's been my therapist for almost 9 years and I trust her enough to share every tiny detail of my life. That's her job, to keep it a secret. Used to be, my sessions were three times a week, nowadays their only monthly. She says I've been improving. I say I've been improving too.

"Brave?" I say as I reach for the glass of water on the table.

"Yes, Thaddeus, brave. Rhonda's feelings for you may have changed. Instead of finding you…er…"

"Annoying and repulsive?" I completed the sentence.

"No. Instead of wanting you to go away because you were always around her, she wants you back because to her, you're the only thing constant. You were always there. Always answering to her every whim then suddenly you weren't and that's a big change for both of you. An enormous change. What I'm trying to say is that maybe Rhonda doesn't see you as annoying or repulsive anymore."

"Hey!" I yell.

"Maybe she needs you and it took your absence for her to realise that. We always want what we can't have. Getting you back, Rhonda sees it as a challenge now so she's convinced herself that she likes you just so that you'd be back in her life again."

"So, you're saying she doesn't really like me but she kissed me because she's convinced that she likes me? That's complicated," I groan.

"I know. But Thaddeus, I'm not completely sure that this is the case since I've never spoken to Rhonda and you won't tell me more about that night. It could be that Rhonda really likes you now. However, there is a chance that she just misses you because you were always a permanent fixture in her life and you say that she is often ignored by her parents so she's clinging to you."

"I wouldn't say ignored…" I quickly say, feeling bad that I shared Rhonda's home life with Dr. Bliss.

Dr. Bliss nods because she understands, she always does. "Her parents are always busy so she doesn't get to spend much time with them. It is normal for her to feel lonely that's why when you decided you want nothing more to do with her after being there for her for such a long time, you had hurt her."

"Hurt her?" I scoffed.

"Yes, Thaddeus, hurt her." Dr. Bliss says seriously as she looked me in eye. It's scary when she does that, like she knew what's exactly on my mind. Well, she does, she's my therapist but…

"That's what she wanted! She wanted me to leave her alone!"

"Ah… but what we say we want and what we really want are two very different things, aren't they?" Dr. Bliss asks as I think about it. She looks at her wrist watch then smiles sadly at me.

"That's all the time we have for now, Thaddeus. I'll see you next month?" she says as she wrote down final notes on my file. She glanced up and gave me another smile. "Don't worry about it, Thaddeus. You'll be fine. Rhonda will be fine. You just need to remember to be brave like she said and everything will work out. Say hello to your mom for me."

I get out of her office, truly shaken. Be brave. She said I had to be brave. Since when was Curly a wimp? Since Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was put on his path, that's when. But, she's just a girl.

No, not just any girl. She's Rhonda.

The one I had a crush on. The one that might like me back or has convinced herself she likes me back. And somehow all that thinking just got me a headache.

As I ride the bus home, I think of what I should do when Monday comes.

I can't be brave when Rhonda's involved. The painful memories of that awful night reopened wounds in my heart that I did not even knew existed. This time, rejection would not sting, it would rip me apart. I can't go through that, not again. I should just stay as far away as possible from her.

So I did. And for two whole weeks, I was miserable.

…..

"Alright, I'm your girl…" Rhonda said softly through the phone after I called her just because I could not resist. I reached my breaking point. I had to hear her voice. I played so aloof that even I assured myself that I didn't want to talk to her.

_Alright, I'm your girl…_ I didn't hear anything after that. The sentence repeatedly flashed through my mind. I didn't even notice the long beeeeep that followed after she hung up. She was my girl? Really?

I almost laughed. Oh, Rhonda. If she only knew. How long have I wanted to make her my girl? Ever since I joined the education system? I've jumped through flaming hoops for that girl and what do I get? Uncertainty, that's right.

She might like me. She might not. Ahh, it's just too confusing. Should I even bother?

Is Rhonda even worth it?

_IS SHE? ASK YOURSELF THAT._

_I am. Why are you here again?_

_YOU'RE DOUBTING YOURSELF AGAIN._

_I'm not. I'm doubting… I don't even know what I'm doubting anymore._

_I KNOW._

_What?_

_YOURSELF, YOU'RE DOUBTING YOURSELF. SILLY NILLY THADDEUS, RHONDA'S A PART OF YOU, YOU DOUBT RHONDA, YOU DOUBT CURLY._

_Some part._

_YES, BUT STILL A PART. NEVER FORGET THAT…_

I sighed as I finished another round of ridiculous talk with the voice in my head. I hated that voice. But sometimes he made sense, this time though, I just shook my head and went down the stairs to talk to my mom.

…..

We had only one class together so it didn't take much of my effort to not look at her. I just ignored her even though she was coming to my house later. She can ride her car there. I'm not waiting for her.

"Is something bothering you, Curly?"

"Huh? Oh, Arnold. What's up?" I ask playfully.

Arnold looks at me weirdly, along with Gerald, Sid and Stinky.

"Man, what's up? What's up with _you_, Curly?" Gerald says as he slaps my back. I wince, Gerald has a good arm and dang, that hurt.

"Nothing, really," I mumble as I try to shuffle along the hallways with them.

"Gee, Curly, you still sad about Miss Lloyd?" said Stinky.

"Or is it that hot babe Stinky and I saw at that diner, eh?" added Sid earning him my scare-the-fish-away glare. He visibly gulped while Arnold's and Gerald's eyebrows almost shoot up to their hairline in shock.

"I done think so too, Sid but I don't think that's what's weighin' on Thaddeus' mind," Stinky drawled.

"A hot girl?" Gerald said after he got over the shock while the rest kept quiet. "You mean Curly actually has moves?"

"Apparently, if he can catch a fish like that. And man, what a fish! I tell you she's gorgeous! About six feet and those legs, tho-" Sid started to say but got cut off by Arnold.

It actually felt nice to be the center of attention. I just shut my mouth through the whole ordeal.

"Guys, I think Curly wants to be left alone. Maybe he'll discuss it with us when he's ready," Arnold said as the guys nodded in agreement looking guiltily at me. I shrugged.

"We'll see you around, Thad," Gerald said happily with another pat on my back and another wince from me. All the other guys said their goodbyes too and I headed to class.

What was that interrogation all about? Were they concerned about me?

Pssh. I'm fine. No, really, I am.

Or so I keep telling myself.

…

I was in the middle of reading my history book when she barrelled into my room through the door. She looked amazing, as always. Well put together, standing like a beautiful Amazon ready for battle. Determination showed in her face. What was she so determined about? I asked myself as I scanned the whole of her. From her short, glossy dark hair to her red sneakers. Funny, I figured Rhonda Lloyd to be a girl more likely to wear high heels rather than sneakers but most of the time, when she's out of school, that is what I see her wearing. I guess I don't know her as much as I thought.

"Hello, Curly," she said cool voice as she sauntered in and plopped on my bed. The bed that I was lying on. She was extremely indifferent to that fact.

"Ready to get started with homework?" I asked and sat up, closing my dull history book. When I sat up, I realised that I was closer to Rhonda than I would have liked. She was about a breath away from me. I stared into those hazel eyes. They appeared green at that moment. Great, beautiful, round eyes. Pulling me in. Asking me to take a chance. They were anticipating something. I blinked and turned away. Getting up from the bed hastily, I didn't hear what she whispered under her breath.

Then she spoke up, "I don't know why you're running away from me."

"I'm not!" I lied.

"Yes, you are. What are you so scared of, anyway? I'm still me. You used to love being near me," she said with such melancholy and wonder in her voice.

"You're imagining things, Rhonda," I said and readied the studying materials we needed. Notebook, papers, pens and books. Everything I could grab to keep my hand busy. I was afraid I was going to do something crazy. Just being near her, smelling her scent, seeing her glowing skin, it was making me crazy. And I needed a very firm grip. On reality. On anything. As long as what I grip is not Rhonda Lloyd.

"Curly, please don't be scared. It's just me, Rhonda and I… Well, really now, it's, you know…" I heard her whisper and sigh, the sound louder than I expected. I turned around and she was there. Looking up at me, with those huge eyes. Expectant. Again, like she was waiting for something. What did she want from me? I couldn't offer her anything.

"What?" I snapped, exasperated. Just sick of everything, sick of the games we were playing. Again and again.

She didn't respond. She just closed her eyes, leaned forward and kissed me. She kissed me on the lips. I stood still in shock, my eyes wide, as her lips moved over mine. She gripped the hem of my shirt, begging with her tongue for me to open my mouth. I wanted to be swept away. I almost closed my eyes but at the last second, I gripped her shoulders and pushed her away from me.

The surprise was evident in her face with her jaw hanging wide open and her eyes wide and gleaming. I expected that reaction. What I didn't expect was when her face twisted as if she was in pain then her eyes started to glisten as they filled with her unshed tears.

I had hurt her.

Dr. Bliss was right. Rhonda saw me as a challenge when I seemed uninterested in her. And now she has lost. That's why there was the waterworks. I forgot for a moment that Rhonda Lloyd hated losing. I watched, almost bemused as she put a hand to her mouth and held back a choked sob. She didn't dare look at me. I just watched her scurried out of my room and out of my life. Hopefully for the rest of my life. So she will not tempt me again. And play me for a fool just because she was desperate for a friend. A listening ear. Someone to hang around with when she's lonely.

But then she glanced at me one last time before she went through my bedroom door. A look that would surely haunt my dreams.

A look of the broken hearted.

And for a while I wasn't sure of what to think. I blinked then closed my eyes. Her one last look still burnt into my retinas.

* * *

><p><strong>RHONDA<strong>

I guess you could say I suck at life. I failed at almost everything. When a great boy who loved me was thrown my way, I pushed him away. When the same boy got over me, I wanted him back. Back with me. Just how everything was supposed to be, normal. (In)Sane. Wonderful.

So I guess I'm at fault, I'm at fault for breaking my own heart and getting stung by rejection as I kissed him and he pushed me away. I recoiled as I remembered the sight of his face. A mixture of anger and disbelief. I'm at fault for causing myself to cry as I sped in the expressway, heading to anywhere but my house. I had cash. I could stay somewhere for the night. Instead, I braked the car by the side of the road, rested my head on the steering wheel and sobbed.

Big, salty tears streaked through my face and I sniffled until I had a headache. I cried and cried until I was all cried out. What was I doing? Why am I so sad? I was just rejected, I've been rejected before. And what's worse, I was rejected by Curly. A total nobody.

Or was he?

He was somebody. To me, he's more than just a somebody.

Am I really in love? Or just delusional?

Was this what love is supposed to feel like? Like there's a big gaping hole in your chest?

Whoever invented this feeling really blows. If he's not dead already, I would kill him. Yes, I said he. Only a man could invent a feeling as horrible as this. I felt empty. And all cried out. There was no use crying over him.

But I couldn't stop… Am I weak?

For wanting him back. For making a wish that I was still the center of his universe. For believing he never got over me, that he was just pretending to not care. Is that weakness?

What if he doesn't care about me anymore?

That thought scared me the most.

Shakily, I continued to drive away from Hillwood.

* * *

><p><strong>CURLY<strong>

I came to work the next night. The itch back in my hands. I wanted to do something crazy. Something wild. Instead, I kept myself busy taking orders, clearing and cleaning up tables and conversing with customers about pizza toppings.

I should have never invited Rhonda to my house. It was a stupid thing to do, I realise that now. I only made things between us worse. Actually, I should have never kissed her in the first place. Never got into my bed to lay down with her and discuss personal things. Things I don't normally share. Things that she doesn't normally share.

However, when I was in that moment, it felt natural, like how things were supposed to be. It felt right. I only regret that the kiss came between us, not the feelings I felt when I was caressing her lips with mine. It's all my fault. It's OUR fault, I guess. Got too carried away.

"You're looking quite forlorn again, loverboy," Angela said as we stood side by side in front of the counter, wiping drinking glasses a little after closing time.

"Oh," I gave her a weak smile that she didn't exactly see. "Just some stuff going on…"

"Rhonda?" I could sense her watching me. "I knew it. Only she could mess you up like this. What'd the little heiress do now?"

"Nothing," I grumbled, pleading with her to not continue discussing the issue with me. I took another glass and wiped it.

She put down the glass she was wiping with such force that it made a terrible sound. Angela glared at me and said coarsely, "Stop bullshitting me, Thaddeus or I'm going to tell your momma! Something happened and it's bringing you down. I'm not stupid. Don't say 'nothing' and expect me to nod and smile and go along with that. What happened? We're all concerned."

"Yeah? You and who else?" I yelled, angry at her sudden outburst and insistence on carrying on with this topic. It's my problem, not hers.

She sighed then closed her eyes. "Tony. Tony and the staff's worried about you. For days you have been going back and forth from pissed off to depressed to just fine and then suddenly you become so lost in your own thoughts you almost got hit by a car last night when you crossed the road. I don't know what's going on and since I'm a CONCERNED friend, I'm asking."

"She kissed me," I said flatly. I could only focus on the floor.

"Okay, so isn't that like a dream come true for you?" she asked, her disappointment and irritation all in her tone.

"I pushed her away," I said, finally having the courage to look at Angela's face.

At first, nothing happened. Then her eyes got wide and her mouth formed an O then suddenly, scoffing and side-splitting laughter.

"You got to be shitting me, right?" she asked, in the middle of laughing. I'm really glad she's very amused. At my expense.

I gritted my teeth.

"It's not funny!" I yelled like petulant child but I didn't care. I continued wiping glasses and tried to ignore her shrieks of laughter.

"So that's it? I thought it was something huge, like I don't know, she's dating a hot guy and you at the same time… I don't know. But really, that's it? What's the problem?" she asked after she recovered.

"It's complicated," I just said.

"Why?" she told me, completely perplexed.

So I told her the whole story, my meeting with Dr. Bliss, that I'm convinced Rhonda just wants me back because she's so used to me being her lap dog. I revealed everything to Angela and after the she just nodded and thought about it for a while. After telling my co-worker everything, I felt much better.

"It's simple," she announced, like she had an epiphany.

"What? No, it's not! How can you say that? Were you listening at all?"

"Yes. I listened to every single word and I don't think Rhonda just sees you as some prize to be won or someone to be on her side again because she's lonely. I think she seriously wants you."

That shocked me. That was not what I wanted to hear from Angela. Nor was it what I expected. I didn't believe her for a second.

"You're crazy," I said as I put the last drinking glass on the box and carried it to the kitchen. Angela happily followed me.

"I'm not. I'm right. And deep down, that scares you because what if, what if you really broke Rhonda Lloyd's heart by pushing her away. You just can't live with that, can you?" Angela then bid me goodbye and went through the backdoor.

I stopped, the box weighing heavily on my hands. The implication of her words frightened me more than anything I have ever experience in this world. I gulped and my pulse raced. It was starting to feel a little too cold in the kitchen and a little too quiet.

I tried to push away from my mind what Angela said.

_That scares you because what if, what if you really broke Rhonda Lloyd's heart by pushing her away. You just can't live with that, can you?_

I squeezed my eyes shut and the image of her empty, desolate eyes before she left my bedroom made an appearance.

What was I going to do if what Angela said was the case?

I laughed and shook my head. No way, Angela is just secretly a hopeless romantic. There is no way Rhonda is genuinely hurt I rejected her.

No. Freaking. Way.


	19. CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

**RHONDA**

I stayed the night at a motel about 8 miles from Hillwood, located along the highway. I called my parents that night to tell them that I was sleeping at Nadine's house. They did not seem to mind. They never seemed to mind. I threw my phone inside my backpack, zipped the backpack close then slung it on my left shoulder. I parked the car in one of the empty parking spaces. Actually, I had plenty to choose from but I picked the one nearest the reception area.

My body reacted to the cold night air and goosebumps immediately formed on my skin as I squinted at the bright neon sign that proudly boasted 24 HOURS OPEN.

As I stepped inside Cosy Corners Motel's reception hall, I was hit in full force by the smell of lemon scented air freshener mixed with distinct smell of damp and was greeted by a grim receptionist with peroxide blonde hair bordering on stark white, bright blue eye shadow and spider eyelashes. She was scarily skinny and was watching some reality tv show on the mini television set that was behind the counter. I knew I was overly focusing on little details, but at the moment, it was all I could do to prevent myself from breaking down.

The receptionist's skin seemed almost orange upon a closer look and she didn't notice me approach the counter. Her skin's abnormal glow looked even stranger under the dim yellow lights. I leaned over the counter and focused on the nametag attached to her blouse, just where her huge breasts were. I got a little bit insecured over the fact that mine would never compare to hers.

Ironically enough, her name was Rhonda. I would have laughed if I wasn't so tired from crying that both my eyes and my chest hurt. We were so different. Starting with the fact that my boobs weren't as big as Vin Diesel's head.

"Youse a lesbian?" she drawled with a slight Southern accent as she took note of my eyes on her chest. Her half-lidded gaze that showed how bored she was with her job made me a bit sympathetic. Me staring at her chest was probably the only exciting development of that night.

"No, I'm not. I was just looking at your name tag. I once knew a girl with that name," I said with a tight smile. She snorted then took a thick book that was resting near a potted plant. The sound coming from the television distracted me. The shallow girls featured were discussing tans like it was a matter of national importance.

"Whatever rocks your chair…Would you like a room?" she drawled, licking her finger before skimming through the pages of the thick notebook.

While she was busy with that I looked around the reception area. The stairs were to the left and just a little further than that there was a sofa with ruined upholstery that must be older than me and a coffee table stained with rings and magazines littering its top. From what I saw, the magazines were issues from probably about ten years ago, judging by the clothes the girls that graced the cover wore. Most of the magazines were torn and tattered.

I heard the receptionist sigh so I turned back to her. She grumbled," I don't have all night, girly."

Funny, I was pretty sure she did. It wasn't as if she was going anywhere.

"Yeah, I'd like a room. The best one you have." I didn't really care if it wasn't like the rooms in my house. As long as there's a bed, I was alright with anything.

The receptionist pursed her overly pink lips then drawled as she met my eyes straight on, "That would be the Royal Suite, costs about forty bucks per night."

I didn't say anything after that just handed her a fifty dollars which she enthusiastically took and I wrote on the thick book a fake name. Jessica Rabbit. I don't think she even noticed or care if that was my real name. As long as something was written there. Her sharp, long, lime green nails pierced my hand as she gave me the key attached to a wooden key chain with a number 27 painted on it.

I adjusted my backpack then turned my back on the receptionist. After walking a few steps she called after me, "That would be on the second floor!"

I nodded in acknowledgement and headed for the stairs.

I kept hoping as I climbed the creaky wooden stairs that the room would not be that bad.

…..

The door opened easily with an easy click and I went in the room I got for the night. It smelled of musk. Royal Suite? There was nothing royal about it. Sure the room was clean but the wallpaper was peeling, the ceiling was cracked, the curtains appeared to be mauled by a bear so I didn't dare look at the state of the toilet. At the very least the bed was well made and clean. I dived into it after throwing my backpack somewhere. It smelled clean too, like some fabric conditioner. A familiar scent. It smelled just like… I stopped myself from thinking about it. Little tiny prickles of hurt jabbed at my heart.

I noticed the television set in the corner of the room earlier but was too sleepy for entertainment. I sat up and removed my shoes and saw on the bedside clock that it was only 8:30. So instead of turning on the television to distract myself from thinking too much, I laid down and closed my eyes, stretching then releasing a huge yawn. I never got up from that bed until 3 am in the morning.

I woke up with tears in my eyes in an unfamiliar room. It all came back to me. The kiss. The rejection. The hurt. The humiliation. The sobs. I gritted my teeth and stood up. My brain was already too wired, going back to sleep would be impossible.

He would take me back. I had to make sure of it. He would want me back. How could he not? How could he push me away? How could he?

It was exhausting. Thinking. Sorting out my feelings, my emotions. I felt drained and unrested. It was irritating like an itch on the spot of my back that I just can't reach. My feet reflexively sprang back after touching the cold tile floor but I forced myself to go to the bathroom. The bathroom was surprisingly clean so I just stripped all of my clothes off then went in and turned on the shower. I sat on a little stool the motel provided. I just sat there, under the blasting cold water and it felt really good. Refreshing. Really calming. I played with the water droplets leaving trails on my skin and held my chin up high so that the water will hit my face directly.

I decided to think. It was a good time to think. I should start from the beginning. It's the best way to get organised.

When did all this confusion start?

_Francis_. I heard a voice whisper. Without him, things between Curly and I would have probably always been the same. I hate him and thank him at the same time. If that date never happened, I would have never realised my feelings for Curly and how important he is to me.

My eyes started tearing up again and my hands started to tingle, I knew that complete sadness was taking over again. I want to see him, I realised.

I needed to look at him and talk to him. Just talk to him and hear his voice. Why did I have that strange urge? I would never know but right then and there I decided to feed off that urge.

I got out of the shower and hastily wrapped a towel around me. I left the bathroom in search of a phone, I found it. On the bedside table, a used-to-be-white color. I grabbed it and quickly dialled his number. It was all from memory. My breath hitched in anticipation. It could be a wrong number I've called. Maybe someone else would answer. It was ringing. It took about three rings before a sleepy voice answered, "Hello?"

I couldn't say anything. I just listened to _**his**_ voice. It worked. A traitorous side of me was pleased to be listening to him.

"Who is this? Hello? Hello!" he continued, extremely puzzled as to who could be calling him in the middle of the night.

I wanted to say it's me, Rhonda. I didn't. I just listened, my ears pressed so closely to the phone it hurt. As if being nearer to where the sound of his voice was coming from will bring me closer to him. I closed my eyes and just listened to his deep voice muttering about prank calls and if I didn't answer he'll hung up.

However, I couldn't risk him finding out it's me who called while at the same time, try to stop him from hanging up.

I wanted to try but I had to reveal who I was so that he wouldn't hang up. I kept quiet instead.

He hung up.

There was just a long beep. I still pressed the telephone to my ear, willing it to play his voice over and over again.

It just registered an on-going beeeeeeeeeeeeep.

It appeared as if a metal gate had shut on my soul.

I've gone mad. I think. I started laughing aloud until I was crying loads of tears. I didn't get to sleep after that.

….

I went home the next day. Alive but barely living. I just felt numb and empty. Our security guard stood up quickly as he saw me approaching, then called someone in his walky-talky thingy. I ignored him and strode towards the house. The maid's eyes went wide as I walked in, so did my mom's personal assistant, Laura. They both scurried out of the hallway to go somewhere in a rush. Something was going on but I was too tired and too depressed to care. Instead of asking them why their reaction to seeing me was like that, I just climbed up the stairs to go to my bedroom.

I shut the bedroom door behind me, but five seconds after I did, my father burst into my room. He was angry. There was a vein pumping in his forehead and his eyes were darkly outraged. Angry was an understatement, fury describe my father's emotion's better. His red face revealed it and the words that came out of his mouth were harsh, "Where were you last night? I called Nadine's parents and they had no idea where you were!"

His words came out in such a rush he was panting when he was over screaming at me. "Answer me!"

So he found out. I should have called Nadine and told her to cover for me. I guess I just forgot. My father's fury frightened me. He was not a man who was easily angered. He never lost his cool, even when the snobby neighbours made cutting remarks about everything in our house, he still kept his mouth shut. He said some types of people were just born to bring other people down. Our job was not to be affected by those kinds of people.

Even though my father's sudden and very rare interrogation scared me, anger also simmered deep below until it burst out of me and made me spring to my feet. It was completely ridiculous. His behaviour. How dare he? How dare my father just suddenly demand to know where I was the night before? Did he even care before? I could have ridden a lion and juggled flaming batons in front of him and he still wouldn't have noticed me. I yelled out my frustration over everything, at him.

"Really? You care where I was last night? Now you care? Fantastic! I feel really well loved and special now. Thanks, dad! You're a really swell guy!" I screamed at him. I was seeing red. I just poured all my wrath and irritation at him.

He was surprised that I talked back, he was going to say something else but I opened my mouth faster.

"Only when it seems like I'm in mortal peril then you start showing concern! Father of the year you are! Th-they should have a trophy for men of your calibre. Fine men who raised their daughter's right," I hissed instead of shouting like I wanted to, but I felt so exhausted and so full of emotion, I couldn't. Tears were already streaming down my cheeks but I didn't care. I roughly wiped them away.

My dad, for the first time in my life, looked utterly confused. His brows furrowed and his wide eyes were on me. "What are you talking about, Rhonda?"

"I'm saying you don't care about me, pa," I sighed and sat down at the edge of my bed. The outburst drained all of my remaining energy. My father's mouth was set in a grim line as he inspected me.

His face softened and he said as he shook his head, "That's not true."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. Sniffing pathetically as I avoided looking at him. I was probably the biggest disappointment him and my mother had ever had. No wonder they didn't want to spend time with me. I couldn't even sort out my own life.

"I care about you. I love you. You're my daughter!" he insisted. "Of course, I care!"

"Then you don't show it very often, do you? You and ma shower me with gifts, I'm thankful for them, really. I'm lucky to be living such a life of luxury but sometimes, no, most of the time, I wish you'd give me just a bit of your time instead of those gifts. Talk to me. Listen to me. You don't do any of those. You used to… Now, you don't make time for me. You and mom are always busy running around all over the world caring for your pet causes. Always busy. But what about me, your daughter? Don't you care about me too?" I said, my voice cracking and the tears streaming out of my eyes profusely.

My father was silent for some time. He was thinking things over while I sniffed and wiped all of the tears that seemed to fall on their own accord. Great, now I've turned into the biggest blubbering mess while I have possibly ruined any semblance of relationship with my father.

However, to my great surprise, my father kneeled down in front of me and cupped my chin. He forced me to look at him. His eyes, usually filled with mirth and pride were filled with something else entirely. Smiling sadly, he whispered, "Oh dear Rhonda, I am very sorry you felt that way. Your mother and I are sometimes so occupied with whatever it is we're doing that we forget about you. I know it might seem like we don't love you but we do. Very much. Every time we visit a new country or place we would say 'I think Rhonda would enjoy being here, let's bring her next time' and we talk about how much you've grown and that you're your own person now. We are so proud of you, baby girl."

I stared at him, still unconvinced. He sighed, sensing he hasn't won me over.

They were proud of me? What had I ever accomplished?

"Dear, your mother and I want the world for you but sometimes we forget that you need us too. We are aware and we're working on that. That's why we took a break. A whole month. Just for you. And it starts today. We were going to tell you yesterday but you weren't here. Then you called, told me you were at Nadine's house and quickly hung up. I would have normally just let it go without incident but I was very excited for your mom and I to start spending time with you that we called Nadine since your phone was dead and found out you weren't there. We were so worried, dear. We called the police but they told us they only search for people who have been missing for twenty four hours or more. We were so worried that your mother and I couldn't sleep a wink."

I gawked at my dad. I couldn't believe his story. I just couldn't. It wasn't true. They don't care about me anymore, they used to, but not anymore.

"I don't believe you. I don't believe a single word," I said, dissolving into tears yet again. I repeated it again and again. That I don't believe him. Not one bit. That he was lying.

"We ARE proud of you, my child. You have grown into a beautiful woman, strong and emphatic to people. A woman who is passionate and feels things very deeply as real woman would. You amaze us with your wit and smarts. You are a woman now while your mother and I still see a dark-haired little baby when we look at you."

That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. My crying turned into body-wracking sobs that caused my nose to be stuffed with unmentionable disgusting substance.

My father just put his arms around me and stroked my hair like he used to when I was a kid, making shushing noises that comforted me.

"I'm a mess," I laughed with tears still streaking my face as he let me go. He let out a small smile. It was a true smile. One I haven't seen in quite some time.

"You'll tell me everything though, wouldn't you, darling?" my dad said as he still gave me this very long concerned look that touched my heart.

I nodded then I yawned. Noticing my obvious lack of sleep my father tucked me into bed, like when I was a kid and told me good night. Even though it was 8:23 in the morning.

…..

When I woke up, he and my mother were sitting on my bed, smiling down at me. My mother stroking my hair as my dad held my hand. I told them everything. How Curly had this massive crush on me. How he interrupted my date (the version without him jumping from the bushes half-naked with a plastic sword drawn to kill Francis if he dared touch me). How I told him to leave me alone. How I hurt him. How he ended up as my tutor until to the point when I started to like him and he rejected me. I told them everything except the heated kisses. That, I had enough sense to leave out and keep to myself.

They nodded (in understanding?) after I told my story which confused me but instead of giving me answers they just dragged me to the dining room and forced me to have breakfast. After that, my dad and I went to the entertainment room and played chess. My mother was seated by the side, watching us play.

"So, Thaddeus is the root of all these problems?" my dad asked, dragging his queen diagonally. "Do you want me to go to his house and have a talk with him? I could intimidate him for you. Tell him to leave you alone. Bring a couple of my bodyguards and rough him up a bit."

"For heaven's sake, Buckley! I don't think Rhonda wants that boy to go away. It certainly won't do her good if you meddle either! I think that Rhonda has taken a liking to the boy. Am I right darling?" my mom chimed in with a question directed at me.

"Uh… mom?"

"Don't deny it, sweetheart. We're not idiots. Besides, you just told us earlier you like him. Moreover, you wouldn't be so upset if you don't like the boy so much," my mother said haughtily, in her as-a-matter-of-fact tone. "All this crying and pining. It's not going to do you any good. Wrinkles, you know. And again, it's obvious. Your father and I aren't idiots…"

"Stop saying that! She never said we're idiots!" my father blustered, defending me, which was quite sweet actually. Although, a little off topic.

I smiled as I watched them enjoying themselves, engaging in their unbearable banter in front of me. They have finally decided to give me a bit of their time and here they are arguing. They really are my parents. And I really wouldn't have it any other way.

They got quiet for a while, seemingly done with each other. My father then spoke up.

"If I was the boy, I would think you just want me back because you're lonely," my dad said as his queen attacked my bishop.

"That's true. He wouldn't think that you truly like him. After all, you only started to hint that you want him back after he did not follow you everywhere anymore," my mother chimed in. "Reminds me of a time when, my suitor, Dexter had this really funn—"

My father's glare cut her off. She laughed daintily at his jealousy.

"That was way before I met your father," she couldn't resist adding with a wink.

"Brooke!" my father said in outrage. I laughed at the silly exchange. I have missed them.

"So what do you think I should do?" I asked. They both looked at me. I think it was strange thing for them for me to be asking for advice. But that didn't stop them from giving any.

"You should prove to him you really like him, not just as a companion or someone to order about," my father shrugged.

"Convince him that you are willing to be his girlfriend! Invite him to what's-her-face's party, Velma's daughter, you know, the one who looked like she fell on her face as a child…"

"Mom!" I laugh. "Don't pretend you don't know her name. It's Kelly."

My mom snorted and pouted while my dad just watched her in amusement, "I never liked that girl. Always pushing you around when you were children. And her voice, the most annoying voice in the planet, more irritating than nails on a chalk board. Her mother who doesn't have a backbone and just tolerates her hideous behaviour but if she was my daughter I swear… Nevermind, Rhonda dear, just focus on getting Thaddeus back. He's a nice young man. Both of you are well suited."'

"How would you know? You've never even met him?" I asked, with great confusion.

"Your father talks about him all the time. Praises him for bringing you're grades up. Says his brilliant and has a great future. Not my words, his," she said, pointed to my father and took another sip from her coffee brought to her by one of the staff.

My father mumbled something under his breath but he was smiling. It was odd. It was like they both knew Curly. It gave me a weird feeling like they've been spying on me.

They couldn't have, that would be weird.

That's what I told myself as my father proudly announced, "Checkmate!"

"Did you do a background check on him?" I asked accusingly.

They guiltily glanced at each other. Busted.

….

The following week after my crazy motel adventure and emotional family reunion, I studied hard for my upcoming tests so I did not really had time to mull over things that happened between Curly and I. Or I prevented myself from thinking about him. I had to pull up my GPA to keep myself in the squad. I have not forgotten that but somehow, after all that's happened, it seemed less important now.

Still, I couldn't stop thinking about a certain boy with dark hair during times when I had finished reading a book full of dizzying facts or showering or just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I did not know a person could miss someone this much. It's like withdrawal syndrome. It was dampening my spirits so I kept myself busy all the time.

If I wasn't studying, I was doing something with my parents like eating lunches at classy restaurants and playing golf with them, eager to make up for the lost time. At night, though, it was a different story. I read every book, answered every practice paper and double checked all answers. I marked all my practice papers with the help of the answer booklets. At first the results were disappointing but then again, what did I expect? But soon, I was getting the hang of things and by the time the first test was given, a particularly cheerful sunny morning, I was confident and ready.

A Math test.

I cracked a smile. Curly was always good at Math and as my tutor, he taught me a few tricks that made calculations for certain questions easier and quicker. My smile started to fade then, when had there ever been a memory with Curly not attached to it?

I was lucky he was not there. He's in the advanced class. Even though I was confident, I was still a bundle of nerves. Anticipation and great expectations, I think. He certainly wasn't needed in the mix.

I finished my test with to time to spare for checking answers, so I did. Thrice. Evelyn Johnson glanced curiously at me. She must think I'm some sort of anal, obsessive compulsive freak. I did repeatedly check the papers so maybe she had the right to view me as a weirdo. Geez, I really am losing my mind.

Is that the price of hanging out with a neurotic boy? If it is, I don't really care much about it. A great classmate of mine once said "I'd rather be f***ing crazy than be deadly boring", she's right. I like Helga when she's drunk, which she was when she said that aloud to Melissa Sykes, the super popular prom princess who had graduated last year. That made my night. Melissa Sykes was a bore. And downright mean, to people like Helga. Oh, she was nice to people who had massive bank accounts but the rest could go into a hole and wither for all she cared.

And as I thought about it, I've been judgemental towards people like Helga too. I see now that I was in the wrong. It's not how one should treat people. One should be like Arnold, always open to help others. That thought cheered me up, I should aim to be something like him. Keep myself busy with being kind to everyone so that I can put off dealing with my own problems.

Suddenly, the bell rang and the teacher started to collect our papers. I kissed mine for good luck and saw Evelyn watch me again. Let her look, I thought as I passed the cherry lip gloss-stained test paper to my teacher.

I got out of the class feeling free and proud. A sense of achievement coursed through me. Nadine soon hooked her arm through mine as we walked through the halls and headed to English, for our next test.

I really didn't expect to see the buxom blonde that Curly introduced to me as Gwen when Nadine and I rounded a corner. Gwen's eyes were wide, shining with abnormal amounts of happiness. How could one be that constantly happy? Wouldn't one just explode? Apparently not, this girl was a walking example that no one ever spontaneously combusted from being too optimistic.

It was a real shocker to see her at _our_ school.

"Hi, Rhonda! Remember me?" she chirped. Nadine stared at me questioningly.

"Yes! You're Gwen! Cu— Thad's friend, right?" I chirped as happily as she did. Fixing a smile as huge as hers hurt, but I did that too.

She pouted at the implication that she was just a friend. "Thad and I are more than friends, Rhonda. You know that."

Nadine gave me a look it spoke volumes. _Who is this overly happy crazy person and what the hell is she talking about?_

I sent her a look too. _Will tell you later._

She accepted that as Gwen went on and on how far this school was and how it was the only free day she had. I doubt Curly asked her to come. It wasn't jealousy. It was just logic. Truthfully and seriously! It's a day of tests not a bring-your-possibly-more-than-friend to school day. She should know that if she is genuinely "more than friends" with Curly. Which she isn't, I'm sure of it.

"This is Nadine," I said pleasantly, introductions were needed after all.

"Oh! Where are my manners? Ha! I'm sorry. Hello, Nadine! I'm Gwen!" she squealed. I resisted the urge to cover my ears with my hands.

I think Nadine felt the same. She did take the hand Gwen extended. "Hi Gwen, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine," Gwen gushed.

"Do you mind if I asked a question?" Nadine said, although from her tone, it wasn't as if Nadine cared if Gwen minded, she would still ask the question.

"Oh sure. Go right on ahead."

"How did you get into our school?" Nadine told her bluntly as my eyes went to probably the standard size of saucers.

"I talked sweetly to security guard. He understands," Gwen replied, unfazed. Nadine nodded and that was that.

I tried to cut the tension. Believe me, I did. Although, I think my lame attempt was beyond pathetic.

"I don't think this is a great time to visit, Gwen, we're having tests. I think Thad might be busy," I said carefully, not wanting to start any trouble.

Her chin was more than parallel to the ground and she sniffed, "I'm sure no matter how busy he is, he'll find a way to make time for me."

Alright, I wasn't the only one who attracted psychos. It seems that psychos also attracted psychos. It figures. Birds of a feather, flock together and all that.

I forced a smile at Gwen and felt Nadine's tug on my hand, "It's nice seeing you, Gwen. I'll tell T had I saw you and to come looking for you. I have to be off. English test. Bye!"

I didn't wait for her reply. I made a dash for English with Nadine, promising to tell her the full story after the test.

One thing was for sure. I didn't like Gwen. Not one single bit. I think Nadine's on my side, so I didn't feel bad for not liking her.


	20. CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY

**CURLY**

"Did you know that the hot chick we saw at the diner is outside our classroom?" Sid told me as soon as I sat down for our English test.

"What?" I wasn't expecting that. How did Gwen know which school I go to?

"Really, believe it. She's waiting for you outside. Man, you're really lucky. How did you meet her again?" Sid whispered then he let out a low whistle. I ignored his last comment and turned my attention to the door, leaving him staring into space with that dazed expression.

Sid was right. Gwen was outside the door. When she saw me, she gave me a big wave and mouthed something I could not catch. How the heck did she find me?

The answer that I needed just stepped into the room. Our eyes met and just like always, I caught my breath. She turned away, holding onto Nadine tightly, heading to the back of the room. I cleared my throat. Of course, Gwen found out where I studied through Rhonda. And being the popular heiress that she is… one Google search away and you could know everything there is to know about her. I would know, I used to Google her. That was back in those days, when I was still a fool for her, of course.

Not anymore. I swallowed the thick, slimy feeling of being betrayed. Now, I can't hate her more if I tried. She used her charm and appeal and her physical attributes to lure me back to worshipping her just so that she had someone to hang out with. No, no more. She used me. She never really liked me. She was just lonely and I had enough of being her play thing. So what if she's lonely? I've been quite lonely for many years, working hard just to get a scrap of her attention. She only gave it to me when she had no one else. Sure, she had friends. Most of them were fake and did not care about her at all. For the first time, I felt sorry for Rhonda Lloyd.

It doesn't change the fact though that she's still a selfish temptress.

I could feel her gaze at the back of my neck. I clenched my fist and prevented myself from turning to the back. The funny thing about being used by Rhonda Lloyd, to be her "buddy" or "pal", was that the old me would have been fine with it. Go along with it and hope that she'd see me as more than that soon.

Tchh. Not anymore, my eyes are open and it's payback time.

I have tolerated every bad thing she's done and all the horrible words she's said to me over the years just because she's Rhonda Lloyd, "my beloved". Well, she isn't my beloved anymore. She can just take a long walk on a short pier.

I hatched a plan. To show that I had moved on, to show everyone Rhonda Lloyd is no longer my number one, after the English test I was determined. Immediately after the bell rang and we handed our test papers, I stood up.

I stormed out of the classroom and strode to Gwen. As always, she looked gorgeous with her shiny blonde hair and seductive eyes. She could be the one for me. She thought so. All I had to do was try to like her and she is very easy on the eyes. So, without thinking much about it and just doing it, I bent her down and kissed her. I caught the surprise in her face but she soon closed her eyes and wound her arms around my neck.

In front of everybody, I kissed one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever met. I heard gasps, squeals and cheers. I heard it all but focused on Gwen's soft mouth and her mewls. She soon moaned then pulled away but not before biting my lip. "Aren't you happy to see me?" she purred.

"I am. I'm very happy to see you," I said with a grin.

I knew it was worth it when I saw Rhonda Lloyd's widened eyes and how she almost stumbled trying to get to the next class. I smiled. She is not important anymore.

**RHONDA**

Jerk. Dumb jerk.

Fine, think that I'm only interested in you because I want some company. Fine, get over me. It's fine Really. Like I care? There are a million other guys who would want to be with me.

The problem is, I do care. Doesn't that just suck? Twice, he has gotten over me. Twice, this has happened. It is almost laughable. Our timing always suck. It's just a freaking waste. I'm tired. I'm so exhausted. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. Why should I even like a nutcase like Thaddeus Gammelthorpe? It doesn't make sense. We don't make sense.

That's the beauty of it though, isn't it?

We don't make sense ergo it's dramatic, breath-taking and captivating.

I sigh. I had to face the truth as he looked at me while he kissed her. I turned away. I can't let him go. I still walked away.

For the moment, let him think that Gwen "The Big Breasted Bimbo" is the one for him. Once he realises how amazing we would be if he gave me another chance, he will come back to me. I just have to wait. He had loved me. He loves me. He will always love me. He can't go back now. He's swam too far, has fallen too deep.

And I guess I had too. It is giddying and wonderful and no other boy has ever had the power to hurt me like this or make my heart beat faster just because we are in the same room. I'm not giving him up.

He can kiss Gwen all he wants. In the end, it's still going to be me.

**HELGA**

Idiots, I say. They are worse than me when it comes to matters of the heart. What a bunch of dolts. I have had enough of watching Curly make out with a blonde girl who I didn't recognise. The student body don't seem to mind though. _It's a free show! Pass the cotton candy and twizzlers! Laa dee da!_ I squeezed through the morons of my school to catch up with Rhonda. To see how she's doing. Not that I'm concerned about her. It's just, it must be painful to have to see the boy you like kissing someone else. I had been there before. I just don't think Rhonda's tough enough to handle this on her own, that's all.

I'm not being kind to Rhonda Lloyd, just considerate. Which is totally DIFFERENT.

However, I am going to need therapy after seeing that blonde girl stick her tongue into Curly's mouth. Of all the disgusting crap they could pull, this is the one that I had to see today.

I sneaked a quick glance back at them. Is she now grabbing his butt?

Argh! That's it, I'm calling Dr. Bliss! After I deal with Rhonda...

I feel like this is going to be a long week.

**RHONDA**

"Hey, Rhonda! Wait!" a feminine voice called out to me when I was about to go into the girls toilet. I turned. It was Helga. What did she want?

"Uh, what is it Helga?" I asked warily. Helga and I aren't what you would normally call friends.

"Do you want to talk?" she asked as soon as she pushed me inside the toilet. What the hell? She approached me and then asked me if I wanted to talk. Something weird is going on here.

Helga was sort of staring at me oddly and I can't help but raise a brow at that. She cleared her throat then started playing with her hands. An aura of nervousness surrounded her. Helga was nervous? What for?

"You know, that… what you saw there, it may, uh! How the hell do I say this?" she yelled as she almost punched a cubicle. I raised my hands in surrender because Helga really appeared murderous.

"I don't know!" I squeaked.

She blinked. "Oh, sorry. It's just, I've never been good at this," she said, appearing forlorn.

"Good at what?"

"Comforting people," she sighed. Why would she want to comfort me? I would have laughed if I wasn't so scared of Helga's unpredictable mood swings.

"Uh, do I look like I need comforting?" I said, feeling pretty stupid having this weird conversation with Helga Pataki in the girls' toilet.

For a long moment, she scanned my face. Her eyes were sorrowful and her mouth curved downwards. It was the first time I've seen Helga so vulnerable. I wanted to give her a big hug but I figured I'll just get scratched by her if I did that.

"You actually do," she whispered softly.

"Well, I don't need comforting," I said hotly. And for a second, Helga looked offended. Then her typical scowl replaced the expression.

"My mistake then," she snapped and got out of the toilet, slamming the door.

I stood inside the toilet, dumbfounded. What just happened?

…

As my luck would have it, I ran into the "happy couple" just as I stepped into the car park. Gwen was glowing, with the help of the rays of happiness that she emitted through her non-existent pores. I gritted my teeth. She had herself draped on him.

"Hey, Rhonda!" she called out. They went over to where I was standing, about five feet away from my car. "I found him."

I plastered a wide grin as he and I shared a look. His face was unreadable but his jaw was set. I could tell he doesn't really want to hear my voice. Tough luck. His new girlfriend is a fan of mine.

"Ah, yes you did!" I said. _Guard him close because he won't be yours any longer. _Oops, I did not just think that.

"We're going out for pizza, want to join us?" she asked, genuinely interested if I wanted to eat with them. Like a third wheel. Yup, the girl can't be more naïve or psychotic (either one) if she tried. I scratched the back of my head for a more convincing effect of I-would-love-to-but-I-can't excuse.

I let my gaze wander to his face, he turned away. I focused back on Gwen. "That sounds really fun but I have to go home and can you believe it? I actually have to study for tomorrow's test."

Thaddeus decided to actually face me and then gave me a menacing glare. If looks could kill, my head would have probably exploded under his eyes. Is he really that mad? He's the one who has a clinging blonde by his side! Why does he have the gall to be angry?

I glared back at him ignoring Gwen's whimpy, "Bummer."

"Yeah, bummer," I ground through my teeth as I continued to give everything into my own evil glare. Thaddeus narrowed his eyes. I narrowed mine too.

"I know how you feel, Rhonda. When I went through high school I ju-"

"What?" I asked, all my attention now on Gwen. "You graduated?"

She beamed but Thaddeus, who for the first time decided to react to what was being said, gave Gwen a sideway glance of disbelief. "Yeah, I graduated when I was fourteen. I'm now in college."

"You're smart?" I said sceptically. How could that be?

She laughed. "I get that a lot. People see the blonde hair and make their own assumptions. I don't blame them. I just think they're ignorant."

"You're actually a genius, babe?" Thaddeus suddenly chimed in and Gwen giggled at what he said. Babe? Is he brainwashed? Babe is a pig in a kid's movie! Thaddeus said that when Gerald called Phoebe babe in the seventh grade. I remember.

They started rubbing noses. I wanted to barf.

"Babe is a pig in a kid's movie. Surely, a beautiful genius like Gwen deserves a better love label," I said flatly. They both turned to me. Gwen looked confused, Thaddeus looked furious. I had no doubt he remembered that incident in the seventh grade too.

"I don't mind," she said, cupping Thaddeus' face. "As long as I'm his babe."

_I hope you don't mind being turned into bacon then._

That inner bitch of mine needs to shut up.

"I think we should leave Rhonda here, back to whatever it was she was doing before," he said firmly, glaring at me again and then dragging Gwen to his bike. Gwen waved at me goodbye with her fingers then ran with him, giggling, to his bike.

I almost sobbed. Almost. Instead, I went inside my car and blast the radio up as I drove hysterically out of the car park, unintentionally (I swear), almost running the couple on the bike over.

…

The days passed by quickly, a blur of tests and seeing high school graduate Gwen Ferrell (yes, apparently she has a surname) fetch Curly from school. I admit I feel a pang of jealousy whenever I see them together but something inside me continues to say 'Just hang in there'. So, I hang on. Even though it's painful and I'm slowly losing my grip, I hang on.

The morning I went to school with a massive headache was the day we all received our report cards. Mr. Shrultz, our homeroom teacher handed ours and I jumped on my seat with nervous energy. Of course, Evelyn Johnson looked at me weirdly again. Maybe it was because of the headache but I got really fed up with all those looks she threw me like I was some kind of a freak.

"You got a problem?" I snapped and she shrunk back into her seat. I kind of felt bad for that.

When Mr. Shrultz went up to me and handed my report card I greedily grabbed it and basked in the glory when he said, "Tremendous effort, Rhonda! I'm quite proud of your improvement this semester!"

Mr. Shrultz walked away to give another classmate his/her report card. I scanned mine. I've never seen so many As in my report book before. Granted most of them were A minuses but… I was simply so happy that it almost stopped my heart when I saw my Math grade.

C minus.

I didn't fail but I didn't do as well as I expected. The thought saddened me. My best was not good enough. To make matter worse, I actually thought the test was easy and that I aced it. It made me want to throw my desk at Evelyn Johnson then rip my report card to shreds. I did not do any of that no matter how much I wanted to. I just nodded and accepted my grade.

Then I smiled. I scored better than I ever expected for all my subjects except Math. I was safe. I could stay in the squad and cheer my heart out. I learnt a lesson though, that education is important no matter what anyone says.

The bell rang but I stay seated just staring at my report card. Eventually, someone sat beside me and started talking softly. "How are your grades?"

I replied without turning to him. "Great. I got the best tutor." I paused. "Still, I wish the boy isn't such a bastard." I got up and left, rubbing my forehead to soothe the throbbing ache. I had stunned Thaddeus Gammelthorpe speechless.

…

"Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. I need to see you in my office. Now," Coach Lysell's voice boomed through the PA system. I got up from my seat under the scrutiny of my peers' judgmental eyes. I didn't falter. I walked straight and soon I was out of the classroom.

I ran toward Coach Lysell's office and twice I slipped because of the newly waxed floor.

I burst open the wooden door, giving Coach Lysell a mild stroke. "Jesus! Rhonda! You scared the living daylights out of me. Come in!"

I shut the door behind me and took a seat on one of the plastic chairs in front of her desk. Dog-eared documents and disposable coffee cups were strewn on top of her desk. In fact, at that moment I noticed how hyper she looked, her eyes wide and she was fidgety.

"I want to congratulate you for actually managing to stay in the squad. I know it must have been hard and I certainly wouldn't know where to find as good as a flyer like you in this school if you left the squad so thank you for not making that a problem I had to face," Coach said sternly but she released a small smile. "I'm proud of you. I'd never seen anyone put in such determination into something and actually produced excellent results."

"Thank you, Coach," I said, truly humbled by her praise.

"You're a smart girl, Rhonda," she said and paused. It was as though she was searching for the right words. She scratched the back of her head and continued, "I know you'll make the right choices but sometimes we make mistakes and… well, if there's anything you will like to share or talk about with me, know that I'll be here and as a teacher, anything you say will be in confidence."

My heart warmed at what Coach said. There are people who truly cared about me and I was thankful. It's just, I couldn't bring myself to say what I was going through. Apparently, they noticed I had been in a bit of funk and from now on I have to pretend it's nothing.

"I'm fine, Coach. I'm not going through anything major or you know, self-destructive," she and I chuckled. _Nothing self-destructive, huh? You sure about that? Isn't going around seeing them together destructive to your heart? If that isn't self-destructive, I don't know what is. _

I blocked out the stupid tiny voice that had been getting louder since the Gwen incident.

"So you're okay?" the Coach asked as her brows still furrowed in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Couldn't be better…" Then I bolted out of her office to avoid a confession.

…

"Is there anybody going to listen to my story? All about the girl who came to stay… She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry. Still, you don't regret a single day. Ah girl… Girl…" Arnold was singing softly when I walked inside the cafeteria. It was unclear to me the reasons of him belting out into a song though I didn't stop him. I actually like the Beatles.

"Any particular "Girl" you're singing about, Arnold?" I said as I joined the line.

He turned back and saw my gigantic smirk, his ears started to turn red and he stammered, "N-not really. I j-just like the Beatles."

"Ohhh… Okay, so I guess that's good. That, you know, you just like the Beatles. And you're not actually singing about a certain girl. Perhaps, I don't know, Helga Pataki?" I said just to get a rise out of him. He flinched and I saw his hands forming into fists.

"What makes you say that?" he asked innocently.

"Cut the BS, Arnold. This love hate thing going on with Helga is getting old and quite frankly we're getting sick of it," I said and took a step as the line moved. Arnold moved stiffly.

He was quiet for a while then he said so softly that I strained to hear it, "I could say the same to you, Rhonda."

A big stab of hurt shot through me. I swallowed back the tears threatening to fall which Arnold, of course, noticed. That was a low blow. I didn't expect that from Arnold. Of course, it wasn't fair of me to think that because I started it.

"Oh. God! I'm sorry, Rhonda! I didn't mean it to sound like that!"

"It's fine. It's the truth, isn't it?" I swallowed and sniffed and looked at him. We were both pathetic. We sighed together. Pathetically.

For a few beats, we were silent, just drowning in our misery. "We have to make our move, don't we?" I didn't know if he was referring to the line which started moving or our horrible love life.

I was pretty sure he was talking about our love life.

"I mean, it's probably best to stop making everybody sick with this love hate thing we got going on with our respective other halves," he continued. I gave him a watery smile.

"It's almost like a public duty," I said and he laughed. The laugh subsided into a lopsided smile.

Then he said something I seriously doubt but would never forget. "I think we're going to be just fine."

"Sort of like taking a sad song and making it better?" I said.

He nodded. "Remember to let him into your heart."

"And then I can start to make it better?" I added.

We looked at each other and then burst out laughing. Together we sang, "Na na na na na, na na na!" and freaked everybody out. Lovesick fools unite.

…

Unfortunately, no amount of Beatles' love song could cure me and as I joined the crush that was Kelly's party, the smell of sweat, alcohol and smoke attacked my nostrils mercilessly. I crinkled my nose but it didn't help get rid of the foul odors. Bodies were as close as they could get to each other and they pulsated and gyrated to the music in a dance that put most of those looking for a good time in a dizzying trance. I passed by Arnold and Helga who were having a heated discussion and were probably the only ones having a conversation in the room.

It was hard to get through the ocean of people rubbing against each other and more often than not I felt harassed and molested as some guys took the opportunity to thrust their hips my way. Eww. It suddenly felt like coming to the party was a mistake. Luckily, after pushing a guy who thought I'd like it if he rubbed his butt against me, I saw Nadine and Lila sitting on a sofa. Both were looking unhappy. I was sweating buckets and my dress was sticking on to my back by the time I reached them.

"Hey guys! Why the long faces?" I asked. A couple was making out beside Lila, the girl straddling the guy. They were completely oblivious to everyone in the room, lost in their own world. The look of horror Lila gave them made me laugh. The redhead turned to me with narrowed eyes, I look at Nadine instead.

"I can't find him," Nadine whined. Her anxious eyes scanned the crowd for a certain junior.

She was looking good wearing a floral summer dress with cute sandals that looked like they'd be hard to walk with. Her hair was done in an elaborate braid while a few curls still framed her face beautifully. My best friend was definitely dressed to the nines. So was Lila, she had on a deep green dress with killer heels and her red hair was just loose, complementing her milky skin. She looked gorgeous as always but she also looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here. She was holding a cup filled with something and from the looks of it, she hasn't even taken a single sip yet.

"You'll see him. I saw him before I came in," I lied just to raise her hopes up. In truth, I have not seen Jared Greene the whole evening. Seeing as I spent the whole evening getting ready for the party which I now regret. I shouldn't have made a big effort. No one would notice it in this environment.

"Really?" Nadine's eyes shone and for a second I felt guilty, until I saw Jared Green in the corner of my eye. I pointed him out in the crowd.

"There he is," I whispered at her and she excitedly hurried away. Disappearing inside the giant mass filled with horny, drunken teenagers. I sat down beside Lila, who still appeared squeamish due to the excessive PDA of the couple beside her.

"You okay?" I asked her softly.

She nodded. Then, she shook her head. "No. I want to go home. I had been leered at by seven drunken guys and I'm not enjoying this at all. Rhonda, I'm scared."

Ahhhhh… The realities of teenage life had taken a toll and had shocked Lila down to her sensible shoes (or at this time, not so sensible heels).

"If you don't want to stay, I'll take you home," I simply said. It's for her own good. Every second longer she spent in the party made her look like she's closer to fainting in disbelief at all the sinful things people her age were doing. A few boys were smoking in a corner, some were clinking cans with each other and chugging their beers like it was diet soda. I could see how Lila would feel uncomfortable here. To be honest, I felt a little uncomfortable too.

"Oh no! I couldn't possibly ruin your evening," she gushed.

"Trust me, my evening's already ruined. I dressed up expecting at least someone decent to compliment me and all I got are sleazy looks, pelvic thrusts and butt grabs," I sighed and she giggled. I put my hands on hers and said, "If you really want to go now, no one will judge you… and I don't think anyone would even mind." Or notice, I didn't say it though.

She smiled and nodded, "Okay, I'm going home but Grace was searching for you earlier. I think you at least owe her a moment of your time. She's graduating. This may be her last party here at home."

"I know, and she has been such a great captain. Let me find someone that can take you home," I said and I stood up and searched the crowd for a reliable person that can take Lila home safely. Coincidentally, I saw Brainy- I mean Brian just a few feet from where I was standing.

"Pssst! Brian!" I yelled over the din and he turned, surprised that I'd call him. He was standing alone looking as miserable as Lila when I spotted him. I was confused as to why he was invited. Was he really invited or did he crash the party and was disappointed by what he'd found?

He came over quickly and I didn't beat around the bush. I told him Lila needed a ride home and seeing that he too didn't seem to be enjoying the party, if he could bring Lila home. I was relieved when he said he'd be more than happy to and he smiled at Lila before taking her hand and guiding her through the throng of people.

They disappeared and I sat alone (the couple making out beside me doesn't count) on the sofa. A few minutes of staring at the students dancing and bumping to the loud, obnoxious music made me wonder why I had fun at parties like these before. Now all I felt was dread and that I was so jaded. I blame it on the heartbreak that broke my innocence.

My pathetic singlehood probably emitted an aura that sharks like Jimmy Conrad found appealing as he stopped talking to his friends and strolled towards me before taking a seat beside me. I didn't like his presence. He was one of Francis' dumb perverted friends. He had hit on me before.

"What's u,p pussy… cat?" he whispered to my ear then laughed at his disgusting come on.

"I don't see how that would be any of your business, Conrad, so leave me alone," I snapped.

The dense boy, unluckily, could not take a hint. He put an arm around me and leaned in closer. "I like women that are hard to get. Francis told me you are a cold fish. I think, you're not. You're just a woman worth working _hard_ for. So Rhonda, whatever it is you are doing, it's certainly working," he breathed into my ear and motioned to the bulge in his pants.

I shivered, not from lust but from disgust. I hastily stood up and spat, "I told you to leave me alone. Do I need a Fuck Off sign on my forehead too for you to understand?"

I started to walk away but his hand was too fast. Even drunk, he was strong enough to grab my wrist and pull me back to the sofa. I struggled but he quickly turned frisky and he pinned me to the sofa.

"Let go of me!" I yelled and as his face came close to mine for a kiss I closed my eyes then he pulled away from me. I blinked. Huh?

Surprisingly, I saw him in front of me, near my feet, clutching his stomach. On one side, standing straight with his fists clenched was a boy I almost did not recognize. He appeared ready for battle and had a vengeful look on his face.

It was Curly.

"I think she told you to leave her alone," he growled and Jimmy laughed.

"Pfft," he spat and stood up, almost as tall as Curly and about 30 pounds heavier, "What's it to you?" A very big coil of nervousness formed in my stomach. There's a high chance that there's going to be a fight. Now, I have to stop it. Isn't my life freaking fantastic?

"Aren't you dating that blonde who looks like a Playboy model? For your information, Rhonda Lloyd is now free to all. And a lot of guys would like to get a piece of her," he said in a way that was not very nice and added a vulgar tongue thing at me that made me bury myself deeper into the sofa. I know what Curly was thinking. That he would like to hear a sickening crunch as he pounded his fist into Jimmy's face but that kind of thinking will get him in trouble.

I stood between them, and in my high heels, I was as tall as both of them. Mustering all the courage I had left I hissed, "I'm not a freaking piece of meat that's "free to all", Conrad. Either you play nice or I'll tell Kelly and her group of senior boys that you're causing trouble. And we all know where that will lead. So, what's it going to be?"

For a disturbing anxious moment I thought Jimmy was going to do something to me but then he backed away and went onto hit on another girl. This time, one with a boyfriend. I don't think he'll get lucky.

With "quick hands" Jimmy gone that left me with him, we haven't spoken since he commented on my grades and I made my dramatic exit. I realized that as I gave him a glance, I was shaking. I faced him and marvelled. When did he ever dress in black polo shirts and beige pants? He must have gone shopping with Gwen. The thought made me want to hurl and weep at the same time.

"Are you okay?" he asked. His tone was stiff but there was a tinge of concern in it.

"I'm fine," I said firmly and noticed a girl with blonde hair wearing an extremely low cut, red dress making her way across the room. "Gwen's here."

"Oh," he said, not stopping from gazing into my eyes. He gulped visibly. "Are you sure you're fine? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

His concern made me want to cry but not yet. I could cry later, when he is gone. I blinked rapidly and gave him a smile. "Really, I'm fine. Thank you for helping me get rid of Jimmy. I wouldn't have been able to do it myself."

He smiled. The first one he gave me all week. It added another dagger to my already bleeding heart. I inhaled deeply. "I'm sure you would have been able to handle him. He didn't leave because of me."

"Thank you anyway," I said, not caring if my voice was close to breaking. And it seemed, like for one single moment, we were the only ones there. Staring into each other's eyes, I felt the whole world melt away until there was only us. But then all good things come to an end. And this is our end. I realised I couldn't do it anymore. I can't love him like this. I have to give up.

"You have to go," I whispered, looking past him at Gwen who was still scanning the room for Curly or Thad or whatever name he's comfortable with for the moment. It broke my heart for the millionth time when he nodded and dropped his gaze.

With his back facing me, he said, "Have a nice night, Rhonda." To my ears, it sounded like goodbye. He went up to Gwen and as he reached her, the exact moment he reached her, a slow song suddenly played and he pulled her close to him in an embrace.

I tore my gaze away as hot tears burned in my eyes. Grace would have to celebrate her last party without me.

I bumped into couples who were slow dancing until I reached the front door of Kelly's house and made my escape. I let out the sobs I've been trying to hold and reached the empty street that was line with cars. The noise from the party was still audible from where I decided to sit on the curb. I bawled my eyes out then laughed without humor. Isn't this how it began? With me sitting on a curb crying?

Funny how some things in life repeat themselves. And it's funny how some things don't.

When would the pain go away? It had already spread to my whole being until it felt like I was drowning. It's too overwhelming. He still cares about me but… he can't see me as someone he can end up with anymore. That little truth that revealed itself when he protected me from Jimmy hurt the most. He was concerned about me but in the end he still went to Gwen.

I thought of how my life had taken a huge tumble over the past month and a half. Things really have changed. And it wasn't small changes, it was big ones that left me stunned and gasping for air with its ability to hurt and destroy anything in its way.

I decided right then I hated change but the truth was that it was inevitable.

"Crying your heart out over Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, that would be the first," a voice drawled and through my tears I saw it was Helga. She sat beside me on the curb.

"No. I just lost an earring," I gave the lamest excuse in probably the whole history of lame excuses. Helga gave me a flat look.

"I'm mean and sarcastic, Rhonda, not dumb and dumber," she said as she stared at me, her head tipped to the side. She smiled.

"You don't want to call Nadine because she's having the time of her life with Jared but then again you have no one to call. Did I get it right?" she asked.

"I haven't even thought of calling Nadine but you're right. I don't want to ruin her night," I said sounding like Lila.

"You sound like Lila," Helga groaned.

"That's what she said to me just now, 'I don't want to ruin you're night, Rhonda' when she admitted she wanted to go home."

"It figures," Helga said. After some time of silence, I decided to apologize to Helga.

"I'm sorry if I offended you the other day, I think you're right. I really need someone to talk to."

For a long time, Helga observed me and she sighed. "You didn't offend me, princess. I was just upset that you wouldn't admit it when you're down. You think the rest of us don't notice? We do, and sorry to burst your bubble but some of us actually care."

I smiled through my tears and said, "You're not that bad Helga."

"Try saying that after you come to my house when I've just woken up," she grumbled and we laughed. I felt instantly better. Like some of the weight I had on my shoulders was lifted.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride home," she said before she stood up, extending a hand.

"Isn't Arnol-?"

"Arnold Shmarnold. He's a big boy. He can take himself home."

"Are you his ride?" I asked. I wouldn't want Helga to take me home if that meant Arnold will lose a ride home.

Helga scoffed. "No."

"Then why are you sitting here in the curb with me? Are you waiting for him?" I asked. The corners of Helga's mouth drooped down and her brows came together as she fixed her gaze on a particular spot on the road.

She sat beside me again. "Yeah, I was waiting for him. I'm still waiting for him." She sighed. "I'm waiting for him because I love him. I know Arnold's never going to give a damn about me, Princess." As she said the last sentence, she sounded kind of sad. I kept my mouth shut. Best if Arnold is the one to break the truth to her. "But it's just hard, you know, to let go. You've been loving that someone for so long that you know if you let go, if you lose hope that one day you'll be together, you'll realise the world you've built for yourself is going to come crashing down and it's painful. So I wait, even if he doesn't come, even if he doesn't know, I wait. And who knows since the boy is as dense as a redneck who have consumed too much Budweiser, who the bloody hell knows?"

At the end, Helga's speech had made her eyes glassy with tears. I said, "I don't know who knows…"

As if realising I was actually still beside her she turned to me and smiled. "That's right. Atta girl." She slapped my back. "You'll be fine. You just need to get home and maybe rest."

We both stood up and I wiped my cheeks and eyes. Helga just blinked hers away.

I had a big question that I needed to ask. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because Rhonda Lloyd is finally growing up and is ready to face the real world. It's initiation time so I have to be nice."


	21. CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

RHONDA

I listened to Helga's stories the whole time on the drive home. Some stories were amusing, some light-hearted but most of them were sad. I watched the frown that pulled down the corners of her wide mouth. She told me how long she had been loving Arnold and why she kept holding on. I think she was trying to encourage me to continue liking Curly, to continue hoping. What was the point though? He's happy. He has a girl that will be by his side, someone who can listen to him, someone who is willing to be there.

Someone who isn't me. I wasn't willing to be there. I drove him away. I should have taken the opportunity while I had it but how could I have known? How could I have known that the guy who has been there for me… It sounds stupid when I put it that way, doesn't it? I should have known.

I should have fricking known. It was so obvious.

Now, I'm left staring at the endless line of trees that we passed by as Helga drove at breakneck speed, at the same time sharing her life story. I half-listened to what she said as I thought about my own problems.

When we reached Lipton Park, just a couple of streets away from my house I told Helga to just bring me to her house since my parents think I'm spending the night at Nadine's house anyway. Helga just nodded like she understood. I liked that about her. Sometimes I don't have to express myself verbally for her to get what I meant. It was refreshing.

We got out of the car the second we arrived at the Pataki residence. Helga introduced me to her mom who seemed like a nice lady and her dad, a stern-looking man who just nodded at me and told me to make myself feel at home.

Everything went by like a blur until finally I laid down at Helga's bed, using Helga's pillow and was covering myself up with Helga's blanket. I closed my eyes, my breathing slowed down and finally, escaped.

**CURLY**

I danced with Gwen until my feet ached and the crowd thinned. It distracted me and the adrenaline helped me erase the sad face of someone I did not want to remember. I laughed and joked with Gwen. Spun her and twirled her around on the makeshift dance floor in Kelly's house.

Gwen really is beautiful. She just wasn't the type of beauty I want my eyes to linger on.

The type of beauty that stole my breath away. Made my heart ba-dum ba-dum just a little bit more.

"Gwen, Gwen, let's just stop dancing for a while. I want to talk to you," I said while my arms were around her and my lips were close to her ear. I felt her nod and when she pulled back from me there was a huge grin on her face.

I tugged on her hand and led her away from the crowded room until we reached a quiet spot.

"What is it?" she asked, still smiling.

I took a minute to calm myself down and closed my eyes. I opened them again because I want to look at Gwen as I said the words, "This isn't working out."

Quick as flash, Gwen's smile slipped away from her face. A furious expression replaced the joyous one that occupied her face before. "What do you mean _this isn't working out_?"

"Exactly that. We don't suit. I'm not the guy for you. I should have seen that from the beginning but I was in the mi-"

I want to tell you that I saw that slap coming but the truth was that I didn't.

Gwen's hand was still held up in front of my face. Tears were in her eyes and disbelief was clearly there too.

"It's her, isn't it?"

I could only nod. There was nothing else left to say. It's always been Rhonda.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Just go after her, she clearly loves you too," Gwen said as the tears streamed down her face. She laughs but it's without mirth.

"That's not true. She doesn't care about me." I said grimly. "I'm sorry for leading you on."

"I hate you for that but what could you do now? You've done it. Just go get her."

"I told you she do-"

"It doesn't matter what you think. You haven't seen how she looks at you. I have. We ALL have."

I looked up and saw Gwen's tear-stained face. She was imploring me to believe her.

"Stop denying yourself the truth, Thaddeus."

She slapped me one more time then went out through the front door.

**RHONDA**

The sunlight that seeped through Helga's blind woke me up. I turned to the spot next to me only to find it empty. I sighed and rubbed my eyes and turned towards the doors and was very shocked to see someone sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hi," he said in a low voice. Judging from the bags under his eyes, I don't think he got much sleep. I don't think he went home either. His clothes were still the same from yesterday.

"Hi," I squeaked. "I don't mean to be rude but what the hell are you doing here?"

"I just came to see you," he said, watching my face and smiling to himself. "I just came by to see you."

"What about Gwen? Did you send her home?" I asked. I honestly don't know what the heck is going on. I couldn't help the feeling of happiness spreading all over me though. He was there. Really there, sitting by my side.

He just shooked his head and smiled at me. "I broke up with her."

He broke up with her?

"Why? What's wrong? I thought things were going great with you guys?" I asked, being very careful not to let my happiness show.

"I realised she wasn't right for me. You are."

A loud ringing sound came out of nowhere, the picture started to dematerialise and all of a sudden _he_ wasn't there anymore.

I opened my eyes and beside me was a snoring Helga. It figures. A dream was all it was. I smiled and shook my head. Dreams, they can really make you look foolish.

I rolled over and let my feet touch the cold wooden floors. I stretched my arms and yawned, trying to figure out what I should do next when someone knocked on the door.

"Argh! Go away!" Helga grumbled loudly and threw a pillow at me.

"Hey! It's not me!" I yelled.

She looked up. She was so dishevelled that it was comical. I would have laughed if I wasn't so depressed. Her hair was a tangled mess, she had drool on her chin and her little bow was sitting crookedly atop her blonde head.

"Wake up, your Royal Blondeness. Someone is at your door," I said and headed to the toilet.

I was about to close the toilet door when Helga moaned, got up and then opened the door.

She didn't expect it, I too certainly didn't but there he was… Arnold, holding a bouquet of roses, wearing a buttoned up blue shirt and reddest blush I've ever seen on anyone's cheeks.

He had the shyest little smile on his handsome face.

"I came by to see you," he said softly while Helga rubbed her eyes twice to clarify whether what she was seeing is real.

I remained in the toilet but peeked through the small gap.

"A-and give you this?" he awkwardly yelled at her as he shoved the boquet at her. Oh dear lord, it was like an accident. It was painful to watch but difficult to look away from.

Imagine you have had a crush on someone for the longest time then he suddeny appears at your bedroom door without notice, holding a bunch of your favorite flowers. Yes, to say Helga was shocked is an understatement.

As soon as she recovered though, she let it rip.

"What the hell do you think you're doing in here, football head? Do you know what time it is? It is freaking 8 in the morning! Do you expect me to be dressed and well-prepared at eight. In. The. Morning?'' she yelled and emphasised each word with a poke on his chest.

Being the cool dude that he is, Arnold just grinned and said, "No."

"Well, you can just go back an- !"

That was when he kissed her. Just grabbed her and kissed her senseless until I felt bad and decided to give them a bit of privacy. Then, I heard Helga say, "You know, Rhonda is in my toilet right now…"

"Huh?"

….

I was smirking as I came out of the bathroom. They were both sitting down on the bed holding each other's hands and not daring to make eye contact.

"So… I guess you guys are going out?" I smugly asked as I look at them both.

"Well, I guess you could say that," Arnold said.

"Arnold!" Helga hissed.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said softly and then smiled. He put an arm around her and gave her a peck on the cheerk. I didn't know it was possibe to glow even more but she did. She looked like the happiest girl on Earth.

"Oh geez, please don't make me barf before breakfast."

At that, they both stopped nad turned towards me with sympathetic gazes.

"I'm sorry," Arnold said, "I didn't know you'd be here today. It wasn't on purpose or anything. I ju-"

"Arnold, I think that's quite enough, sweetheart," Helga cut in, rubbing his shoulder.

I forced a smile. "I'm fine, you guys! I'm happy for both of you. I just, I need to be alone for awhile so I think I should go home."

They shared a look with each other, as if communicating with each other through their eyes. It was kind of spooky actually if I wasn't so impressed with it. Afterwards, they both nodded.

"Alright. Do you want me to send you home, Rhonda?" Arnold asked.

"Yeah, I could come with if you'd wait a sec so I could get dressed."

"You look fine, darling," Arnold gushed, giving her a stern look.

"Arnold, I'm wearing an oversized t-shirt. I'm not going out of the house like this," she haughtily said.

"Guys! It's fine! I'll just call my driver, he'd bring me home."

"Nonsense! We will send you home," Helga said.

And that was how I ended up in the backseat of Arnold's car with both of them in the front making goo-goo eyes at each other.

**CURLY**

I'm nervous. I'm anxious. However, I knew I've made the right choice.


	22. CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

**RHONDA**

I sat at the back of Helga's car as the two lovebirds held hands and gazed at each other at every stoplight. If I wasn't so happy for both of them I could have puked or shot myself in the face. I did neither things and instead sighed.

I'm really glad for them but I'm just not in the mood to be surrounded by a happy couple so when we reached my house I gave them a quick goodbye, smiled and ran inside, quite pleased to be rid of them.

"Miss Rhonda, how nice of you to join us," Mr. Reeves, one of the butlers, said to me as I walked through the front door. Mr. Reeves is a European man nearing 300 hundred years, I think, and still has old-fashioned views such as that sleepovers are not proper for young ladies like myself. He has an English accent, which I'm not sure is genuine, and a silver mustache, which I can assure you is genuine.

I gave him a smirk. "Yeah, it is nice."

He scowled and I gave myself a mental high five. I never liked Mr. Reeves.

"Where's my father?" I asked as I sat down to remove my shoes. I liked walking barefoot around the house. Who wouldn't when the floor is covered with soft, knotted-pile carpets imported from Tunisia?

"He is currently at the country club, Miss Lloyd. It is after all, the weekend," he stated matter-of-factly like I did not know my father's usual routine.

It's not that I wasn't aware, I just forgot.

"And mother?"

"The mistress of the house is with your father," he informed me.

Great. I am again alone in this big house.

"Alright, since my parents are not here, I will retire to my room to wallow in self-pity and watch Legally Blonde, if that's alright with you. I am not to be disturbed," I said with authority and for a moment, I thought I caught a glimpse of amusement in the old butler's eyes.

I raced up the stairs with my shoes in one hand and dropped them to one side as soon as I entered my room and slammed the door behind me. I dived in to my bed when there was a knock on my door.

"Go away!" I said to the bed sheets in a muffled tone.

Reeves entered anyway. I knew it was him from the heavy, dragging footsteps.

"There is a young man here to see you."

I rolled and used my elbows to prop myself up. "I thought I said I'm not to be disturbed."

"Yes ma'am but he was quite insistent," he said gravely as if contemplating of ways to murder the guest. He hates guests as much as my Aunt Clarise hates flowers. She's allergic to them.

"Oh, alright!" I groaned. It's probably just Arnold. I must have forgotten something at Helga's house.

I followed Reeves to the waiting room and he opened the door for me. I stepped in.

"Did I forget something at… at…" the words were caught in my throat as I saw who was in the room.

"You didn't forget anything," Thaddeus "Curly" Gammelthorpe said to me in a low voice. He didn't sound like himself at all.

All at once my heart felt like it was painfully being squeezed in my chest and my hands felt clammy and cold.

Curly gave me a crooked smile. He looked disheveled even in a simple red t-shirt and jeans. His glasses were a bit askew and his hair, don't even get me started on it.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Hi," he said, raising a hand up in greeting.

"What are you doing here?" I closed the door without looking away from him. "It's just," I glanced at my watch, "10 in the morning."

Alright, so it's not that early.

"Yeah," he replied, still smiling.

"Will you stop that?" I almost yelled.

"Stop what?" he asked innocently.

I gave a sigh of frustration. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about," he quipped, smiling even wider.

I glared at him and asked, "You came all the way to my house, at ten in the morning, to irritate me? Surely you have better things to do with your time."

He stopped smiling after that. His expression, in fact, became serious. A better word would be somber.

"I didn't mean to irritate you," he said softly.

I didn't know what to reply to that. I wasn't really sure what he was doing in my house in the first place.

"I was just kidding, you can continue smiling if you want," I said, suddenly feeling bad that I caused him to stop smiling.

He frowned. A ball of guilt started to form in the pit of my stomach which quickly vanished when he gave a smug grin a few moments later.

"You guilt-tripping asshole," I snapped.

"I can't believe you fell for that again," he said, the smile back on his lips. "Do you remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, summer of seventh grade," I replied flatly. "I don't think to reminisce is what you came down here for. So what is it?"

I waited for the answer. One minute. Two minutes. We didn't break eye contact. Then I cleared my throat causing him to burst out…

"I'm not with Gwen anymore."

I swallowed my shock and blinked. A sense of déjà vu hit me. Sure, it wasn't the exact words like those in my dream but it's pretty close.

"So? What's that got to do with me?" I said, plopping down onto one of the chairs in the room.

"It has everything to do with you," he said. I heard a tinge of frustration in his tone.

I didn't say anything, I wanted to give him a chance to continue but by then I think he knew I wasn't as unaffected as what I appeared to be. I could feel my cheeks heating up and my heart beating really, really fast. I was scared I was a minute away from a heart attack.

"I don't want Gwen."

That did it. I could not not react to that. I stood up. "But you chose her," I told him, my voice rising just a little bit higher than needed.

"I did. And hell do I regret that choice."

"I gave you a chance," I breathed, nearing to tears. He shouldn't be doing this now. It's too late.

Curly ran a hand through his already messy hair. "Yes! I know!" He exhaled loudly, crossing the short distance between us, pinning me with his huge, brown eyes. "I know."

"You didn't take it," I said, my voice breaking.

"I know. I'm really sorry. You did, you did give me a chance and I was happy but I was scared. I was scared."

"You had nothing to be scared of! You could have just said, 'Do you want to be my girlfriend, Rhonda'? and I would have said yes! It was simple! I was ready to say yes!" I yelled at him while I pointed an accusatory finger.

"I know!" he yelled back.

"You keep saying you know! This isn't going to prove anything to me. Why do you think coming down here will solve what it is that's going on between us? You rejected me. You made me feel lonely. Maybe I deserved it after doing it to you so many times, a taste of my own medicine. Is that what you wanted? Is tha-"

I was robbed of the ability to speak after that. It happened exactly after he pressed his lips to mine by grabbing both of my shoulders firmly. I could not possibly speak when I wrapped my arms around his neck, and when I twirled my fingers around his hair at the nape of his neck.

And when I sighed at the pure ecstasy that I was feeling.

I felt his smile then he pulled away. We were both panting as we gazed into each other's eyes.

"There's no excuse. That's why I'm here to tell you I love you," he whispered, brushing my short hair away from my face.

My skin felt burnt at the areas his fingers grazed.

"No flowery declarations of love today, huh?" I breathed, smiling back at him just because I can't help it.

"No flowery declarations of love, unless you want one?" he asked with a quirk of his brow.

"No, thank you."

He nodded, still grinning from ear to ear. He then bowed down to give me a peck on my cheek.

"You chose Gwen," I said.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Yes. I did. I apologise. I didn't want to fall in love with you again. I was scared that would happen. I didn't to want to go over the pain of rejection again. And for awhile, I had convinced myself I was getting over you but then we kept…"

"Yeah. We kept bumping into each other," I simplified what we have been through.

He beamed.

"We can't just suddenly…" I let it hang, not knowing how to continue.

"You said it was simple," he replied, throwing back what I just said earlier.

"I was just being hysterical."

He chuckled at that then swooped down to my jaw. I groaned with pleasure.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he said against my skin.

"Could you at least look at me while you ask that?" I giggled when his nose tickled my neck.

He pulled away from me just a tiny bit and asked properly, "Will you, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, do me, Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, the honor of becoming my girlfriend?"

I didn't reply. Just as he was starting to look worried, I tell him, "Do you want to know a secret, Curly?"

I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down. "Yeah?"

"I would be delighted to be your girlfriend," I said.

A huge smile started to spread on his adorable face, an expression I would always remember, then he bent down and tutored my on how to effectively use my lips.

"I just figured something out," I said as he was moving on to my neck, his wide hands spread on my back.

"What?" he breathed, continuing on his goal to make me gasp.

"I'm Curly's girl!" I explained.

I felt him stiffen then he vibrated against me.

"It's not that funny," I grumbled.

He continued laughing and pulled away for some air. "It's hilarious!"

"To you maybe, I'll be stuck with that title! I'll be forever be known to our peers as Curly's girl."

"Is there anything wrong with that?" he asked.

"Nope. Nothing at all," I told him and we continued our reunion.


	23. Chapter 23

EPILOGUE

**RHONDA**

_One month later…_

I can't think of a day when I'm not with him. It's like we've been joined by the hip or on our case, by the groin. I won't share anymore than that but rest assured we always have a good time. I always knew the boy was passionate.

Helga and Arnold have been going strong. I believe they're out right now, having dinner celebrating their one-month anniversary. And where am I? I'm currently being thoroughly adored by my lovely boyfriend.

I gasp as he tugs on my lower lip with his teeth. He chuckles at my response and continues to snake his hand underneath my shirt. I shiver but pull away.

"Not so fast, loverboy…" I whisper.

He rolls his eyes. "We've reached second base 3 weeks ago."

"Yup, and you definitely scored but can't we take it slow this time? I want to enjoy it. You know, savor the moment."

He laughs and I stare at the adorable crinkles at the corner of his eyes. They aren't noticeable when he has his glasses on so I feel extremely lucky to be the only one who knows their existence.

His hand carefully grazes my face and his eyes trace my body. I feel my insides burning again. How does this boy cause my body to spontaneously combust with desire?

"Haven't we savored long enough?" he whines.

"Not enough in my opinion," I state firmly.

At that, Curly sighs and gets off of me. He slowly walks towards the door before looking back at me and flashing me a grin.

"I said 'take it slow' not 'stop completely'" I growl, wanting him to come back to his bed and caress me again.

"Princess, I'm just giving you what you want. If you want slow, I can do slow. And besides, I think it's time for dinner," he smirks before going through the door.

"Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, you come back here!" I yell.

Just then, ironically, his mom calls out from the kitchen that it's time for dinner. I hear him chuckle in the hallway.

I groan and stand up. As soon as I reach the door, he pulls my hand and traps me against the wall, swooping down on my lips.

"I thought you said it's time for dinner?" I ask.

"I figured mom can wait for a little while more," he says huskily and bends down to kiss me some more.

I don't know how it got from me hating him and almost getting a restraining order to this, this wonderful thing that we have. I love him and I'm pretty sure he loves me too. He has helped me build my relationship with my mom and dad and has encouraged me to become a better person. What would I do without Curly in my life? I wouldn't know. I just know that I wouldn't be as extremely happy as I am right now.

I'm glad I did the things I did because if I didn't, I wouldn't be here with him, right here, right now.


End file.
